It Can't Happen To Me Pt. 01

Set up is ok

Now to see where you take it from here.

Author Built Up the Tension Very Well in First Act

One small cut after another gradually building up until the wife thinks you're synonymous with the door mat. No kids and she must make good money as a nurse , so this parting is easier then many.

One nitpick is when you merely 'say' my wife is best friend / soulmate but SHOW how she is indifferent, stingy and non- reciprocative in BR and then follow up with betrayal where alleged soulmate/ BFF is whoring it up for obnoxious, musclebound badboy , it makes reconciliation a very long row to hoe if author wants to keep that a feasible option for max dramatic tension.

Overall I appreciate the setup. The narrator almost got violent but ultimately kept his cool, vented through shouting and decisively taking steps to end marriage where he was treated like a chump. He works hard , maintains his body and health with gym. I would wager Tim can replace Pam easier then vice-versa.

Sane hard working men 40 and up are in shorter supply then their female counterparts as evidenced by the amount of mouth-breathing, emotionally stunted anons that abound here in Literotica Comment sections.

Tspank61 told simple story , but told it from the heart. Works for me. I thank the author for sharing.

Gave it a 5*..

On the proviso that you don't loose the plot. So far so good.

It Was Ok

Story was ok for now. Just hope in a future chapter that Brad the asswipe has a heap of shit piled very deep on him. My guess is they will reconcile with many changes going forward. We'll see.

Will only score this when I see you don't turn it into a cuck bullshit story.

OK but

Ok story but did we really need to read about him crying three times in one page? Please don't turn this into a RAAC or BDSM thing next chapter after all that....

I'm just saying

If you go for reconciliation, I'm going to come back and give you 1 star.

I'm hoping you don't go for that. I mean, how could there be reconciliation? She denied her husband sex, while cheating on him with another man. All those years of loyalty and hard work for their marriage got shat on.

why set a scene in one page and stop for the next page?

1* remember dead wives tell no lies

I understand the cheated on person crying, but the cheater?

If they didn't care enough about their partners to not cheat, they aren't going to care enough to cry when they get found out.

@LSD

Are you trying for supercilious twit? What you manage is tedious and pretentous. Most comments that relate to you seem to point out the fact that you're nothing but an ass. Your sole purpose for existing is to write paeans to your own conceit. You're, actually, a very inconsequential man. Piss off, doggy boy.

All you do is shit on people who actually contribute something to this site.

@ anonymous, "Doggy boy." Now that's funny!

Got to admit it has a certain ring! I think I'll adopt it. You don't mind do you, Anonymous?

You set it up. That's the easy part. Now you have to come in with the killer finish. Not sure why this needs two chapters, unless part two blows and you wanted to set everyone up. I'll save my score. If it blows, I'll come back and bomb this one, too.

@ my little stalker anon fan

Sorry. I don't break stride for mouthbreathers . If your iq broke double digits , you'd know that by now.Try to learn to deal with being treated with same derision you anons collectively give to amateur writers. Or don't. That's enough of a personalized cretin call out for now. Check you mid-March ish maybe. Take the last word here till then. Enjoy it. It would never happen in real world. Trust me on that.

LSD

Lord doggy boy, you really are a sad sad man.... Now threatening anonymous just because they point out what we all think....... How empty your life must be lord loser..... Yes, we are laughing at you........

Lord Doggy boy!

It's going viral! Maybe someday you'll be as big as Systech24. Good luck on your run for the crown!

Interesting start.

What a titanic bitch!

Hope your hero gets some serious payback and fulfillment.

Hope your evil whore gets what's coming to her and the idiot she was with as well.

Got my interest. Lets see what you do with it.

Sounds like the start of a beautiful RAAC,

Will wait to vote.

A good, 5* start

Let's see what Tim's morning brings.

Holding the score till the last chapter

Everyone knows it isn't a story till it's finished. Until then it's just a writers babbling s

What I don't understand...

What I don't understand: Why in hell does this need a part 2? Their marriage is dead! he had decided to leave...Will part 2 be about his revenge on both of them? I don't think he is man to get a revenge on her. Who cares about what her lies will be trying to explain what has no explanation? I think that part 2 will only serve to destroy the story...We'll see...3* for now

This was short and contained the

standard cheating wife fare. Lately writers have been telling readers how the wife quotes from the "cheater's handbook", which is simply the writer's method of warning us that even more clichés are coming our way. There was no reason to break this into chapters since it is so short. It takes no special skill to start a story with a cheating wife and that's all this is. You could have written this chapter like this; "I caught my wife cheating, stay tuned for chapter two!"

Also how they met 33 years ago had zero bearing on the story. Finally, why is he sad to lose a woman that has no interest or affection for him? You write how devastated he is, yet you describe a situation where the husband should be relieved as he gladly heads down the road.

BOO BOO

Cry us all a river as we have anotherB.T.B story.

