There's a blast from the past. You should have used your time away for some writing classes. Barneyr has got to be the absolute worst editor in the history of erotica. This was awful. I can't imagine who would use this clown to edit. Have you ever read one of his stories? They're as bad as this. Dude, get someone decent, please. This reads like you used Google translate or something.
Amazing that no matter how old we get, we never lose the capacity to be stupid, foolish and arrogant. With age comes experience, with experience come knowledge, with knowledge some gain wisdom, and some do not.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
BarnyR is a horrible editor, you all say you make changes after he's done his 'magic' but that is a cop out. This was all over the place, too wordy for a short story also rushed.
Th story doesn't really go anywhere, but it's not that badly written. There are a lot of words missing from sentences and wrong words used - "but" instead of "by" for example, - and no one really needs to know if he withdrew twenty grand from his account to buy the condo or not; it doesn't advance the story nor does it give local color.
You writing does show some promise though - what you really need is more experience and both a content and syntax editor you trust.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
Jezzaz giving someone writing advice?
When you write something someone actually reads instead of that Ingram's shit, come back and maybe someone will listen to you, cuckboy.
This is the only thing that could have been worth reading today. I agree with everyone else. The editing was, to be kind, non-existent. One anonymous said that he was giving it a four because, "at least it wasn't a cuckie."
Is that really what people accept? "At least it wasn't that?" So it gets a four? That is supposed to mean, "really liked it, good read." So, it was bad, but not as bad as dog poo, so I give it a four? Sorry, can't go there. I don't like the "cuckie" stories, either, but this isn't good and gets a two for the miserable writing. Like everyone else said, get a good editor and you'll be much better. I know of about three. One edits for about half the good writers on here. Ask. "What have you got to loose?" in the immortal words of CSN?
by
Anonymous01/25/17
Wrong category
It is not a Loving Wife story. Belongs in the Mature section.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
WHAT THE FUCK
Why would you copyright this garbage. If I printed it out, it would be used as toilet paper to wipe my ass with. That's the only good thing about it, its just a possible substitute for toilet paper. Nobody in their right mind would steal this, what the fuck is a matter with you? Oh, I know, you're an actual fucking retard. Also you have no claim for copyright on a free public sex story site. The only people who have the right to do that are actual GOOD AUTHORS, which clearly you fall way short of that category. Finally I can take what I want when I want, copyright means nothing to me.
Painful self-disclosure always has innate appeal ( at least initially ) but ...
First I want to give props to author for giving his senior narrator a fairly big chunk in his armour in terms of erectile dysfunction. Doris , his girlfriend, worked hard on maintaining her looks . The narrator apparently felt uncomfortable with unfamiliar supplements or embarrassing consultations with doctors and was ready to forgo normal sex.
These facts didn't auger well when Doris apparently still had an itch with flexible standard of honesty and the inevitable occurred. Awkward. I liked the narrator's forthrightness, decency before, during and after the gotcha' scene. Yet I own a little backhanded sympathy for Doris as well. If you want to live with a tigress , you better be prepared to feed it or the beast will forage elsewhere.
A good looking woman is always receiving overtures of varying intensities . Doris made a human miscalculation and succumbed to temptation in a big way. Shame on her. Yet if the narrator was fully attuned to her , he would have addressed his shortfall. Full disclosure : a major cause of ED is obesity and lack of exercise. It's enough to say a lot of men who hate gyms and sweat persevere with exercise avoid that shortfall.
The narrator wants what he wants in terms of a woman and he's not in a hurry to change his end of the equation. Good luck with that.. He is an honest soul who seems to be generous in other facets of companionship. That's not to be sneered at. Yet Doris doubles down in the gym and in the bedroom. I wonder which one of these fictional characters finds their special someone first.
In terms of the actual story , I find RedTempest as an suthor has definite substance , but the style was unrelentingly straightforward from start to finish. Sometimes your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness. But the narrative didn't dither . Easy,peasy read in terms of patience required. Bonus points because the author told both on Doris and himself.
