All Comments on 'Connie's Betrayal'

by michaellajones

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  • 240 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

Way too wordy. Gave up before page 1 ended.

kimi1990kimi1990about 7 years ago
False bravado

So badly written as to be laughable. First to third person without even a notice, a first person narrator knows what others are thinking, an almost total lack of understanding of punctuation, cardboard cutout characters, interminable set up and a cheap pop at then end. Not for me; I skimmed after the second page.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
I agree with Kimi

Way to many words in this story. Most of them didn't say anything that advanced the story. Dull, dull, and then, bang. The last page should have been the second page. The wife was just a cartoon character and the other characters were Italian stereotypes. I quit after the first page and just read the end.

chytownchytownabout 7 years ago
Good Read****

You story was a very long winded but very enjoyable Maybe an editor would help. Thanks for sharing.

SystemShockSystemShockabout 7 years ago
Way too wordy

You could've easily done this in two pages. Way too much time devoted to side characters that didn't really mean anything, and too much of the husband pretending everything was fine with the wife. And then there's that ending. All that sizzle for such a tiny little steak; not at all worth reading through five pages of largely pointless filler.

I won't even get into the so-so quality of the writing itself; I think Kimi covered that rather well.

Gave it a 2 because I feel kinda cheated after reading it. Wish I could have my time back. You very nearly got a 1 when you had Terri say that Connie "deserved" a chance to explain herself and Sal immediately relented. Why did she "deserve" a chance? For being faithful all the years before her "mistake"? Well Sal was faithful the entire time and what did that get him?

Like I said, that very nearly made me drop a 1 on the story. But by that point there wasn't much of the story left and all other signs still pointed to him ridding himself of the parasite, so I kept reading. Lackluster as the ending was, it was still better than RAAC, so I tacked on another star.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Pastiche

poorly constructed, poorly formulated, poorly articulated, poorly researched. A cheap and unconvincing copy of a typical US submission in this genre. An adolescent fantasy predicated on 'macho man' responses. No redeeming features whatsoever. Unworthy of the readership.

tazz317tazz317about 7 years ago
IF PEOPLE ONLY UNDERSTAND BRUTALITY

that is the coin of the realm you pay them with. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
It was a great story...

...but it lost must with first to third person and without regard to past, present or future tense. Punctuation, often times lax on Lit, actually made the story difficult to follow at times.

That being said, I learned my friends all knew of my cheating wife. Rather than listen to her excuses, I left town. Five years later I heard she had given up waiting and had divorced me. She remarried within a year and here is the funny thing. That old adage about once a cheater always a cheater? From what I understand, she has been true to her husband, never straying. They had three kids, already graduated from college now, while I never remarried.

My friends? I never spoke to them again. My ex, the same thing even though she stopped by my work about ten years after our divorce and I refused to see her.

Message taken.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Taser

In the story he was shot with a taser while he penetrated her. That would mean she got the electric shock too through his penis, which must have hurt a lot. The writer missed that!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Kimi Is Wrong

Well kimi........i've watch you slaughter others stories and yet see nothing as far as you contributing any stories. What a pussy.......and a superficial human.

MaFreplerMaFreplerabout 7 years ago
Some suggestions

First, practice your writing. Particularly, learn the differences between first and third person. It doesn't pay to switch between the two. Second, get an editor. Third, do some reading on women, and why they do what they do. "I bought his line of bullshit" is not a reason that women cheat. That's just the author's excuse for the story. You need to come up with a more realistic premise.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
An example of POV probelms.

"Grabbing his overnight bag he strode towards the garage. Breathing a huge sigh of relief I slid the key in" is a direct quote. It can't be both "he" and "I" when talking about the same person. In first person, you cannot reveal the thoughts of others after you leave the room.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
4*s

I liked it. A classic cheat and revenge story.

It seems that the female writers from England are much less accepting of betrayal than the male writers💂🔫🇱🇴🇱❗

Well written dialogue. Consistent behavior by the characters. The emotional connection with your protagonist Sal is strong. I readily identified with him !

An editor (editors) is needed. Those errors didn't detract from the story. Gave you 4*s🎭 !!

Michaellajones, I hope you continue this with a second part. I would like to read more about Sal, his family, and new woman. A couple of different women mentioned in this story could be dating material for Sal, lol. It may be romance or continue as lovingwife,sic.

