All Comments on 'Justice'

It's a nice tale but I feel like the main character was poorly crafted and his motivations were a bit bizarre. There's nothing that establishes why he would have an issue with her being a stripper in the first place. It seems like a massive overreaction that requires a hollywood level coincidence to fix.

Well written as always but I feel like this is one of your weaker stories.

buried beneath layers of time and slime,,,,,,what will you do, TK U MLJ LV NV

If hes going to freak out that she was stripper BEFORE they were serious, then she needs to dump his ass. Hes a fuckwad with a side helping of douchebaggery wrapped in some vague notion of chivalry.

Fuck him, she can do better than him.

Your usual excellence. Never anything but stellar writing, characters and plot. What a story Dad told! Opened some eyes, huh? Super job. This is the only story I could read tonight. Oberon says "great story!" At least, that's how I'm interpreting his snoring!!

Nope, not your best, don't know what your read blackrandl1958, but oshaw has much better stories on here than this. I couldn't find all that much to like about it.

And it just read like that. No inspiration of a damned good idea. Your other stories are brilliant compare to this. Well written, yes, interesting, no.

Mike is a douche.

Mike, as written, is a priggish ass wipe. That self-righteous type of character disgusts me. Good story. Nicely disguised twist. Well told. 5*

I don't know why everyone is so hard on Mike. A lot of men would have reacted the same way. He just needed to grow up a little, and his Dad helped him out with that. Well done story!

Keep 'em coming routinely, PLEASE!!

BRAVO

You write good stories. A little less sex because it detracts from the core story.

I do quibble a bit about the son having a hissy fit over his wife having been a stripper. I am pretty conservative, but I see this as a minor issue, not one that would cause him to ponder dissolving the new marriage. But maybe that is just my middle age sensitivities have been worn down by time, when I was a younger man I was more jealous of these type things.

Tying to the Segar song was tremendous. Nice job.

I'll join the masses welcoming oshaw back to the mix. What a great day this already is and I've only read 2 stories.

... the "twist" ending in how the dad referred to "mom" and "Mary." Saw it coming a mile away. Didn't care, though-- it was still a good read!

Thanks for writing, and I hope you're permanently back from your hiatus!

We don't get too many love stories at FM. I'm so happy you wrote this story. Unlike some of the other reviewers, I didn't see the twist, but it made the story very believable. Some readers may find the son's view too puritanical, but I was raised in Texas and know a lot of closed minded people there. Being a Vietnam vet, I appreciated that side of the father's story too. There's not a lot of credit for vets from that ugly war unlike today, thank God.

Thanks for sharing and hope to see more of you in the future.

Sincerely yours,

Santacruzman

5*

It didn't hit me between the eyes but I loved reading this story within a story.

Well done!

I don't believe Lila or Mike did anything wrong here.

There was a misunderstanding at the beginning of their relationship. She was very honest, straightforward and true. She even gave up her financial security after one date and reorganized her life for him! Good woman!

He received a shock the day after the wedding and went for a beer to think things through.

Pretty measured response on his part for finding out his wife worked at what was basically a high end whore house.

He trusted she only danced but it was a lot to reassess and process.

With the help of his dad, who told a great story, he figured it out in less than a day.

Great couple with great folks!

What a wonderful story. This is about the best LW stories I have read. Please continue to add to this wonderful site.

Great story. Welcome back oshaw.

5 stars.

I'll never be able to listen to "Main Street" again without getting misty!

Other thoughts:

She says she works “at Fitzgerald’s.” It NEVER occurred to her that that’s a fairly common name for a bar, that maybe she should make it clear that it’s “Fitzgerald’s Gentlemen Club?”

He talks about being with a “stripper,” or his kid having to say his “Mom is a stripper.” She ISN’T a stripper, she WAS a stripper, and unless they bump into a former patron, who’s going to know? And what were THEY doing in a strip club, LOL?

"How do I ever get past the fact that the woman I married isn't who I thought she'd be?" – She’s EXACTLY who you KNOW she is!

When he brought the money back to Genero’s you called Dawn Lila!

Loved it....what a comeback!!!

not normally my kind of story but i do recognise quality when i see it, bit like "balance" it just held my attention despite being not what i'd usually look for in a story.

I've read almost all of your stories at least two or three times. What an unexpected gift from you. Thank you for your new submission.