That honesty is definitely what Doris will miss about the narrator. Hope she learned a lesson. I thank the author for sharing.
Well , no new ground was broken here , but its the only storyline that looks even remotely promising today.
I don't know if you were going for the twist ending , but the Dan and Kevin thing was simply confusing.
I read somewhere a few years ago about the high STD rates among Seniors . I don't know whether that's a really bad thing or not. Well , of course its bad , but it does prove that in this post Viagra world we're living in , the Freak Flag flies longer than ever before ! ( now if only I can live that long )
Well , at least now all the cries of bitter old men in this category finally have a smidgeon of truth in this case , lol .
Grading on the bell curve this should probably rate a 6 ( competition is way low today ) but , I'll grade you up to
4 *'s
by
Anonymous01/25/17
Ya'll take this stuff way too seriously. It's really not a bad story.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
@LSD
Yo, asswipe, it's CHINK in his armor, not CHUNK. Christ you're a fucking moron. Yeah, yeah, RedTempest is almost the second coming of Matt Moreau, right? He's probably puking up his socks right now because you commented on his story.
Payback is a bitch, he finally balanced the scales from when he was playing around with several girls.
Good story but I can't feel sorry for the protagonist.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
4*s
Wow that's some improvement of your writing. Compare this story to your older posts.
Concise, plot moves quickly, enough dialogue and character development to get the emotional development needed for a good story.
Made me wonder if this is the future for many older men , when their wife predeceases them.
Gave you 4*s. A very entertaining short story. Left me wanting to read more😋❗
First, while not horrible, the editing was very poor.
Second, while certainly not impossible, I find the idea of selling his house for $130,000 and buying a condo at half-price for $150,000 unusual, at least.
“I should have gone over there and reclaimed her from Dan, but I figure if I did that, then she would be pissed at me” – You don’t have to go over and “reclaim” her, just go over and join their conversation. If that pisses her off then she’s up to no good and you’re well rid of her.
LOL! Dan’s upset that she’s “cheating” on him with Kevin, and Kevin’s upset that she’s “cheating” on him with Dan! I guess there’s just no honor among thieves.
As I always say: getting rid of a cheating girlfriend it's easy and fast. No lawyers, no divorce papers, nothing! It's enough to say: Get out of my house till the end of the day! And so, an almost 70 years old woman, for some cheap fucks lost the chance to have a companion, a man that loved her and would support her in the difficult times, for the rest of her life! Now she will have to face it alone, with a lot of fuck buddies, sure, but no one to cuddle with her in bed every single night making her fell like a loved human being! 3*
They were not married. After getting burnt,he took the high road and let her reclaim her property at a leisurely time. I would have put her thing out the door in a week of warning her.
by
Anonymous01/25/17
This story serves to show
that girlfriends can never be compared to wives. So wrong category!
but needs to be longer, more character development and emotions always makes better stories.
im no writer but from an avid "loving wives" readers point of view short simple stories are mostly disapointing, the betrayal needs to be brutal the emotions strong and the revenge or reconcilliation believable.
5* for effort though.
Good thing we do not have to have the convocation of an assembly to decide in what category a story will be posted.
I agree that the characters are fairly unadorned and thus decided that it is a flash
story...
after your'e wife dies and you're already hunting for tail?
by
Anonymous01/26/17
Okay Story
Okay story. Not too offended by the editing or lack thereof, so I rate it a 4 star effort for being the best story of today's lot.
Someone commented it is "easy" to get rid of a live in girl friend. Well, how easy depends on where you live. In some counties in California, if your live in girl friend does not want to go, can demonstrate your place is her address (drivers license or gets mail there), then you can't just kick her out if she doesn't want to go. You either have to go to family court to get a court order, or you have to move. So if you own the house or have a long term lease it is not easy at all.
