For your first story, you did quite well. Ignore the people who critique you, you've got a good fantasy going, and writing it should be enjoyable to you as much as to anyone else...and if they don't like it, they can read something else.
Its NO WAY a rich women would let her looks or body go. They'd get plastic surgery or trainers & have private chefs. So besides that dumb part about mom & that it's way too short. I can't complain. Though its barely long enough to even start to get you hooked
Don't listen to the haters. This was a good opening and I can't wait to see where it goes
by
Anonymous02/02/17
great start
i love this topic i jack off to it all the time and your story was no exception it had me stroking my cock and needing more plese keep them cumming
by
Anonymous02/03/17
Good start
Many young women have same desire. It does not take much effort to seduce dad. A few "accidental" flashes, leaving strong scented panties is usually enough to achieve objective.
by
Anonymous02/05/17
Some people need to mature.
Giving a critique does not make one a hater. If you believe it does then you are far too young, mentally, to be reading such stories.Telling a writer to ignore critiques is absolutely the worst advice to give. Without critiques or understanding there is an issue will cause a writer to stagnate.
It is a decent beginning and premise. Attempting to justify her future affair with dad is pointless, because cheating is not the fault of the one being cheated on. There is no need to bother delving into that beyond stating mom and dad don't have any physical relationship. Suggestion mom let herself go is weak considering the daughter is judging her based on her teenaged body. It is a fact that gravity works no matter how toned one is at mom's age. Since the story is too short to actually include the incest it would be best served to not include information not pertinent to the central relationship.
It would be better to have a longer story or chapter which doesn't seem to stop short of its purpose. Most people do read for masturbation material, so providing a bit more of the actual incest is always a good idea. I hope to read more of your stories soon.
To those griping about critiques:
There is a difference between telling a writer their story sucks without any reason for the opinion and telling a writer the story is good with a few critiques intended to be helpful.
He seriously has to fuck her senseless and get her pregnant. Kick the wife to the curb and just keep on fucking daughter over and over. Every day, multiple times a day.
English
Great beginning
There were a few typos. A good proofreader would have caught.
Please continue the seduction of Daddy. He does want you!
Please tell more
Waiting for more!
It's good but
I appreciate short stories but regardless at least complete it to the point of
Incest then leave us hanging. Appetizers like these do nothing for me.
Kinda short for a first installment.
Good first submission
For your first story, you did quite well. Ignore the people who critique you, you've got a good fantasy going, and writing it should be enjoyable to you as much as to anyone else...and if they don't like it, they can read something else.
Keep them cumming though ;)
Its NO WAY a rich women would let her looks or body go. They'd get plastic surgery or trainers & have private chefs. So besides that dumb part about mom & that it's way too short. I can't complain. Though its barely long enough to even start to get you hooked
Good start
Don't listen to the haters. This was a good opening and I can't wait to see where it goes
great start
i love this topic i jack off to it all the time and your story was no exception it had me stroking my cock and needing more plese keep them cumming
Good start
Many young women have same desire. It does not take much effort to seduce dad. A few "accidental" flashes, leaving strong scented panties is usually enough to achieve objective.
Some people need to mature.
Giving a critique does not make one a hater. If you believe it does then you are far too young, mentally, to be reading such stories.Telling a writer to ignore critiques is absolutely the worst advice to give. Without critiques or understanding there is an issue will cause a writer to stagnate.
It is a decent beginning and premise. Attempting to justify her future affair with dad is pointless, because cheating is not the fault of the one being cheated on. There is no need to bother delving into that beyond stating mom and dad don't have any physical relationship. Suggestion mom let herself go is weak considering the daughter is judging her based on her teenaged body. It is a fact that gravity works no matter how toned one is at mom's age. Since the story is too short to actually include the incest it would be best served to not include information not pertinent to the central relationship.
It would be better to have a longer story or chapter which doesn't seem to stop short of its purpose. Most people do read for masturbation material, so providing a bit more of the actual incest is always a good idea. I hope to read more of your stories soon.
To those griping about critiques:
There is a difference between telling a writer their story sucks without any reason for the opinion and telling a writer the story is good with a few critiques intended to be helpful.
Nice start...
very nice start....please continue.....
Good start
keep it up ;)
Great Start
I'm really looking forward to the next part.
Amazing...
So far so good... Thank you!
Please continue...
I can't wait for more
Oh , you gotta finish this
He seriously has to fuck her senseless and get her pregnant. Kick the wife to the curb and just keep on fucking daughter over and over. Every day, multiple times a day.
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