Holy cow, this was good. This, in my humble opinion, has got to be one of your best stories, ever.

every single story I have read today are 5 stars. Unbelieveable, How gifted all you hall of famers are, Thank you

This is beautiful story. I have no words. I'm speechless. Masterpiece

Going to my favourite list for sure.

Glad to see you back.

Grettings from Germany

Thank you. I just feel so upbeat and good after reading. Well done

Today is one of the best days for us who love "Loving Wives" section.

Thank you.

with writers as good as oshaw is once you discover them you sit and read everything they've posted in one or two sittings. That leaves you with having to reread the stories and hope they will post another story. Oshaw finally has and it is another great one.

Thank you sir and don't stay a stranger.

Woodmanone

Oshaw is a master at pacing and dialogue and story telling. Is a treat to have a new story today (and one from PapaToad and HDK and Ohio and the other excellent writers). Very nice!

O you sure have a creative talent, please keep writing. Salute's

Only one miss, you stated 'Lila' when it should have been 'Dawn'.

My apologies to the author. While trying to rate the story 5***** my fuck@#$ phone acted out and it ended out giving a 1* because as much as I tried to hit the 5 starts symbol the screen changed on delay and it gave the signal to the 1star. Time for a new motherf@#$ phone.

Anyways, thanks to author for this great effort, and my apologies once again.

Wonderful plot and very well written.

Great job, oshaw!

The "hero" of the story was a bit of an ass,

but we all are allowed to be just that once

in a while ;).

We're stilling eagerly anticipating K-Z.

Boyd Percy

Enjoyed it except you made Mike quite the whiny bitch, eh?

Don't get me wrong there is some great ones out there... GirlintheMoon .... DFWBeast... Laptop writer ... Jezzaz ..and a wroter that is ALWAYS pver looked Muirmadra. But in my opinion the best overall writer in the LW genre right now is clearly OSHAW.

As far as a story goes yeah the ending was kind of telegraphed. And quite frankly I think the husband overreact little bit. The wife didn't do anything wrong but the husband was operating under a false premise --so obviously it's going to be a shock to him. But I AS i said a case could be made he Is overreacting but also with the new information about his wife he does have to make some adjustments.

Good story ...tremendous characters ...believable plot and extremely well written.

mike was whiny bitch, very judgemental but also very hypocritical. well i guess thats what happens when your the son of a crooked cop and a stripper. probably embarrased of there past they neglected to teach there son right. Like not to look down on others just because of what they do or did. Its a shame because his parents despite there past were lovely human beings

I don't think this was really LW material. So many tangents - the bar, college, his father's story. I skipped a lot.

Good that daddy always has a better story for the problem!! What a nonsense!! He has only to decide if he will live with a stripper/whore and daddys bribemoney or if he will create a life with an unscathed wife!!!

There are only a few authors on Lit that I re-read regularly. you are one of them. Thank you for taking the intellect up a notch for all of us.

Love your writing and am thrilled you posted a story for it

Most of the legends seem to have written romantic rather than LW stories, but that's OK. They are still good. I felt this one was a bit long - too descriptive. Shortened to 4 pages would have made for a tauter tale.

And you've already used the Hodge Conjecture in a previous story. There are plenty of other millenium prize problems to play with (~smile).

Very perceptive comment. I noticed the trend toward romance, myself. In fact, I fell right into that trend. I think that as we mature, as writers, we tend to be less and less interested in traditional stories, of any of the varieties of LW story. Few of us ever wrote hotwife/sharing stories, but the plots of burning bitches and reconciliation become less and less attractive and we tend to focus on the byplay of what happens in marital strife.

We become more interested in the drama, and less in the action. That's where the true tension potential is that makes this such a great category. Aside from the stroke material, most seem to be here for that drama. I think what we see as a move toward romance is, in reality, a tendency toward maturity, as writers.

Those other stories are fun, but we're more interested, as we mature, in the emotional aspect of "what would be a likely reaction of a normal person if 'this' occurred." So, we set out to see, find within ourselves that answer, and try to write that. The fact is, most of us are in love with our spouses, whether male or female, and would go to great lengths to preserve our relationships. Most of us are not Shiva the destroyer. We're just people, and we try to write what people would do.

Many, of the Shiva persuasion, view that as RAAC. It's not. It's consequences and what happens in the morning after the event. I think it's a good direction. Many will, no doubt, disagree.

