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English
Tops
Great job for your first story mate, keep it up!
2
This so needs next week.
Wow
I need a support group like this!
Very well, except
This was an intense story that dragged you into it - into the soul of some of the characters - into their lust. Praiseworthy short, still with lot of content. Very well written and the story would be an obvious 5*, if I hadn't been so unheartily spat out at the very end when Jackie is cleaning Jon's dick immediately after it was in her ass. This healthwise very dangerous act is just disgusting (for the vary same reason) and I regrettably left on such a low note that you lost one star.
But, please, write more - you have a very good pen.
Great story
Love the build up and the idea behind it. Very hot and very well written.
Definitely need a sequel.
Will Jonathan survive?
Maybe this is exactly what Jonathan needed but how will he feel afterwards?
I tend to overdramatize things. I mean, Literotica is just a place for people to enjoy writing and reading erotic stories. But I can not help but wonder how Jonathan will deal with the feelings of guilt/reminders of what he has lost/etc.
All of the adults you have created sound pretty healthy, emotionally speaking. Sometimes the best thing for you is to be able to help another adult. Taking care kids all of the time can really hobble you sometimes.
Well, I have really enjoyed this introduction (I hope) to a larger story.
Thank you for sharing.
*Quick Clarification*
For the commenter who mentioned Jackie having Jonathan's dick in her mouth after it was in her ass... This is probably silly, and you probably won't be back to see it, but I do want to clarify. It wasn't right after. Jonathan blacked out. Enough time had passed that every one else was dressed, so more happened that he wasn't aware of, it's just the next thing he remembers is waking up with her mouth on him. The other women wouldn't have let her do that, the reasons you mentioned.
Human,
Vulnerable, sexy, shared.
Wow
This is my first ever comment and I generally don't read sequels, but please feel free to continue this story line. That was amazing. Thank you.
Who is looking after the kids?
It was so uncomfortable thinking of them playing downstairs while all this was happening.
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