Stories on this site. Man is 65. Hadnt had sex in a long while. EDDBOY just how much life do u think is left in a man who is 65 and of the years left how much will be lost to illness and pain? I am living the life if this character, so I can tell you i dont waste any time on long over adorned conversation and am proposing marriage to my 43 year old girlfriend. Between us we have 8 kids and still find plenty of time for sex and naughty play
by
Anonymous01/27/17
Hard to rate. Better than mediocre, but not much.
A realistic sad plot. She actually thought she loved him? Good thing he flushed her before she brought home an STD. Yeah, its rampant among the aged. Party in a retirement community at considerable risk!
you found out your girl friend is a cheater, join the party. TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous01/27/17
She's obviously been a pig her whole life. Can't understand why people use the sex excuse. You can always do more in many different ways if you love some one. So his dick wasn't as hard as when he was younger, I'm betting her tits saved and her pussy is way more loose than when she was younger. If everyone wanted a bigger dick ,tighter pussy or a new lover all the time than don't become a wife or girlfriend. Make it clear you intentions and some will be ok with that and you won't be a lying cheating scumbag pig.
by
Anonymous01/31/17
Again - once a cheater, always a (just another fucking) cheater.
The stats don't lie and wimps are a dime a dozen. Fuck all the raac authors (especially Javmor the tranny).
by
Anonymous02/15/17
NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
This story really is not what it seems. There is no commitment in this relationship only some companionship. The problem is the lack of communication the cheating slut engaged in. Our hero apparently didn't have any problems using the little blue pill and therefore would have been able to provide the skank with all the sex she wanted, maybe more. But she chose to engage other people outside the relationship which, to a man, is a deathnell to any relationship. Even for a 65 year old man.
English
RedTempest, huh?
There's a blast from the past. You should have used your time away for some writing classes. Barneyr has got to be the absolute worst editor in the history of erotica. This was awful. I can't imagine who would use this clown to edit. Have you ever read one of his stories? They're as bad as this. Dude, get someone decent, please. This reads like you used Google translate or something.
Real and Really Grim
Amazing that no matter how old we get, we never lose the capacity to be stupid, foolish and arrogant. With age comes experience, with experience come knowledge, with knowledge some gain wisdom, and some do not.
BarnyR is a horrible editor, you all say you make changes after he's done his 'magic' but that is a cop out. This was all over the place, too wordy for a short story also rushed.
You need an editor.
Th story doesn't really go anywhere, but it's not that badly written. There are a lot of words missing from sentences and wrong words used - "but" instead of "by" for example, - and no one really needs to know if he withdrew twenty grand from his account to buy the condo or not; it doesn't advance the story nor does it give local color.
You writing does show some promise though - what you really need is more experience and both a content and syntax editor you trust.
Jezzaz giving someone writing advice?
When you write something someone actually reads instead of that Ingram's shit, come back and maybe someone will listen to you, cuckboy.
Thanks***
For the read.
Well, that was... brief.
This is the only thing that could have been worth reading today. I agree with everyone else. The editing was, to be kind, non-existent. One anonymous said that he was giving it a four because, "at least it wasn't a cuckie."
Is that really what people accept? "At least it wasn't that?" So it gets a four? That is supposed to mean, "really liked it, good read." So, it was bad, but not as bad as dog poo, so I give it a four? Sorry, can't go there. I don't like the "cuckie" stories, either, but this isn't good and gets a two for the miserable writing. Like everyone else said, get a good editor and you'll be much better. I know of about three. One edits for about half the good writers on here. Ask. "What have you got to loose?" in the immortal words of CSN?
Wrong category
It is not a Loving Wife story. Belongs in the Mature section.
WHAT THE FUCK
Why would you copyright this garbage. If I printed it out, it would be used as toilet paper to wipe my ass with. That's the only good thing about it, its just a possible substitute for toilet paper. Nobody in their right mind would steal this, what the fuck is a matter with you? Oh, I know, you're an actual fucking retard. Also you have no claim for copyright on a free public sex story site. The only people who have the right to do that are actual GOOD AUTHORS, which clearly you fall way short of that category. Finally I can take what I want when I want, copyright means nothing to me.