The conflict, in this story, is between perception and reality. Most men, I think, would have a similar reaction as the protagonist. "You were a stripper? Well, you must also have been doing... other things." The reality was, she did not, and quit the business as soon as she met him. He was stuck in shock, and the story his father told him broke that shock, allowing him to discard perception and focus on reality; she loved him, and he loved her. As always, Oshaw draws that out beautifully. As far as putting emotion and drama on paper, he is a master crafter, and I, for one, wish I were half as proficient.

It was as though I read three different stories, yet tied into one. Fantastic job!

Well written as all Oshaw stories are. I admit to skipping most of pages 2 and 3 but the father's final story held my interest. In the end it's almost Disney and I don't mean that in derogatory way. 4*

But why would she want to stay married to an asshole like Mike? She needs a real man. And his Dad may have been measuring dick size, but when the price gets to ten million a smart man signs on the dotted line regardless of how drunk the billionaire was.

***** Oshaw can spin 'em and Ill read 'em, Excellent story, period...

The plot here is that he has doubts about marrying a former stripper, he finds out his mother was a stripper so everything is OK. Why do we need four pages from his windbag father about Colombian and Italian gangsters?

What was interesting is that when I first tried reading this I gave up at the point Mike came over as a self righteous prick about her dancing career. I came back the following day curious to see how oshaw develpoed the story. Cant say this ranks with his best, the whole scam for acquiring the bar is just too fanciful but that aside... Mike was still a self righteous unsympathetic prick. Thanks for the read.

This was more about having the way he perceived his lovely bride (through "rose-colored" glasses, as most any new groom will confirm), suddenly conflicting with the way he perceived the average bar stripper. He wasn't being pompous, just coming to terms with the fact that she is not his perfect little sweetie. There's a song called "Centerfold " about a guy who's high school crush appears as a magazine centerfold, but having just married a gal to find out that she was a stripper (& all that it can entail-even if it didn't in this case), is more of a shock to an idealistic young lad. Remember when you were as naive as he? As the song says, "My blood runs cold! My memory has just been sold: my angel is a centerfold!" Great story! 5 big ones!

As others have noted, Mike's dickheadedness is clearly over the top, and Lila would be better off with a man who would accept her truthful explanation of her past. After all, she told him at the get-go, and asked if it was OK with him BEFORE dating him seriously. Smack him upside the head with a 2x4 if he didn't remember his abortive trip to the "other" Fitzgerald's!

Of course, we all understand that this was necessary to set up the central conflict in the story. Still, I wouldn't have been surprised if Lila had demanded an annulment and told Mike to go pound sand, leading to a more convoluted reconciliation later.

Still a fine tale with lots of misdirection and depth of feeling. Loved Dad's story!

And please accept my heartfelt "welcome back" to Lit! I'm looking forward to more contributions from you in the future!

5* from me!

Happy Legends Day/Weekend!

That I loved the B-4 Bob Seger song at the end. Very powerful! His heartfelt songs and unique voice invoke lots of memories from my younger days. Thanks!

Hey there - missed your stories for a while. Was waiting for the next letter in the alphabet! Hope you write more and thanks for the stories.

an entertaining and interesting story

Love your writing! So good to see your name again. I'm overwhelmed having so much to read at one time.

This as a good one ... being said ... it's so frustrating when misunderstanding is the basis for so much drama.

In any case...a 5 ver

but the actual issue was so petty and so easily resolved that I began to lose interest after it was revealed.

. . . very much for your excellent contribution. I've read many of your stories, and I enjoy them all. To echo another's comment, the only problem with this event is that it's incredibly challenging to get through them all. Thanks to all the great authors who write tirelessly to keep us poor readers occupied. I appreciate them all. Thank you.

Ok, the basic premise of this story was an easy one to resolve. Yes, and people have commented on that, however, you have reached into the soul's of the individuals involved and truly convey their anguish, their thoughts, hopes and dreams. I don't know what you have going in your personal life, but I for one am truly grateful that you have shared this amazing story with us.

for a terrific story. It was gripping and nostalgic and entertaining. Solid five

So love the way you develop character. A true art.

Though I didn't see how the first Mary was going to forgive him either...

Makes you wonder about that first Mary too... Needs a ring to have sex with him but fucks his brother on the first date...? So, did it turn out she was just a slut hiding or was she just trying to trap his father into marrying her...?

He definitely ended up with the better Mary.

And Mike was a bit of an ass - basically saying all strippers are whores...