Thank you for the read😃.

AMerryman

0zed0zedabout 7 years ago
Great Story

A little too long, but a good read none the less!

Xzy89c1Xzy89c1about 7 years ago
Good read

Loved the italian aspect.

ken philipsken philipsabout 7 years ago
What a godawful story featuring the most disgusting criminal as the main character

This does not belong in Loving Wives. Your so-called hero is nothing more than a completely utterly disgusting criminal creep. Why couldn't the misogynist arsehole just divorce her? Oh no, he had to carry on with his criminal violence. He should be in jail, & if the author truly believes in this crap, she/he needs psychiatric help. If I could give a minus score, i would.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Tiresome

I got bored with this angry rant. Not erotic and not entertaining.

💥 Pow

🌬 Blows

🍝 Spaghetti

SyrustheVirusSyrustheVirusabout 7 years ago

Don't listen to the haters, they are just mad because you didn't include a scene with the main character sucking cum out of the cheating bitch.

Great job!

ScorpioJJScorpioJJabout 7 years ago
Ken Philips sits in a chair

Watching his wife having sex with her lover and will do nothing because he is a pussy! "Now dear, you shouldn't do that. If you don't stop, I will have to divorce you...If that's ok with you dear..."

Huedogg2Huedogg2about 7 years ago
Damn fine story

Don't let the anger and descent of those little cuckolds bother you. Cuckold would never and I mean never understand any thing other than slurping their wife's lovers cum. 5 stars

SimepopSimepopabout 7 years ago
Great BTB story

You nailed it Dude! Great BTB STORY, something only Italians or southern rednecks would understand. My wife screws around, she's a slut pure, plain & simple; & she & the other guy are going down as hard & fast as possible as consistent with me staying out of jail. But this being said, you could use an editor, you changed POV at least 4 times, rather disconcerting, breaks up the rhythm of the narrative.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Need a good editor

The premise wasn't the worst presented in LW stories.

And considering the number of stories (most scoring quite well) written by the author, this effort is somewhat disappointing, for a number of reasons;

- Constantly changing the POV from first- to third-party

- Changing the narrator from Sal to Connie in the same paragraph

- Needed to better separate the 'Connie meeting Tony' part from the rest of the story, could also have been better placed

- Too many inconsistencies in the story line, too many holes

- Too wordy.

A good editor could have polished the story, changing it from hard to read, to 5 stars.

Sadly just 3 stars for me, but keep writing and ...

GET AN EDITOR

SKHPSKHPabout 7 years ago
Why is BTB content equal to a good story?

Kimi got it right: the story erratically changed from 1st person to 3rd and back, sometimes in one paragraph. The parts in 3rd person were written as if all the characters' thoughts were open to the narrator. The characters were cliches at best. The revenge was primitive violence - nothing subtle, nothing well-planned.

Why does this merit more than 4 stars? Not from my POV! (so: BTB-crowd, call me a cuck!)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
i usally

don't like these kind of stories but this was so well told that i loved it. If only these things happen more in live imagine the how great things would be. Well a person can dream.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Never met a tough dago

All Italians are cowardly back stabbing wankers

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Still there is the divorce

Even in England transferring his assets is a crime, will she have the ball to go for half. And alimony or is she scared shitless and just sign off ang become a homeless whore.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Kimi was right.

So was SKHP. I hate cuck stories and don't read them. That doesn't mean I love bad BTB stories. This is not a bad story, but it is badly written. I want cheaters to suffer for cheating, but getting there took some serious hits on all those detours we went on.

Can an author just post any old thing, and as long as the bitch is burnt, it's all good? Not with me. That's the Huedog line. Violence makes everything okay? Bad writing is excused as long as the bitch is burnt? It just makes those of us who enjoy stories with drama and consequences look like fools. I'll give it an extra star for not making cheating look like fun, but that just gets it to three stars. I want the author to keep writing, but clean the writing up by getting an EDITOR.

wylderoswylderosabout 7 years ago
C'mon people...

Admittedly terribly written from every measurable aspect of literacy and writer's craft,

but sheesh, everybody has to start somewhere!

Remember, in just a few very short years this fledgling writer is going to graduate high school and hopefully will have the basics of fiction composition revealed somewhere along the way.

