There is a big difference between "grabbing her waste" and "grabbing her waist" especially when he is about to fuck her ass. The story is alright, but you should get someone to help with spelling corrections. That will help you immensely in future stories!
One more thought I had was about the pulling out at the end. Even if it was no longer painful, a stuck cock is still stuck and before cumming it is even more swollen. How would he be able to pull out while being even larger right before he cums? Did I overlook something?
If you plan to write about losing virginity then please make sure to not incorrectly place the hymen as an internal sack which pops. It is just the extra thick skin at the entrance which rips upon entering. If you have someone proofread and know the proper location and function of the hymen then I will rate your stories 5 stars. Keep writing.
English
Excellent..
What about the cameras? Didn't he have them on filming?
That will be in the next chapter. . . Thanks for the positive feedback. . .
Is there anything y'all want in the next chapter . . .
Sub-
-literate!
?
Needs editing!
There is a big difference between "grabbing her waste" and "grabbing her waist" especially when he is about to fuck her ass. The story is alright, but you should get someone to help with spelling corrections. That will help you immensely in future stories!
One more thought I had was about the pulling out at the end. Even if it was no longer painful, a stuck cock is still stuck and before cumming it is even more swollen. How would he be able to pull out while being even larger right before he cums? Did I overlook something?
If you plan to write about losing virginity then please make sure to not incorrectly place the hymen as an internal sack which pops. It is just the extra thick skin at the entrance which rips upon entering. If you have someone proofread and know the proper location and function of the hymen then I will rate your stories 5 stars. Keep writing.
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