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Unexpected

byamorouslion©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous02/09/17

Unexpected gay shit

Why isn't there a gay tag on this? When you have one man gripping your "hairy balls" you come and he milks them, gay shit. Post over there in Gay. They might like it over there. Sydtech must like gay shit, since you got a fav.

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by Anonymous02/09/17

One of the most generic stories I've read

Not very original; same old weak gay/bi stuff that's usually posted in this category. Don't know why it's currently rated at a 4, boggles the mind.

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by Anonymous02/09/17

1*

fag cuck shit.

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by Impo_6402/09/17

What a bad story!

What a bad story! beginning with the details: 1st - "he invited me over for dinner with his family - a beautiful accomplished wife, and two young handsome young teenagers, to socialize with mine" and also "Our families got to know each other"...Then suddenly some lines later he was a widower with no children! Really? 2nd - in the beginning of the story: "Her husband (not his name...?) and I have been good friends for a year now" but then later "her husband" said: "We have been good friends for a long time now" and "For the first time in many years, my eyes glanced at her as she adjusted her clothes..."! After all was it one year friendship or a many years one? 3rd - How could a loving and "acomplished" wife say: "Don't mind him. he has not delivered for a long time."! 4th - In the end his friend from a long time was gay. The question: Was his friend the children father? being so bad 1* is too much

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by Anonymous02/09/17

The husband will soon

find himself divorced and alone! Just a question: where were the children when thir mom was fucking another man? Another @Systech favorite! @Systech rules! But only the bad stories!

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by Anonymous02/09/17

Watch the Details

The kids were teenagers, but suddenly the couple were empty nesters--i.e., both kids at least 18-19 years old.

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NEEDS A LOT OF WORK!

Of course this plot has been overworked--readers who make that compliant know very little about the art of creative writing. Every plot has been used time and again--not my idea, but has been drilled into my skull by several creative writing courses. The difference is made by the twist you add as you make it your own story. You have some very good ideas, but you made a lot of mistakes.

As pointed out by another, you got your story all mixed up. Make up your mind about: how long you knew the neighbor, how many kids do both families have and where are they (if you need them in the picture at all), was this really the first time they flirted?

Anyway, this is the idea. On the plus side, you gave a very good reason for hubby to allow act to take place, you show a man and wife concerned for the other partner's feelings. Maybe you could have developed this aspect more, but since this is your second story you did pretty darn good. Keep writing.

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