What a immature prick Mike is. Sure glad he grew up some. Liked your story. Loved his Jarhead dad.

So happy to see you writing again, hopefully it won't be so long until your next submission. Thanks for much.

Maybe your next story should be titled, "Karma". You have a lot of alphabet to go through yet...

Another very nice story from Oshaw. I was irritated with the puritan reaction from the newlywed husband- who really thinks that way anymore? I guess he would have run away in terror if he hadn't misconstrued the restaurant names and really missed out. Regardless, it all worked out in the end.

If music be the food of love

Then laughter is its queen

And likewise if behind is in front

Then dirt in truth is clean (PH)

Glad he found out in time what a 24K wife he had

We need more good parents to help our children find their way

5s+++++

It was another wonderful story from you hands. Thanks so much for responding to this call. I hope you continue to write and share your gift. 5 stars

Wolfman_1962

Five stars. The overreaction on the part of the hubby was a setup for the twist at the end. Had the twist not come, i would have been scratching my head as to why this guy was so upset. This should have been in romance, as there never really was a hint of cheating. High quality writing.

Sappy, wise, a bit gritty,

Liked the human elements.

If I have any complaint, it is the OCC (Oshaw Contrived Conflict) about the stripping. You needed it, but it was a tin note in the middle of an otherwise good song.

She had every right to be pissed at him. She told him the truth, she took a fiscal bullet for him by the second date, and he throws it in her face right after the wedding?

I am guessing she is NOT going to do any dancing for him anytime soon. If she stayed with him, it was because she wanted his Mom and Dad.

A loving wife; nothing finer.

Another wrankling Lit category violation.

Obvious talent being poured into detail that overwhelms the storytelling. Despite the scintillating honeymoon sex this comes off like a Rockwell painting: saccharine, soppy syrup.

Sorry!

... and any other positive adjectives that I failed to mention. In my humble opinion, this story is easily one of the ten best ever submitted on this site and you, sir, are easily an author worthy of legendary status. Finally, simply suburb.

And that is why I gave it a five!

Man, I haven't thought of that song in a long long time. I never knew what it meant-now I do. Thanks. Another great offering of legends day. I think we need to have an annual one. That way the cuckold story tellers can go to hell.

Two different stories mashed together. A protagonist that's an idiot and doesn't listen.

A wife, Lila, who has done everything right and honorable.

I am not saying anything else😣❗

Thank you for the effort oshaw.

AMerryman

In reading some of the comments there are several that get on the husband for reacting the way that he did in the story. I dare say that most husbands would be a little upset to find out for the first time, on their wedding night that their wife had been a stripper when they started dating. This was nobodies fault, the wife thought that he understood what she did because she worked at "Fitzgerald's". The fact that there was a Bar and a "Gentleman's Club" with the same name makes for a plausible basis for the whole story. I also loved the interaction and connection of two generations in the same story. Oshaw certainly provided us a "legends" quality story. 5 Stars. Thanks again for all the writers who participated in this. Please make this a regular event.

I love Oshaw's other stories. But this one didn't quite work for me. I gave it four out of five stars, but it is really a 3.5.

It is extremely well written, as always, and I liked the conflict over the husband discovering his wife is a former exotic dancer.

But I just couldn't buy the part of the story about how his father gets the gangster's bar. The gangster knows the mob boss will kill him if he signs over the bar, but he does it anyway? And the police department buys crazy that story of buying the bar? Um, no.

I know it is a fantasy, but i would have just prefer the father telling his son about how he fell in love with and married an exotic dancer. The trick with the mother's name was good, though.

I hope Oshaw writes more stories and I will be quick to read them.

Cheers

Steve

Hi Oshaw,

I love they way you can spin a yarn and make me believe it. Yeah, I think that the husband was a little too righteous, but that's how we got to the other story and made it all come together. Love stories that can show love too, not just a guy getting the short end of the stick. Glad to see you are back. Hope we get to read more soon.

Sincerely,

Santacruzman

Welcome back!

Another masterpiece, as usual!

Lila should have dumped him.

You were missed!

Welcome back. You have been missed.1B

Thank YOU Oshaw

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

KK

The bit conning the mafia guys out of the bar is nonsense. For example: pre-signed notorized document? Illegal. Instant transfer of liquor permits? Not possible. Otherwise a good story written too quickly.

One, as several comments have pointed out, Our Hero is a prick.