Nice warm up

The situation has appeared in several stories lately. Basically it argues that when she stops giving it to you, it is time to hire a PI. She set herself up nicely with, "It was just sex" but He kept his lack of sex in reserve.... That could have gone many places and probably will in the next round.

not good. not bad. "Meh"

this is the toughest category because you really need to explain the emotional torment the main character goes through. you need to explain the crash in his life and world view.

infidelity, contrary to what the btb crowd thinks, is not always fatal for a relationship. you need to draw that out. is he really really religious and she sinned against god? did his parents do it? did the same thing happen to his brother? sister?


and why is losing weight causing her to cheat? because she could get a stud in the sack? that means she was unhappy at home? or that she settled 30 years ago? she wasn't always fat so she COULD get the buff bods earlier. did she?


did she do things with the young guy she wouldn't do with ner husband and he is offended at the lack of trust and intimacy and respect?


give me a reason to want to read chapter 2. and get an editor.

NEVER SAY 'it cant" "happen" "& me:"

in the same sentence, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thoughts

@sdc97230 – You took the words right out of my mouth! If her marriage meant so much that she cries at her cheating being discovered, she wouldn’t cheat!

@Harddaysknight – Right on! There is no need for dating history unless it has some direct bearing; maybe she was seeing other guys and blowing off his concerns, foretelling her future infidelity.

@bruce22 – “It was just sex” is particularly hurtful when he isn’t getting any!

Oral is a two-way street, if she doesn’t like to give it she shouldn’t get it!

Sex is a chore, but she can get it elsewhere? And does all the things she wouldn’t do with him?!

They always seem to cheat with the guy that they find “obnoxious!” If you’re going to cheat and risk your marriage, wouldn’t you do it with someone that you like?

I agree that this should be finished now. Maybe he's waiting to see the comments and tailor the outcome to fit?

He should have snapped some pictures to send the kids!

2 chapters? really?

YOU HAD TO DIVIDE A 2 PAGE STORY IN 2 FUCKING CHAPTERS?

you'd deserve 1* just for that but I'll wait to see the end. even if it's pretty much done as it is.

Is this a loss for him

She has real issues that he should be happy to get away from. As cold as she is, once over shock of cheating I hope he will see that she is a bad person who did not care about him.

Waiting

Well what are you going to do?

Not really a comment, more like a question for some of the commenters.

I see some of the same names over and over bashing the authors in this category and often bashing each other. I'm sure many of the "anonymous" are frequent flyers as well.

So my question is, If you hate the way these stories are often written, hate to read each others' opinions, and perhaps even hate each other, why are you keep subjecting yourselves to more?

Should there be a category "Masochists Who Love Cliche Loving Wives Stories"?

@UnintendedConsequences

*(the sound of applause and loud cheering)*

@UnintendedConsequences

Because when we see a story that ISN'T cuck we're so relieved that we give it a chance.

Then we see a story come to climax at the end of ONE page (counting unneeded back story) and get ticked off.

This is a decent, if formulaic story, that should have been completed in one part.

@Sbrooks103x

(I should have just added this to the previous comment, ah well..)

I 'ditto' generally everything you said including comments to other commentators.
You picked out all the issues I was considering about this story, I will await to see where the author is taking this one. I gave the setup 5* as it was well crafted and set the stage decently. The story could have ended there (but would only be a 3* as the dramatic tension is generally left with nowhere to go but our imaginings). So I gave it 5* for stage-setting, but reserve the right to savage it later if it goes badly awry (like into whiney "why didn't you have him whip my ass too?" turf).

Well, I don't hate it. Five Stars.

It's been a good morning, and so I went with five stars. It's a fun beginning. No real issues. I think the Our Hero should just go and start a new life after the divorce and move on. Women and Men do crazy thing cause their bored. It's the ones with integrity and heart that control themselves, or at least communicate their needs to their committed partners. If there's to be a "Part 2" the story should come from Pam's side and her misery in trying over and over and over again for reconciliation, but in vain the damage she's caused is to great for her to fix. Don't get me wrong. I'm not for a BTB story either, but there are scales for balance and laws for justice in every situation. Call it Karma if you want, call it consequences. I call it rewards, like gold stars. And, Pam gets five for her flare in cruelty.

Boring

A dull paint-by-numbers story with cardboard characters. I nodded off twice trying to read it.

As all the other readers

I hope the writer won't ruin this story. It's a good one until now.
But I have a bad feeling because @peteswick and systech24 favorited it! Both rule in favoriting garbage stories! Do they know how this will end?

coudn't be more erotic...

I guess or did you missunderstand the title of this page ? it's literotic not garbage.com

Lighten Up

Man the comments, its early people give the story a chance. To TSpank61 keep going its fine so far, don't get down because of these impatient people.

Mediocre start

I didn't understand why she answered the phone or why he waited outside for her? What did that accomplish? This was an average start to a BTB story. We'll see where it goes.

Brad

Needs a Solid Ass Whipping. After the Divorce is Final. He should have taken pics to show their kids.

Oh My God!

