All Comments on 'In the Shower with Mum'

Perfect the way mum orchestrated the seduction. She pick rights times to be forward and set the tone. Please continue the sweet story.

Then all of a sudden you rushed into the story and that ruined it for me. **

Yeah. I wouldn't mind a bit more of a build up. It did seem too rushed.

...that escalated quickly!!!

Keep going.

And thanks for two fine 5star stories in your debut.

Short..need more stories

Great start then you jumped really fast. I'd prefer a slower build up but it was still good. Just didn't make me cum this time.

This story felt like it was not finished, as if you forgot to download the second page.

what a fucking turn of for first time....3 stars

The positive: You right well with a good sense of humour which makes your narrator very likeable. Plus, you gave us an ending that worked and was pleasantly playful.

The not so positive: Things happen too quickly. Some kind of tension between mum and son before she asks him to fuck would have been better. At least some hint of mum's desire would have helped. I understand that there's a kind of repetitive structure to these kinds of stories and you might have wanted to avoid that, but some sort of progression was needed.

Anal is an odd place to go. For it to work better, a better description of the mum's ass is needed. Son's willingness to go along with mum needs to be addressed somehow, really.

Expanding a bit on these comments.

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"Anal is an odd place to go. For it to work better, a better description of the mum's ass is needed."

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Also, the only lubrication seems to be his saliva. While you do mention gel, for the first fuck it's only regarding washing. That is well before he starts fucking her ass, and nothing about applying it to his cock as lube. Also, since anal seems to be the extent of their fucking. While some would argue that we could infer they go beyond anal, in fiction a general rule is that if it is not stated, it doesn't happen.

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Also, there is the two month gap. For this equal arguments could be made that they have been fucking all along -- probably in the shower -- or that this is the first time since then. A better ending may have been to change the last paragraph to the next day. You could have also tightened up the ambiguity regarding if it is limited to anal by extending the last sentence to state that she smiled as she sank to her knees, taking his cock into her mouth.

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It was good, but it could have been better.

This was very enjoyable for the first half went slow to bring you in and wanting more, Second half felt rushed and way to quick.

A few more paragraphs working up to it would be great a good tease can sometimes be better then the act itself.

Sure wish my mom had let me take a shower with her when I lived at home & she was in her 40s.

So refreshing to have a story not be 8 pages of fucking setting and set up. Awesome. Maybe just extend the sex scene a bit longer with descriptions of bodies and acts. Otherwise, really good.