Thank you guys so much! I just want to point out that I'm new to the site, this is my first story and I've got loads of great feedback so far. I'm still getting used to the site and figuring out how everything works but thank you for all the feedback so far :)
I'd also like to point out that this story is entirely fiction and does not represent me or anyone I know and if any of the events mentioned in the story hapen to be true for some people, it is entirely coincidental. Thanks guys :D
Will we see a second story with him taking her cherry
by
Anonymous01/28/17
Couple Quick Thoughts
I enjoy your visual painting you have laid out with words. Please please please please make sure you understand the body before delving into stories about virgins. If you want to do stories about a first time do not make the common mistake of placing the Hymen as an internal object. It is merely the extra skin surrounding the entrance and it doesn't burst or pop and is not filled with liquid. It gets worn away or is torn as soon as it is penetrated. It can even be worn away from non sexual activities like riding a horse, a bike, doing ballet, or gymnastics.
Do you like the idea of monstrously and unrealistic breast sizes? I am asking because I know some prefer that in their stories. It always throws me a bit because I know having a 34 inch bust with D or even DD is rare, so to read about E cups makes me lose a bit of interest. Those are either surgically altered or the 34 is more like 44 and the character is a big girl. I don't mind either scenario, but I was curious about your thoughts on the subject.
It is a great first submission. Most first stories are not that great unless one writes other stories and has experience with creative or professional writing. I look forward to more submissions from you!
by
Anonymous01/29/17
Enjoyed It
I enjoyed it immensely. I also enjoyed how realist her chest size and his dick size were. And don't worry about Anon #1; they don't know anything about boobs. Mine are 32DDD/32E/32F and nothing fake about them at all. 34D and 34DD are really common.
Thank you guys so much, I appreciate all feedback. I just want to point something out though in regards to one of the comments- The breast size is very realistic seeing as the breast size stated in the story is actually my own breast size. I would like to point out that my boobs are 100% real thank you very much xD so no, you're wrong. That breast size can/is a real size. I have heard of women (OBVIOUSLY ITS VERY RARE) having size 40HH natural boobs. Just because they are big doesn't mean they're fake. I am female, I would know
English
Short, sweet, outstanding
Straight to the activity and to the point. And, the promise of more to come. Should be a very erotic series. Loved it. With thanks.
Perfect!
I love the short stories like this! This is perfect!
I should point out a few things
Thank you guys so much! I just want to point out that I'm new to the site, this is my first story and I've got loads of great feedback so far. I'm still getting used to the site and figuring out how everything works but thank you for all the feedback so far :)
I'd also like to point out that this story is entirely fiction and does not represent me or anyone I know and if any of the events mentioned in the story hapen to be true for some people, it is entirely coincidental. Thanks guys :D
One of the better short stories
Will we see a second story with him taking her cherry
Couple Quick Thoughts
I enjoy your visual painting you have laid out with words. Please please please please make sure you understand the body before delving into stories about virgins. If you want to do stories about a first time do not make the common mistake of placing the Hymen as an internal object. It is merely the extra skin surrounding the entrance and it doesn't burst or pop and is not filled with liquid. It gets worn away or is torn as soon as it is penetrated. It can even be worn away from non sexual activities like riding a horse, a bike, doing ballet, or gymnastics.
Do you like the idea of monstrously and unrealistic breast sizes? I am asking because I know some prefer that in their stories. It always throws me a bit because I know having a 34 inch bust with D or even DD is rare, so to read about E cups makes me lose a bit of interest. Those are either surgically altered or the 34 is more like 44 and the character is a big girl. I don't mind either scenario, but I was curious about your thoughts on the subject.
It is a great first submission. Most first stories are not that great unless one writes other stories and has experience with creative or professional writing. I look forward to more submissions from you!
Enjoyed It
I enjoyed it immensely. I also enjoyed how realist her chest size and his dick size were. And don't worry about Anon #1; they don't know anything about boobs. Mine are 32DDD/32E/32F and nothing fake about them at all. 34D and 34DD are really common.
Keep writing.
Thank you!
Thank you guys so much, I appreciate all feedback. I just want to point something out though in regards to one of the comments- The breast size is very realistic seeing as the breast size stated in the story is actually my own breast size. I would like to point out that my boobs are 100% real thank you very much xD so no, you're wrong. That breast size can/is a real size. I have heard of women (OBVIOUSLY ITS VERY RARE) having size 40HH natural boobs. Just because they are big doesn't mean they're fake. I am female, I would know
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