Two, while Dad's tale is exciting, it's obvious almost immediately who Dawn is and how the main story will be resolved. No suspense there.

Three, there are no Loving Wives in the story. During Dad's tale no one is married. After the three marriages, no cheating occurs.

I've read only one other of your stories, Interest. The same thing happened there. The hero's love interest isn't married to him until the very end of the story. So she isn't a Loving Wife.

A very good story...It's a pleasure to read a @oshaw new story... The story has some weak points? sure and all were pointed through all the comments...But what anyone can deny is this is a good and pleasant read...Wellcome back! 4*

Thanks for a most enjoyable story, it was a wonderful read. 5*

I don't think so. Certainly not this time. 5*s all the way!

Greetings, OShaw,

It is about time! Lad, I have waited over a year for you to get off your hands and put another Letter up. 😏

Keep up the good work. Enjoyed everything you have written.

Sincerely,

Uncle Bozzin

The initial misunderstanding is on pretty shaky ground, if he already knew about the gentleman's club, why wouldn't he think of that one?

she definitely worded her explanation in such a way that she considered her working there a problem, so he should have asked about that,

any sane nonretarded person would be curious, especially if she felt the need to quit despite the financial hardship it would cause.

Even more contrived to have the mom also be a former stripper, not to mention Dawn's identity being so obvious.

Seems like the moral is that your mother also did it so it can't be that bad. Or perhaps like father like son?

It really changes nothing, the circumstances are so different. That whole story is both a distraction and way TMI for any son, and possibly screwing up the relationship to the mother .

He didn't know about Lila being a stripper, casting doubt on the foundation of their relationship if he didn't have doubts there would be something wrong with him

I can't remember the last time I favorited a story. I gave it a five and made it a favorite. Frankly , I don't give a damn what anyone else says.

I loved your story. Thanks and keep it up!!!

What a judgmental A-HOLE Mike is!

Geezus - the douche seriously thought of bailing out, 'cause his wife happened to be a stripper before they started dating? Even though she stopped being one JUST FOR HIM!?

Urgh... first time an oshaw's lead male character truly disgusted me. His girl didn't even come close to be unfaithful to him, yet he reacted has if she truly was a prostitue! Poor Lila - she deserved better.

Predictable twist, even with the Mary switcharoo. But, as always, regardless of some curious actions (seriously, Mike is one whining little bitch!), this was a very enjoyable read from this author.

Can't wait for the next one.

When I was in university, we knew where every strip join was in our city. No self respecting university male would not where those strip clubs were! They would be ridiculed by everyone else at the university if they didn't know until they drove the rest of us there! Even the seminary students knew where the strip club were! As for Lila being concerned about having a wet t-shirt which showed her nipple, give me a break! As a stripper she would never be conscientious about showing her nipples, lol.

Lila is a saint compared to that piece of crap.

Back from the dead after two years, and I was mega-hyped about your new story. Equation and Interest are my favourites, and since this followed Interest, I had higher expectations...

Although this is a great story in of itself, I felt kinda let down at the end. It's just one long flashback. Not enough substance in my opinion. All your other stories have long adventures as we follow the MC's experiences, but in this one, it's kind of sad to say that there's more development on Mike's father than Mike himself. It's like he shared the spotlight, but since he didn't like his father in the beginning anyways (or at least that's how I interpreted it), I'm confused as to why Mike let his father share the spotlight.

No offense to your editor(s), but I caught a couple lazy spelling mistakes that weren't present in your past works, and some incomplete thoughts as well. I'm not sure what happened (or didn't happen) during your hiatus, but it might've taken its (slight) toll on your writing.

Like I said before, I have nothing major against this story; in fact, it's really good. I guess it's just because I was wrongfully comparing Justice to Interest the whole time I was reading it. Sorry.

4 stars.

First, not everyone knows all the strip clubs in the larger cities. And Lila was straight and up front with him. He's just a bit denser than the average bear. As soon as she started a relationship with him, she quit her very lucrative job. She was as upfront as she could be. And so what if she was a dancer. That doesn't mean she slept with any of the guys that propositioned her. I know because my wife was a dancer when we met. She kept on dancing until we became exclusive then she quit. She had some partners before me but the club had a strict no dating rule and they had zero tolerance for 'dating' customers. So, this is believable except for Mike's 'Slow to catch on' outlook on life. He was a bit of a maroon.