On the positive side, after displaying a readiness to utilize a systematic approach to bullying, psychotic zeal in deploying likewise-thinking henchmen and a sociopathic thoroughness regarding his concept of justice, this kid could very well aspire to the Presidency of our country!

BobNbobbiBobNbobbiabout 7 years ago
There was meat . . .

. . . but this wasn't steak and potatoes. Normally I like a story with full background material so the conclusion is well supported. To my taste this one is over done, certainly not a rare steak. Two pages rather than five should be enough.

There also seems a confusion of voice in the telling of this tale. It wasn't Brit nor Italian. There seemed a bit of Long Island, maybe Brooklyn thrown in. I know I am not a burn the bitch sort of person. That fact may have influenced how I digested the tale. All I can offer Michaella Jones, is try one more rewrite or assume that there will be some who like the story style and some who don't. I do thank you for your effort and for sharing with us.

bruce22bruce22about 7 years ago
Good BTB

Nothing very innovative or beautifully written. An average dish...

starmanfivestarmanfiveabout 7 years ago
Thanks for the offering

The story was engaging and entertaining. I'm glad you gave us the confrontation scene. The kidnapping was reminiscent of the Al Pacino scene in the Italian restaurant where the police chief was killed. Great tension.

The point of view shifts were jarring. I suppose they were necessary for the story. (maybe not). This was BTB. Those are okay. You will see that the audience is divided between Cuck, BTB, and Reconciliation. I personally like the misdiagnosed affair, and reconciliation that was earned, but I can enjoy anything well written. Thank you for an entertaining story.

TrtrolesTrtrolesabout 7 years ago
good one

Your best story for sure. Five stars.

You should write more like this.

Impo_64Impo_64about 7 years ago
A very good story, and with a moral lesson...

A very good story, and with a moral lesson: Always follow your Granma six sense...4*

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShitabout 7 years ago
Outstanding

By FAR the best story of its kind. I'm at a loss to describe it. It's not your typical 'loving wives', it doesn't contain enough love for that. I stared writing 'revenge' but its not quite right. I wrote getting-even-with-a-cheat, but the story makes it clear that you can never quite 'get even'. There's not sappy making up. He is hurt beyond belief in a way you'd only understand if you've been there. It turned my guts into knots, but I had to finish it.

Until the last 3 paragraphs I hoped for more chapters... then you chose the PERFECT parting shot: no sequel needed.

BrewtooBrewtooabout 7 years ago
Not Your Best Work

Neither the husband nor the wife were likeable characters and the whole Sicilian things is cliché.

B_BaileyB_Baileyabout 7 years ago
Excellent

I don't cotton to anyone cheating in a marriage. They both got what they deserved.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
AH THE MOB DON'T YOU LOVE EM

She-it man! As i see it there are no winners here in this story! A cheating whore! An angry husband! A predator who got what's coming to him! They all lost? Please Peoples! I am a firm believer in second Life chances? So she cheated on him She got a scare trust me she would never do that again! GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE PLEEEEEEEEEZE! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

OnethirdOnethirdabout 7 years ago
Too much

If she was habitual, that'd be one thing, but she obviously screwed up once. All the BTB guys love this stuff, but it is too cruel for me. Just go, don't rub it in and scream names at her. Feel better now? It's like beating a little puppy.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
You gave good head on this one.

Very thought provoking and well crafted. I think you did an exceptional job of identifying and relating the intellectual and emotional components of these failed personalities.

From the very beginning you alluded to the tenuous nature of their marriage: "We met, partied and had fun for almost two years before we took the plunge and got married." To take a plunge is to commit an act about which you are uncertain or even dubious of its success. From the very beginning their relationship seems shallow and cavalier. No mention of long term plans, children, career. Hey, so far so good, let's see what being married is like.

The grandmother's uncertainty was perfectly cast: "How do women know or feel these things? It is beyond me." What the grandmother saw is obvious. Connie had two major flaws: she was spoiled, and she was immature. And her husband was blind! And what are some of the character flaws of the immature and spoiled person? Selfishness, entitlement, lack of discipline, and thoughtlessness. And boredom. Give these traits to a beautiful spoiled woman, and as was played out in the story, its only a matter of when, not if. Grandma could see it; he didn't want to see it.

