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English
having shared...
..moments like this with my own daughter, i could relate.
made me smile, very nice hun. xo,
Fine...
...stuff, DM. Your poetry is blooming and showing a stronger feel all the time. Keep it coming!
good stuff
I like it, but I'd like it even better if you reworked a few of your line breaks. I think lengthening some of them would give it a smoother read.
Nice nostalgia
Very good display of that childhood magic.
I have a soft spot
for carousel horses..in my back yard beneath 6 feet of dirt!! no seriously, this is a good poem, especially these lines
she rides alone
amongst a rigid herd
but, in the final stanzas, you really overuse the word face and faces, it takes away from the rest of the poem, otherwise very enjoyable read :)
~~
It has the feel of young minds and short attention spans, filled with the excitement and wonder of the carousel.
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