All Comments on 'Schoolgirl Meets Rock Guy'

..that was like reading stereo instructions. Except shorter, and even more boring.

This was kind of OK, but the dialog is terrible. It reminds me a lot of my own first drafts. You should focus on the actual sex a lot more (assuming you have some personal experience to go on) and work to make the dialog more believable. Also, if you're not a girl, it's really hard to put yourself in a girl's head. You might find it easier to write in pure third person (rather than telling us how she felt) and let her feelings come through in her reactions and dialog. That way, the reader interprets it, so a guy reading it might have the same ideas you do, but a girl reading it might have a different idea of what's going through her head - but both work for each reader.

Wait, wtf? I didn't expect anyone to read this, let alone comment on or "favourite" it. It's just something I relate to a lot and have been thinking about lately. I just figured I should put my ideas on paper. If you don't like it, I don't fucking care, it's not for you it's for me.

Fuck the naysayers

Writing is personal- and you will get better with each story

I liked it. Like it was one of my fantasies before about a favorite band. Thank you for this

Poorly written and the dialogue was just awful.

Why publish it in the first place? If it was only for yourself to read, why not just keep it in your own personal notes / documents so that no one else has access to it? You can disable the comments section if you don't want to hear any kind of feedback on this, you know.

Also--if you don't care about other people's opinions, why make the effort to make a comment about it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Sarah deeply regretted not joining her best friend for the awesome sex."

Wait, there was something awesome about it?

Yeesh.