Of course the husband unwittingly encouraged his wife's sense of entitlement, and invited her disrespect for his lack of common sense: "Terri got along with Connie and they often spent days out spending vast amounts of money shopping for god knows what and taking a long time doing it. All I ever saw were the large bags that came through the door with Connie after one of those expeditions." Really, your marriage partner is pissing away your money and you don't even know or care what its for? Why would Connie even think she might get caught, her husband sees her mostly as some trophy or fuck toy. He treats her like a privileged child, so why should he be surprised when Connie decides she wants to have her cake and eat too?

When the poor dufus husband finally figures out his wife has become another man's slut, you spend the rest of the story on an over the top revenge and BTB scenario, which I applaud. I mean, you broke both of Tony's arms and both his legs. Two plus two equal 5 in this case; good job.

Incredibly, the person I feel most sorry for is Connie. She never changed or acted out of character. She was a selfish thoughtless bitch her entire marriage, and her husband not only tolerated her self indulgence, he rewarded it. He has only himself to blame for hooking up with a woman totally ill equipped for the commitment and personal responsibility required for a successful marriage. Connie was a babe in Toyland, and she saw no great harm in having an exciting playmate in addition to her husband. The affair really didn't mean anything to her, because she lacked the empathy and soul to understand what she was doing to her husband and her marriage. Connie wasn't innocent, she was ignorant. Grandma saw that too.

A very well thought out portrayal of human frailty and failure, on the part of several characters. Phil and Terrie totally fucked him over by letting Connie get away with it. His staying friends with them is unthinkable.

Thank you for your time and talent. And thank you for allowing anonymous comments. It takes real confidence to want to know what Everyone thinks.

bworth1943bworth1943about 7 years ago
stone cold

When she asked is there a way back all he needed to say was NO. All the ranting

wasn't necessary, nor did he need to express his feelings about her betrayal.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
When caught in hotel

He pulled pulled his mask off so she would see that it was him.on the last page you had her just recognizing that it was him by his finger gun mimic.

WhackdoodleWhackdoodleabout 7 years ago
Writers write what they know.

And if violence is your reaction, then it tells me there was a reason she cheated and its not because he was a good man.

A man resorts to violence to protect those he loves, not to react like some Islamic jihadist.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
@Anonymous W--- T-- F---

Yes the story is familiar as are many of them posted here your posting is familiar too I will not go back and try to find when it was first posted but could you try a little imagination in your ranting. Writer I enjoyed the story but as said I enjoyed the other version more so 4*s.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Editorial Help

You need some serious help to get you to write in a more adult manner. You got the scenario and the level of violence is a personal judgment but the writing and style need some serious assistance. It was a BTB and that approach is a personal taste. The story line and choice of words used is third rate.

Tiny Tim

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Jist didn't hit the mark

A lot of obvious effort but this just falls flat. Made worse by too many rambling thoughts and conflicting emotions. Its already been said but I need to repeat: get an editor. This became a jumble of massive paragraphs near the end. Almost as if you wanted to get it over and done with.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Meh

Just meh...

foolscapfoolscapabout 7 years ago
Consequences are necessary, violence is not.

He should have confronted her, cut his losses, and moved on. Karma is a bitch but we don't get to volunteer to be its instrument.

thecarolinadreamerthecarolinadreamerabout 7 years ago
DIFFERENT!

I found this to be an interesting read. The actual story line was good, even if it did have all the problems many have pointed out. I thought there was a big gap between the quality of the story and the quality of the writing.

A quick check of your Bio showed you’re no beginner, so I read Frank’s party, to see if you have always been slack on your writing craft. Apparently you have. I disagree with those who said you need an editor—at least not right now. The first thing you need is to spend a lot of time in the writers resources category here on Lit.

I repeat—you can come up with a really good story; now you need to get it on paper in an easily readable form. 3 stars from me.

ChuckEPooChuckEPooabout 7 years ago
Saddest story I've ever read.

Your writing was masterful but painful. I was hoping to the bitter end that reconciliation was possible. Many years ago I succumbed to lust and temptation and had an affair with my secretary. I cut it off almost as soon as it started. Not being able to live with a lie, I made the mistake of confessing it to my wife. She got even by revenge fucking a guy and telling me. Then we separated for a year. Eventually, we couldn't live without each other. We remarried. That was twelve years ago and we work to keep our marriage fresh and alive. I say this as I believe some of the qualities of love are forgiveness and reconciliation. Love to see another chapter with Connie and Sal working things out. With your writing skills you could make that plausible. Solid five for your writing and showing the ugly consequences of cheating.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xabout 7 years ago
Meh

I could only manage to skim this as the writing was so awful, but one thing struck me about her cheating - that she was able to continue when she knew that their friends knew about it!