Painful self-disclosure always has innate appeal ( at least initially ) but ...
First I want to give props to author for giving his senior narrator a fairly big chunk in his armour in terms of erectile dysfunction. Doris , his girlfriend, worked hard on maintaining her looks . The narrator apparently felt uncomfortable with unfamiliar supplements or embarrassing consultations with doctors and was ready to forgo normal sex.
These facts didn't auger well when Doris apparently still had an itch with flexible standard of honesty and the inevitable occurred. Awkward. I liked the narrator's forthrightness, decency before, during and after the gotcha' scene. Yet I own a little backhanded sympathy for Doris as well. If you want to live with a tigress , you better be prepared to feed it or the beast will forage elsewhere.
A good looking woman is always receiving overtures of varying intensities . Doris made a human miscalculation and succumbed to temptation in a big way. Shame on her. Yet if the narrator was fully attuned to her , he would have addressed his shortfall. Full disclosure : a major cause of ED is obesity and lack of exercise. It's enough to say a lot of men who hate gyms and sweat persevere with exercise avoid that shortfall.
The narrator wants what he wants in terms of a woman and he's not in a hurry to change his end of the equation. Good luck with that.. He is an honest soul who seems to be generous in other facets of companionship. That's not to be sneered at. Yet Doris doubles down in the gym and in the bedroom. I wonder which one of these fictional characters finds their special someone first.
In terms of the actual story , I find RedTempest as an suthor has definite substance , but the style was unrelentingly straightforward from start to finish. Sometimes your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness. But the narrative didn't dither . Easy,peasy read in terms of patience required. Bonus points because the author told both on Doris and himself.
That honesty is definitely what Doris will miss about the narrator. Hope she learned a lesson. I thank the author for sharing.
Geriatric betrayal
Well , no new ground was broken here , but its the only storyline that looks even remotely promising today.
I don't know if you were going for the twist ending , but the Dan and Kevin thing was simply confusing.
I read somewhere a few years ago about the high STD rates among Seniors . I don't know whether that's a really bad thing or not. Well , of course its bad , but it does prove that in this post Viagra world we're living in , the Freak Flag flies longer than ever before ! ( now if only I can live that long )
Well , at least now all the cries of bitter old men in this category finally have a smidgeon of truth in this case , lol .
Grading on the bell curve this should probably rate a 6 ( competition is way low today ) but , I'll grade you up to
4 *'s
Ya'll take this stuff way too seriously. It's really not a bad story.
@LSD
Yo, asswipe, it's CHINK in his armor, not CHUNK. Christ you're a fucking moron. Yeah, yeah, RedTempest is almost the second coming of Matt Moreau, right? He's probably puking up his socks right now because you commented on his story.
@ Apoplectic Anon
Autocorrect giveth and autocorrect taketh away. Relax dude.
Damn
Young. Old. A cheater is a cheater. All should live in pain.
A good story, 5*
He is cheated on, he reacts in the only way he could.
He got her out of his life ASAP.
Boring
Just kind of a boring story.
Karma
Payback is a bitch, he finally balanced the scales from when he was playing around with several girls.
Good story but I can't feel sorry for the protagonist.
4*s
Wow that's some improvement of your writing. Compare this story to your older posts.
Concise, plot moves quickly, enough dialogue and character development to get the emotional development needed for a good story.
Made me wonder if this is the future for many older men , when their wife predeceases them.
Gave you 4*s. A very entertaining short story. Left me wanting to read more😋❗
Amerryman
Thoughts
First, while not horrible, the editing was very poor.
Second, while certainly not impossible, I find the idea of selling his house for $130,000 and buying a condo at half-price for $150,000 unusual, at least.
