homeSci-Fi & FantasyWaiting Ch. 01Public Comments

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Waiting Ch. 01

byBushido71XS©
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by Anonymous

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by 100 Angry Bananas07/15/04

Strong First Chapter

You have some strong, detailed visual passages in here that I really liked, particularly the first few paragraphs. This is a strong first chapter, but I'd like to see more character development with Galen in following chapters. One small point of criticism: I find more than one exclamation points to be overkill!!!! Other than that, I think you're off to a great start.

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