Moving On

Ehhh

This woman needed more pain, she was a selfish nasty cunt who only came around after the fact.....

I understand the need to present an ending to the original...

I understand the writer's need to present an ending to the original...This is a good story and a good ending, but both stories just let out something: I really don't belive (or at least don't want to believe) that any man would let his sons to be in contact with a junkie for some days much less 4 years. For the sake of his children he had to divorce and get custody. No judge would deny that. However I liked the story...4*

Good Story

About a sensitive subject which I call the Big Shark;;;; There are always bigger fish in the pond..... and you really can not say that you are number 1 and this leaves you vulnerable like Pete.

Nice, but not likely

A nice story about personal growth and the ability to change. It is a great fantasy, but look around you, how many people are there out there that you can say have this ability and have used it? From my experience people only change when they have to change. In the case of a cheating wife, they are more likely to continue to justify than to change. Change takes strength, and character - two things that all cheaters lack. It also takes the ability to see yourself honestly, another thing foreign to a person that lies to themselves and those around them. Oh, and her giving a shit about her husbands happiness, not at all likely. Nice try.

pretty good, but a bit unusual compared to what you generally see posted.

story? good. writing? not good.

i wanted to get engaged with this story and looked forward based on the set up. the problem was your style. you meandered and i found myself skipping ahead because so much seemed repetitive or not essential.

I thought this was a very unusual story

I mean that in a good way. It was a compelling look at personal growth and the challenges faced, met and conquered. Not just the usual. Very well written and edited. Congratulations on a fine piece of writing. Full marks.

Pete was to much of a wimp to be a husband, as Betty will decide unless she wears the pants

2* your attempt did nothing for the story, going to be a rough life for the boys coming from such dysfunctional parents

Interesting Story

Can't say that I cared for the writing style. Also mad at Pete for his cuck fantasy that apparently started the whole mess.

good story

Don't listen to the mindless haters. This is a good story. Yes it is a little disjointed, but your characters grew more in two pages than in most of the 10 page stories on this site. Great job, keep writing.

A useless Story!!!

Never extend a closed story!!!

Very original story

This was not the usual cheating and revenge or hotwife story we see here every day. It was creative and thoughtful and I liked it.

It was extremely well written, too. Trust me, I'm an English teacher. I wish my college literary magazine writers were this good. Thanks for the story and for using that big brain to entertain us. Randi.

zzzz

long-winded apologetic wimpy crap. as expected from a pompous, boring author. *

poor thing!

it's all that Evil seducer's fault!!!

@ blackrandl1958

yeah, well written. and supremely wordy.

That was different

I guess one could look upon this as a caricature of people who allow their fantasy life fuck up their real ones until they're in ruins.
Kind of a modern day Greek tragedy .

Boring, indeed

You took an interesting premise and sucked the life out of it with unending explication. The only action and dialogue were truncated by her passing out. Please discuss with your editor(s) the concept of show vs. tell. I believe it would have helped this mess considerably. That said, thanks for putting forth the time and effort to entertain the faceless readers. It is appreciated.

Negative comments

See all these negative anonymous comments? Whet we have here is a hater. Jilted lover? Spurned former editor? These are, obviously, all the same person. They are using an onion browser to make multiple anonymous comments, flaming on this story. It was a very good story, by the way. I gave it a five.

Well . . .

. . . it was a nicely and sensitively written epilogue, although a bit too wordy for my tastes. Thankfully, only two pages. Thanks for the effort. 4*

DOING WHATS WRONG

is usually blamed on selfishness, greed and covetnous actions, TK U MLJ LV NV

BEYOND STUPID ....waaaay beyond

Looking at this just from the aspect of a good story this is beyond wretched. It's so bad it's almost offensive. WHY the FUCK would anyone want to write a sequel / follow-up to the original story which was just a pile of unrealistic irrational crap?

The original story is a catastrophic failure because not only does the cunt whore wife take up with another man ... but Tyler (the other man ) uses information about the husband / wife marriage to cause extreme pain and cruelty to the husband.... and the wife said nothing.

The original story was not about the wife having a sexual urges that her hsuabdn cannot meet.

The original story was about a wife who went to WAR to crush her husband.

The original story is a catastrophic failure because is no possible rational reason why Pete... husband ... even after driving Tyler away ...would then decide to take the cunt whore wife back and attempt counseling and save the marriage.

Interesting, thanks for posting.