UltimateHomeBodyUltimateHomeBodyabout 7 years ago
Please

decide if you want to write in first person or third person. I could not finish as it got too hard with it jumping around.

Apart from not being able to finish reading, the writing is not too bad.

danoctoberdanoctoberabout 7 years ago
Loved it! 5 Stars!

Damn grammer police out in full.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Understandable ...

As a man and husband, I have just a small amount of understanding of a wife's attraction to a "bad boy," and this story's wife was repeatedly warned about this guy yet remained determined to cheat. I certainly can't condone any wife cheating, but I do understand the illicit attraction having felt it myself many times. Your character took it way too far, and paid an horrific price. I prefer to see a wife left with just enough resources to survive rather than being completely reduced to being penniless and homeless. I'm no fan of forgiveness and reunification either, just a bit less harsh once the divorce is finalized. Honestly, there are just no real cures for these problems. I've enjoyed your stories, and give them 5 stars for that. Thanks.

phil2213phil2213about 7 years ago
Poorly written great story with a weak ending

I loved the story but the author's indecision as to first or third person presentation offered annoying distractions in the flow. I felt the ending was abrupt and this story felt somewhat incomplete as many great stories do. However, I have complete access to the author to plead my case. So, add a part two or epilogue either reconciling or finding romance and success for the protagonist and pain and suffering for the adulteress and her accomplice in cheating. I rated this story a very reluctant five stars.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Empty

An empty story badly written, same old story rehashed badly.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Ego gone mad

Way over the top egotistic crap.

JetskibumJetskibumabout 7 years ago
Great concept of a story

But the absolute worst technical writing I have ever read. Your best approach should be limited to telling your story to someone to write for you who has a basic understanding of the English language.

icebreadicebreadabout 7 years ago
Good story..

...but a bit too easy on them.. ho hum.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Great Story

I really enjoyed this story. Great writing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago

Great story. Had me on the edge of my seat. Justice was done.

norcal62norcal62about 7 years ago
Well written, but.

Looked like an excuse to rant and rage from a character. With all the JD, no wonder things were off at home. Left me cold.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Dear Mr Hyde,

We need to get in touch with Dr Jeckyll, whose stories we like very much.

Could you please help us find his new contact info?

Your early action in this matter would be much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Voyeur Husbands Anonymous

Niagara-on-the-Lake Chapter

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
not enough

Needs more. The bastard needs more physical and mental torture until he is a wasted shell of a man. A enuch afraid of even seeing a woman again.

Scarred and deformed such that anyone seeing him would scream in disgust.

Now as for the vile evil cheating bitch wife, worse for her heh?

To much?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Shoe on the Other Foot?

It's clear that the predominant writers posting on Literotica are male. I have only read about wives cheating and husbands' reactions - from acceptance to - like this story - revenge just short of murder.

What I have NOT read or found so far, is the flip side of the coin. How a wife would feel/react to her husband's infidelity. That perspective is sadly missing on this site! Unfortunate - it would be interesting and even educational to have that viewpoint revealed and scrutinized. Even be a balancing, if you will, to the stories now posted here...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
The popularity of these stories

In regards to the previous post by Anonymous 04/04/17 (who probably is a female), about the lack of stories where the betrayed wife takes similar actions against her cheating husband is that stories like these strike a nerve with many men who have experienced betrayal by their (ex-)wives and to read about how the betrayed husband gets his revenge over his cheating wife and her lover, it is a cathartic experience they can find nowhere else.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
BTB at its best!

Very good! Loved it. This is BTB at its very best!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Well Done!!!!!

BRAVO

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
The ending was poorly done and the BTB crowd loves this shit

So she cheated, divorce her ass and be done, the pointing his finger at her and going click at the door was over the top. The beating was maybe acceptable , now what. Does she get half his assets or the threat and fear make her sign off on his divorce settlement. She is paying for her cheating . His losses a wife he so call loves. You could have ending this better.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Caught

Connie got what she deserved she could never be trusted by him again, so the marriage had to end. The lothario got his just deserts saving possibly any further female from his clutches hopefully.

