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English
black notebook!
ah, so easy to get overdramatic about these things, but you handle it so well! I love the last verse. Very cool fawnie!
So....
...nice, Fawnie...and so improved from the first time it saw light!
Fawnie gets.....
...better and better - I'm watching. :-) It's a pleasure.
What they said...
It was great ;-)
(you have one of those books too?)
me wuv that wast stanza
Let me clear my throat. Ugh ack uh... Okay, I'm being silly because I'm trying to read 4 pages of new poems since I'm so far behind on my reading!
I do love the last stanza though.
Now I'm going to pick over something trivial simply because that's what I do.
mockery pierced,
left me
bleeding
all over your
slippery farewell.
I think you need to change the line breaks. It sounds choppy.
mockery pierced,
left me bleeding
over your slippery
farewell.
There may be a better way to go about it, but that still sounds a bit smoother, don't you think?
exactly what i needed today.
thank you! I couldn't have said it better myself!
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