“I should have gone over there and reclaimed her from Dan, but I figure if I did that, then she would be pissed at me” – You don’t have to go over and “reclaim” her, just go over and join their conversation. If that pisses her off then she’s up to no good and you’re well rid of her.
LOL! Dan’s upset that she’s “cheating” on him with Kevin, and Kevin’s upset that she’s “cheating” on him with Dan! I guess there’s just no honor among thieves.
Getting rid of a cheating girlfriend...
As I always say: getting rid of a cheating girlfriend it's easy and fast. No lawyers, no divorce papers, nothing! It's enough to say: Get out of my house till the end of the day! And so, an almost 70 years old woman, for some cheap fucks lost the chance to have a companion, a man that loved her and would support her in the difficult times, for the rest of her life! Now she will have to face it alone, with a lot of fuck buddies, sure, but no one to cuddle with her in bed every single night making her fell like a loved human being! 3*
More character building.
3*
Good story,belongs in erotic couplings
They were not married. After getting burnt,he took the high road and let her reclaim her property at a leisurely time. I would have put her thing out the door in a week of warning her.
This story serves to show
that girlfriends can never be compared to wives. So wrong category!
5
Good stuff, a nice depiction of tegular faulted people.
ok story
but needs to be longer, more character development and emotions always makes better stories.
im no writer but from an avid "loving wives" readers point of view short simple stories are mostly disapointing, the betrayal needs to be brutal the emotions strong and the revenge or reconcilliation believable.
5* for effort though.
Fascinatng Lawyers on the site
Good thing we do not have to have the convocation of an assembly to decide in what category a story will be posted.
I agree that the characters are fairly unadorned and thus decided that it is a flash
story...
a few months
after your'e wife dies and you're already hunting for tail?
Okay Story
Okay story. Not too offended by the editing or lack thereof, so I rate it a 4 star effort for being the best story of today's lot.
Someone commented it is "easy" to get rid of a live in girl friend. Well, how easy depends on where you live. In some counties in California, if your live in girl friend does not want to go, can demonstrate your place is her address (drivers license or gets mail there), then you can't just kick her out if she doesn't want to go. You either have to go to family court to get a court order, or you have to move. So if you own the house or have a long term lease it is not easy at all.
Now I Know What The Problem Is
This is Loving WIVES, not Loving GIRLFRIENDS
More real than many
Stories on this site. Man is 65. Hadnt had sex in a long while. EDDBOY just how much life do u think is left in a man who is 65 and of the years left how much will be lost to illness and pain? I am living the life if this character, so I can tell you i dont waste any time on long over adorned conversation and am proposing marriage to my 43 year old girlfriend. Between us we have 8 kids and still find plenty of time for sex and naughty play
Hard to rate. Better than mediocre, but not much.
A realistic sad plot. She actually thought she loved him? Good thing he flushed her before she brought home an STD. Yeah, its rampant among the aged. Party in a retirement community at considerable risk!
GOSH O MIGHTY
you found out your girl friend is a cheater, join the party. TK U MLJ LV NV
She's obviously been a pig her whole life. Can't understand why people use the sex excuse. You can always do more in many different ways if you love some one. So his dick wasn't as hard as when he was younger, I'm betting her tits saved and her pussy is way more loose than when she was younger. If everyone wanted a bigger dick ,tighter pussy or a new lover all the time than don't become a wife or girlfriend. Make it clear you intentions and some will be ok with that and you won't be a lying cheating scumbag pig.
Again - once a cheater, always a (just another fucking) cheater.
The stats don't lie and wimps are a dime a dozen. Fuck all the raac authors (especially Javmor the tranny).
NOT WHAT IT SEEMS
This story really is not what it seems. There is no commitment in this relationship only some companionship. The problem is the lack of communication the cheating slut engaged in. Our hero apparently didn't have any problems using the little blue pill and therefore would have been able to provide the skank with all the sex she wanted, maybe more. But she chose to engage other people outside the relationship which, to a man, is a deathnell to any relationship. Even for a 65 year old man.
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