All Comments on 'In-Fucking-Sane Ch. 05'

Nothing like knowing someone is listening or watching to get you hot. My wife loved knowing someone was in the next room listening...Or sometimes even the same hotel room.

Hey Man, this series is getting better and better. Narrative voice is so perfect! Thanks and please keep 'em coming!

Canon is an alternate word for church.

I'm sure you meant 'cannons', as in the slang for breasts. Though I suppose they could make you think of God if their caliber was that awesome.

This felt so natural that it could have been real - I can't give a better compliment than that.

A technical tip - Split the long paragraphs. They might work in a book, but on an illuminated screen paragraphs should be four, max five, lines in length (I learnt that from a screenwriting course).

The rest of your writing is great and proceeds with pace. Keep up the good work.

Niiiice