Don't you know anything? Jack Daniels isn't a Bourbon! Jim Beam is a Bourbon. Jack Daniels is a whiskey! Think geographically. Kentucky is Bourbon. Tennessee is whiskey. Maryland is Rye. (Yuck) My wife and I went to the Jack Daniels distillery for a tour. I thought we'd get a free sample. No way! The distillery is in a dry county! Talk about feeling cheated!

Now about the story...

You sure got shit on in the comments didn't you? Even HDK gave you a hard time. When he gets you the whole 'pack' follows. Don't worry about it. Just get part two out quickly. Don't be like Girl in the Moon. We've been waiting for her part two of "IF" for two months.

My only complaints so far are, first you loaded nearly all the back 'back story' up front. I don't know how many times I've read the classic "there was a gap in the curtains". And honestly, I don't know anybody who goes to a gym with their wife. Hell, I don't know many people who go to gyms anyway. (Well one of my daughters did for a while, but she got tired of being hit on and stopped.)

Now go on and try to figure out if this is a BTB or an RAAC. Doesn't matter, either way you're going to get your ass smeared. Just remember, no happy semen slurping cuckolds. (Oh I was so pissed. I wanted to go in and watch the guy fuck my wife's ass.)

I fived this by the way, but I five almost everybody. Writing shit like this is hard work.

Jedd Clampett

What more is there to do?

Obviously there is more to do (e.g,, some explanation of why and the actual divorce), but by that I mean I really can't see the reason of just doing the story all at once. The why and divorce should take very little.

The fear is that the divorce is not going to happen and this is going to erode into a forced RAAC crap. The usual cliche would be that really did like the spanking, but thought he would put off by it so, rather than talking to him about her feelings she looked elsewhere, little realizing she had pretty much cut him off.

That's a cliche, not a story.

If that's where you're going you might want to save yourself a lot of grief and don't bother. That kind of forced and phony reconciliation usually does not go over too well.

Reconciliation stories can be good, if they make sense. You set up a story where there is no sane reason for a reconciliation. If there is one, it would be contrary to everything you set up and would be a lie.

Yeah... JD meets the regulatory criteria to be called a bourbon, the company just calls it whiskey. Whoopdi-doo.

Nice start, just ignore the peanut gallery and finish the story.

2*

You made a normal man a dumb ass wimp.
2nd page got better. He grew balls.

MCPO Jim

My God, 42 comments already?

Testimony to the strength of your narrative! IGNORE EVERYONE and finish this story the way your own integrity requires. It's a good one, and obviously, readers can feel what your narrator feels. These stories are partially purgational and partially fearful, but always informational (about what one would feel in such circumstances, or what one can imagine one would like to feel, whether ruthlessly vengeful or perversely gratified). Ignore the BTB moralists who fancy themselves moralists and finish it as feels right to YOU! Then we can all learn something about sexual desire and marital infidelity. Some of us, anyhow.

Good start but

How do you pull out of this nose dive after you set it up for divorce? Thirty plus years together, best friends, etc and then a loss of interest in sex. OK, with children I can see work taking care of children slowing down a sex drive. Hormones and change of life and weight gain will diminish her self esteem as well but, to almost totally give up on her husband even though he takes the time to go to the gym with her and then she cheats? The confrontation outside of Brads place was a real situation but, after that you are stuck with any reasonable reconciliation and a divorce without some drama and without Brad getting severely crushed seems like a one paragraph ending that could have been added to this Pt 01. Well written so far but, it seems like you wrote yourself into a corner for there to be a believable outcome. I'll rate this after I see where you going with the story.

Thanks for the read so far,

Bubba

Good Job

Ignore the squid, you made someone lose weight in your story. That's sacrilege in his world.

Thanks

@carvohi - I have gone my whole life thinking JD was bourbon. My research shows you are correct, it is not! Thank you.

To all those that liked the first part of this story, I appreciate your positive feedback.

To those that hated it, I thank you for your criticism (constructive or otherwise).

For those that care to read more, I will get the rest out as soon as life allows.

5*

The story was not perfect but few stories are. The critiques are what is laughable. Does anyone really care about whether Jack Daniels is whiskey or bourbon? Does this affect the story? I belong to a gymn and go 3-5 times a week after 7:00 PM and on weekends. There are many couples, husbands and wifes, from their 30's to their 60's who go to the gymn (actually a wellness center with all the equipment and classes and trainers) regularly together. Really does it matter to the story any way.

O K was the story original? Probably not so far and probably won't be when finished but if there were only original plot lines allowed we would have no stories on the website esp in LW. It appears that most of the critics just gripe with no intention of providing constructive criticism. If they can do better they should go for it and open themselves up for attack. Therefore, I say to you, the story was well written and kept my interest and I thank you for taking your time to write it. I look forward to the next chapter.

anon.1

Idiotic cuck shit!!! MINUS 5*!!!

She cheated and he scrams! And thats your story??

Good Read***

Thanks for sharing!