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Bobbie

byminsue©
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Comments (17)
by Anonymous

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by lucky-E-leven06/28/04

Random Notes

Too little importance is placed on memories, by some. I hope her sweet music lives on in your head. This painful look into a the reality you're facing moved me. Those random notes might not have been organized or recognizable but it's still her music. Though sad, I found it a touching tribute. *hugs* for your Bobbie and you.

~lucky

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by Tathagata06/28/04

poignant

and sad.
you wonder what goes on inside their heads....
I very moving poem min
Thank you

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by Angeline06/28/04

This is beautiful

You've presented this person's descent into the hell of--I assume--Alzheimer's or the like so subtly. There's something in the spare but precise imagery that lends it such delicate insight. It's really well done, girlfriend. :)

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by WickedEve06/28/04

the content

is very moving.

I like to make a suggestion, if you don't mind. I think it may help to remove a few words.

In stanza one, I'd drop "slowly" since shuffling already implies slow movement.

And in stanza two, perhaps there are too many descriptive words for hands: gnarled, stiff, fragile, thin. I really think it would be an improvement to drop one of them. For example:
Stiff hands,
fragile and thin.

In the third stanza, I'd use either "finally" or "haltingly". Both seem to be a bit much.

As I said, suggestions only--very minor ones.

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by doormouse06/29/04

Beautiful

Touching words.
A true piece of art. ;-)

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by tarablackwood2206/30/04

Here...

...is your tenth vote, Min, because this poem deserves it. I thought I voted on it already, but I never vote without leaving a comment. Perhaps, I just saw it on the 'passion thread.' It's beautiful, and I also think that Eve's suggestions are quite valid. :kiss:

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by Anonymous07/01/04

I cried

there are too many such. God will have his black jokes

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by cheerful_deviant07/01/04

Touching

Another great work from minsue. Very touching for those who have seen the mind of someone they cared for fade away. Well done.

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by damppanties07/06/04

Simple, direct...

... and straight to the heart. Lovely.

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by Anonymous09/07/04

dang!

i thought i commented on this too..ages ago.

well..better late then never.

sorry hun, i try to hit the poems that come in everyday..if i miss them..i miss everyones.

last time i was here..there was only a couple posted.

at any rate..lovely stuff min!

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by Edward Teach12/08/04

So much

said in so few words. Very touching.

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by LadyJeanne03/06/05

Wow

This is amazing. Sad, resigned, a bleak reality poignantly expressed so clearly. Wow. Thank you, LJ.

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by Honey12304/19/05

~ ~

Sharp images with your words here,Min...life's little cruel jokes, huh?

~Honey

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by ravenmx08/30/05

Hits the heart

And saddens for one who can relate.

Very nicely done.

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by LeBroz12/05/06

~~

An Alzheimer's hell
Is not as bad for those with the disease
{they don't remember what they've lost};
The true hell's for those who remember
What the victims used to be.

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by LeBroz03/17/07

~~

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.



----------

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by tazz31708/01/12

JUST THINK AND VISUALIZE

who could be in her band of demons. TK U MLJ LV NV

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