All Comments on 'It Ain't About the Dick'

Stopped reading.

Being a woman, you have pretty much summed it up. Sex is a two way street...you get as well as you give.

is to tell us about women who either don't or won't be honest about their own sexual minds. ...but then I'd expect that you either would know the general parameters for yourself based upon your experience...OR you'd tell us to do...?what?

Female here. I agree with everything you've said. The only thing missing is paying more attention to what she DOESN'T want. If she says it's a limit, red lights it or gives a negative react, you better be paying attention. Many women may have the dark desires mentioned. Many don't or have very specific desires. Just because both visual and written porn is rife with women appearing to beg for face slaps, choking, pee showers and litanies of derogatory names...it doesn't mean we all secretly long for that. Many things are so far out of our list of possibilities it never occurrs to mention the hell no factor of them. Guys, if you want specific behaviors included, you would be well served to mention them before and not surprise her in the moment.

One fault of the site is that it does not say how many stars the commentator has awarded . I gave 2. The writer goes out there with a script and that's it. There is no feeling that his partner,who I understand has been gone several years,was involved.

We are being taught by an aggressive alpha male.

I'm a 23 year old girl and I love good sex, but I swear I don't even want to have sex anymore because all the guys my age think that I want to see dick pics all the time and that if you beat the shit of out my pussy then I'll come. Seriously, I've had guys eat me out and literally BITE my clit. It was so painful. If there are two things I wish every guy my age would know they are: 1) average size dicks are MUCH preferable to huge dicks. Huge dicks are seriously so painful. Also, I am much more likely to get off on a small dick with a guy that knows what he's doing than a big dick with a guy that thinks all he has to do is go super fast and hard to get me off. It's not happening. 2) Slow and gentle will get me off every. time. I'm serious. Suck on my nipples, take your time, be confident, lick your fingers and graze them over my ass hole, maybe stick the tip of your finger in there while you're flicking your tongue gently across my nipples. Bite my inner thigh really gently. Take your time. When you lick my clit, you don't have to eat it like Thanksgiving Dinner. Just treat it like a tiny little appetizer that you want to savor. All it takes is a little flick of the tip of your tongue, maybe circle it around a little bit. No need to be so aggressive with everything. I swear, if you do those things to a girl before you enter her, you increase your chances of getting her off by like a million percent. It really is an art form.

This post clearly has the understanding that every single one of us have different sexualities. The fact that you constantly emphasize the importance of asking questions shows experience and understanding I wish most men (of all ages) possessed. Thanks for this post!

I agree with your manifesto. Communication is key on both sides. The best time to ask is when you are both aroused because I think both are more honest about their desires then. In all the animal kingdom only one has a part of the anatomy that is strictly for pleasure and women have it. Learn how to use it and not abuse it.

That said, I tell the young men i know that unless you get in her head, don't bother taking her to bed. What I mean is that women are amazing multitaskers and she could be making out the grocery list, going over next weeks schedule and balancing her checkbook all while making out with you. You have to still those thoughts before she can give in to what her body can experience with you. I can't give you a technique that will work on every woman, because women are complicated. It takes effort and as the writer said communication is key.

Back to the animal kingdom, the females don't choose a mate because of the size of his package, they choose the biggest and strongest male or the one that works the hardest to impress her. The males are the bright colored of most species and by instinct know that they have to work to impress a female and EARN her affection let's call it. Why would you think that our species would be different?

Totally agree

Yes there is no single manual for all women but most of this is spot on. I'm in my upper 40's now and from time to time I wish I could talk to the younger me in my 20's about how to please a woman, wasn't till I got married that I started asking alot of questions with my wife, what do I do? What do you like? How do I do that? Show me, Teach me... ect, We didn't have internet back then so your only source was asking a woman YOUR woman. We've been married 18 years now and I've rocked her world for most of them, simply because she taught me how..

Title says it all. I want to read more of your stories but only see two others. Perhaps you posted under another name? (wishing)

This how to, should be mandatory for males, sort of like a drivers licence!

Never having met one who knew how to drive and I'm committed to my vows that I took and can only have my fantasies. I write my desires to satisfy that need and someday, I hope to share my stories here. I'm still editing and re-writing constantly to get it right because that's the way I want to present it. Thanks for this though, I will share it with my mate, I hope he's open to it.

As a wife of 22 years, I want to spice up our sex life, and he is a quiet soul, doesn't make a sound or breathe heavy when we make love, so it is hard to know what turns him on. This did, he loved me sucking on his balls! This article gave me the idea, and when put into action he loved it!

This is totally on point for doms/subs but the most of it is very applicable to man/woman relationships in general. In fact, only points 8 & 9 seem BDSM-specific.

In my own experience #6 not only turns her on more, it turns me or more--the quality of my own orgasm is proportionate to the quality and quantity of orgasm(s) she's already had.

Indeed, were I writing this essay, I think I would amend #6 to "She cums first and last." Let's get real, guys. Women were designed to be able to cum a lot more times than we can, so clearly the Man Upstairs wants them to. The only valid excuse for not making your woman cum at least six or seven times is her honestly not wanting to.

OTOH, if she wants to cum a shitload more than that, find a way to give her whats she wants--and you don't have to figure it out for yourself, just read #3 again.

As a twenty year old woman, I have to say that I hope all guys read this!

I mean, just this, man. As a 53 year old woman, I really appreciate the time and thought that went in to this. Every young man should be given this before he touches any woman.

It took me years upon years to figure out that much of the most intense foreplay imaginable is that which is brought to bear via mental stimulation and willing communication; interesting, as most women are not shy in pointing this out to us in the first place! There is even a word for it, often used yet seldom truly understood: seduction. Well done, and, like you, I wish I'd picked up on it at an earlier age. Testosterone-induced enthusiasm is one hell of a blinding force, but it can be a man's best friend if he learns to control it, rather than allowing it to control him!