Further to the comment by some other critic that there are no story's for he wife's revenge on a cheating husband they need to look closer there are some but not as many as for cheating wives.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
A fun story...

...made almost impossible to read by the lack of punctuation. Authors, learn basic punctuation. A great story can be rendered terrible and a mediocre story can be great, due to good editing. A comma isn't placed where we naturally take a breath. It is to bring two stand-alone sentences together.

This story could have been a 5 and I gave it a 2.

Cut out every 'had', 'that' and 'but.' Every. Single. One. Then reread the story and realize how good it can be.

cabbage01132cabbage01132almost 7 years ago
really?

mafia wannabes, kidnapping, balaclavas, guns! To deal with a cheating wife? no wonder she cheated she's surrounded by an incestuous bunch of cowardly fuckwits.

i suppose the annony BTB woman hating crowd will be in raptures over this! they will love the fact he put a gun to a womans head and pulled the trigger, bravo (slow hand clap)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
The author is a fuckng bigot.

Change Sal and Carlo's ancestry to Saudi Arabia, and this story would put you in jail in the UK, where candidates standing for parliament (US translation - "running for congress") get put in jail for quoting Sir Winston Churchill's book on the evils of islam! But it's perfectly okay to libel Italian-Englishmen!!!

Class Snob!!! I'm going to rate all your stories 1 star!

And pay attention to Kimi--pick a person: 1st, 2nd or 3rd, singular or plural and try to limit it to only one of them per paragraph! Then when you've graduated from crayons to pen, you can try to stretch it out for the entire piece of offal!

C_frommnC_frommnalmost 7 years ago
The Wife

Gets Caught and all anyone can say is Whoa is Me. She is lucky to get of so easily. He could have shot her and him in the Head. been done and over with. instead he made sure they both remember for a long time the Cost of being Stupid.

foolscapfoolscapalmost 7 years ago
Way too over the top for me. Terrorism is one of the lowest forms of evil

and Sal, Carlos, and company were nothing more than terrorists. There were no sympathetic characters in this long, long story. I appreciate consequences stories but this was not that at all. If it were Sal would be doing hard time. It was grotesque.

Perhaps it was meant as a satire that failed.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Salvatori?

Salvatori isn't an italian first name, SalvatorE is.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Really a good story

Read a few dumb asses that are saying that your story is too grotesque, they have never been hurt by a bitch....

Continue, nice story.

Thanks.

repojonesrepojonesalmost 7 years ago
Stop hating

This was a well written story that's what the bitch get .Stop all the soft pussy commenting especially the terrorism comment. I'm sure bitches stomp all over your poodle ass .Good job Author don't let these wanna be critics stop you're talent.

CoffeemuggCoffeemuggalmost 7 years ago
Boring

I couldn't get past second page. I got bored.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Good job

You developed the characters well, and the plot played out logically. Okay, so it's a bit fantastic that Sal has these family members to back him up. But hey, it's fiction, right? I enjoyed it.

boatbummboatbummalmost 7 years ago
Justice For The Offenders

Is fun to read about -- and rarely happens in real life (50/50 asset split, woman usually gets custody of any kids in a contentious divorce, ex-husband pays child and spousal support, etc.).

There's a lot of truth to "living well is the best revenge," but the comeuppance dealt out in stories like this is a refreshing change from a lot of RAAC stories here on Lit.

Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
tasers

Entertaining. made me remember electrical demonstration from primary school with a hand cranked generator and classmates holding hands. the first one gets the juice but the last one got the shock. Where were they connected?

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
For coffeemugg

You are bored?????? Bitch, you've never contributed shit in literotica and you are bored? What a fucking moron and with a smart ass attitude. Fuck Off Bitch!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Teri's request

Was mystifying. Claiming Connie simply made a mistake.

A one time thing perhaps could be viewed that way. Teri knew better. She repeatedly warned Connie to no avail, so Teri's request includind the she made a mistake comment just does not fit

timrivtimrivover 6 years ago

Kinda bad. Sounds like because he is Italian he is mob guy. All Italians are not like that. Stereotypical.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Come on guys. This is the revenge every fucking cuckolded husband dreams of

Come on guys. This the revenge every fucking cuckolded husband dreams of. He destroyed the cheater and her lover. I love how he put the fear of God in her with the click of the gun on the empty slot. At that instant, you can sense what real fear is about. Fear is real and we all feel it. Courage is the capacity of overriding your fear and face it. I don't think Connie or Tony will ever have the will to do that. Sal is the man. He had help, but everybody can use friends and family. This story is not for faint of heart or the wimpy cuckold. I love it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Why

Did you make Sal such a wimp ass. You saw the pictures had his plan had the divorce papers and he is still sobbing. Weeks after he saw the picture by then he should have cycle through the stages past wimping out and needing to suckable down the JD. Why don't you just write a man?