Difficult read

The story just didn't flow well. I constantly found myself going back and re-reading passages, trying to understand the points you tried to make or see the dots you tried to connect. While I appreciate the effort in trying to finish an unfinished story, this just didn't work for me. Jess's sense of entitlement and Pete's lack of a backbone made them unsympathetic characters and, in the end, I just didn't care what happened to either of them.

Thanks! You saved me from spending good money on a worthless story.

Timid self-doubting cowardly males like Pete are an embarrassment to civilization. Pete's entire life is one of reaction, regression, and good fortune at the kindness of strangers. If Jess still wanted him she would still have him. If Betty didn't want him he would stay single and useless unless some other kind woman showed pity on him. Pete is a blemish on the gene pool.

Just like Tyler. Although you can't blame Tyler for stupid vain cruel women who see him as an opportunity to trade up, at least regarding their sex lives. Tyler is just a different form of opiate, a drug that makes you feel incredible, as it saps the life out of your body and the virtue out of your soul. Don't blame the drug, blame the addict. If it wasn't the Tyler variant of this sickness, it would be some other beautiful well-hung seducer. Jess was primed, all she needed was that first injection, then she was hooked. In previous times Tyler would have been crippled or dead before he could wreak the havoc he bestowed, before the age of the SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guys). Tyler will eventually be paroled, early, and continue to seduce and destroy, until someone finally applies the appropriate insecticide. It can't be too soon.

But Jess's main mistake was not falling for Tyler, it was settling for Pete when she married him. Men like Pete have so little strength of character that they need it to be supported by women like Betty. Pete's cock was too small for Jess, and Jess's virtue was too inadequate for Pete's sexual perversion and temerity. When Pete suggested Jess seek pleasure from other men she should have horse laughed him, then scolded him for being such a stupid boy. She is correct in realizing that despite the love and affection, she never respected Pete. I suspect Betty only affectionately pities him.

Pete ends up with Betty. Let's hope Jess ends up with a man who can understand and respect her new self as much as he understands and respects his role as husband, not merely companion, or enabler. Jess doesn't need a man to let her fly free, she needs a man who will fly with her. I hope she finds him, and has the courage to embrace his strength and confidence.

Again, very thought provoking. Thank you for saving me from even considering reading the original story; gross. 50 Shades of Humiliation.

Thank you.

And thank you for allowing anonymous comments. That takes sand.

This story was a bit of a conundrum.

Many comments declare it well written, and others say it was really poorly written. I was struck by how descriptive and precise the words were when I began the story. By the end, I was skimming along, picking a word here or there to get the gist. What that means to me is the words were very well chosen, the punctuation and spelling were near perfect, but something was missing. What was that?

Thinking back, I would say it lacked action, interaction, and reaction. It was very passive. The words were first rate. It was extremely good, technically. The problem was the words just didn't have much of a story to tell, try as they would. They battled for space and influence, often describing the same emotion several different ways when just one would have been enough. I see a rare talent here. The writer just needs to find a clear path and faster journey through the forest of big words.

I also freely admit that the writer may well be writing above the level of many of us readers. It could simply be that her talent exceeds our ability to appreciate it.

Ouch

Sad, dark and a little sweet at the end.

Not bad.

Well, confusing "kindness" with

"please lie, cheat, and stomp the shit out of me and I'm still going to take you back" is mostly the definition of "total wimp."

Technically well-written, but involving characters who were worthless. Like castle built on sand.

Thank you.

That story worked really well.

Good story, different than the usuall .

You can write. To bad he was a wimp. Please keep writing. 5 for me.

Feeling and content

Well done, thank you.

definitely dark

depressing also comes to mind. But it puts all the twists and turns to rest without a reconciliation.

I'm glad you took it upon yourself to bring the previous work to a conclusion and end it on a high note.

Thanks***

For the read.

I enjoyed it

If I understand correctly the original story is for sale? And it's clearly a cuckold stroke story of the highest order, but it seems several commenters have read it. Did they buy it? Why, if they don't have a cuckolding fetish? I can understand hate-reading someone like Xleglover who puts out free material, but not forking over money just to raise my blood pressure. Especially Harryinvirginia, who I happen to like. Why buy this? I'm really curious.

WTF was that pile of steaming shit

you can also eat my used condoms

REALISTIC, SAD. GOOD STORY

Good story

Yawn inducing repetitive bullshit.

Response to Comments

Thank you to all readers who have taken the time to read and give feedback. Here's my response https://goo.gl/iAJyGn.