Trish

Dialogue

Sixteen year old boys don't talk like that (or even think like that). It put me off the rest of the story. It just seemed fake from then on. 3*

Good Job

Sixteen year old boys may not talk like that but you did a great job of portraying the mechanics & emotion of 'Making Love' to a real, amazing 'not so much "older" woman' that you care about. Good job. I gave you a 5. Keep writing.

The Dream

Of every virgin boy!

read it!

It wasn't until I reached the age of 18 that I discovered that she was more than a nice attractive lady. She was downright sexy.

****

Intelligent guys talk like that too. By intelligent I mean being aware, and your character is certainly that, but not beyond what other smart young guys are capable of being and thinking. Good job.

Skirt?

I'm sorry, you lost me when you said she was gardening in a short skirt. NO women I know would be working outdoors in ANY KIND of skirt! They would be wearing jeans or shorts.

@sbrooks103x: Well, if you had bothered to read a little further you would have learned that she wore that skirt not for the comfort of gardening, but for quite another purpose - and besides I do believe there actually are a few women in this world that you happen not to know too well.

As for the story it felt a little rushed. It would have gained from having a little more of teasing and the young man's imagination, lust and fantasies in between before the couple got down to the practical stuff.
(I accidentally clicked 5*, byut because of what I just said, it should have been a 4.)