MbgdallasMbgdallasover 6 years ago
Why

Why did you make Sal out to be such a wimp Ass. He couldn't be man enough to take her back knowing he would be better off with her than without her. She has paid. Now it is time to forgive and get on with your life. If you love someone you have the capacity to forgive. One action such as this is not enough to kill the love.

Now Tony is another story. I want to know what continues to happen to him.

penneydog55penneydog55over 6 years ago
Wow Don't fuck with the Sal (Zohan)

This is one hell of a Grand Slam B.T.B. story! It goes without saying! Great Story a few typo errors ! Here's one Tonty (maybe tony was a pony and she nickname him Tonty) Anyway Thanks for sharing this Fantastic story with us! ★★★★★ WOOF

Pappy7Pappy7over 6 years ago
Kind of heavy handed

but isn't that what we like occasionally? I do agree with the poster who said that only men get revenge on their wives in this section but. Loving Wives? Get it, not loving husbands or cuckolding for all. Maybe some of you can petition Lit. to get these sections. I would like the cuck and suck stories to fade back into the background. But that's just me. I didn't think it was that badly written. I had no trouble following the story or reading the sentences. Too wordy? I don't know about that. Some people are more concise in their writing than others. Style, right? And some people don't need mob connections to stage an op. If his name would have been Sheamus it would have been the same.

266xxyz266xxyzover 6 years ago
Fun Fun Fun !!

I liked it. Would have liked it better if he had had a round in the chamber (cuz this is just a story) but realize the unpleasant consequences of that. Still...oh well 5*s.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
A bit over the top

Why is it that the BTB stories get high marks regardless of how well they are written? The terrible punctuation and run on sentences made this a very difficult read.

timrivtimrivover 6 years ago
Stupid

Stupid macho shit. Bruised male ego, childish retribution. Definitely never really loved his wife she was just a posession like the women in Saudi Arabia. She made a mistake now she must pay. If it had been him he would have expected forgiveness. Stupid meaningless drivel.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
@ timriv

Wait till it happens to you.... I'd pay good money to see how forgiving you are

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
All's Fair In Love And War

The writer has got to be pregnant. It is obvious by the myriad of missing periods.

Tony deserves to be beaten to within an inch of his life. And maybe even castrated or given a poor man's penectomy (have his penis cut off).

One thing that bothers me about the divorce laws in the United States is that the husband is always dealt with more harshly by the divorce court judge than the bastard who caused the destruction of the marriage. He is every bit as guilty as the man who breaks and enters a man's home and steals from him. After all, the interloper has broken into his marriage and destroyed it. He has stolen the man's wife, ruined his life, caused terrible emotional damage, destroyed the husband's hopes and dreams of a future. But, yet, the other man usually faces no repercussions. And although the other man is responsible for the destruction of the marriage, it is the victimized husband that the judge orders to pay for court-ordered marriage counseling. That is obviously the other man's financial responsibility. And the other man should have to reimburse the husband for every penny he has to pay to the wife that was stolen from the husband. I should be a divorce court judge.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Loved it

No more to be said.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Another crap unbelievable story

1* is the least score but - it is well deserved!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Okay this is a story

Very unorganized, too long,and full of shit. He told us he was going to kick her to the curb in the beginning. Why all the mindless words about planning.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Good on you

That’s the way to do it. All the divorced guys I know would have loved to do the same.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Bravo, an Anti-Cuck story, Love it

Nicely written. I am always disgusted by those stories that have guys becoming man-bitches to their wives fucking around on them. I was only cheated on once in my life and I simply cut it off and left. After about 6 months of planning, THEN I started my revenge. I wanted to make sure I was no longer emotionally charged like right after it happened. It was great and I can honestly say....

Revenge is a dish best served COLD.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
'You did this and now you will pay the price.'

That pretty much says it all. Thank you.

Anonymous
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