by alextion
You just destroyed any credibility you ever had. "Niggers?" Really? You're just as big a racist as the guy who wrote the story. You've been hounding LSD for being an ass and you're going to drop the "N" word? I hope they ban your freaking profile. You should really never show your face around here again. You're an embarrassment to the HUMAN race.
You've given this guy what seems to be a fair bit of self confidence and he doesn't seem to have a cuckolding fetish. I'm curious as to what angle you're working here. Standard issue cuck story most likely, but you never know.
What I wish you'd done is let him have a thought or two about why his wife is using his insulting college nickname. Does he not care? He hates it so why doesn't he say anything.
Cant you at least give this dork a little intestinal fortitude. I cant believe all these stories are the same. Hot chick marries a wmpy little girl and the big black dick gets to fuck her. Am I missing anything? How about hubby brings a gun and shoots the whore and the big black asshole and sail the yacht into the sunset to find another wimpy pussy and become a couple like barack and micheal, er Michelle
....that only dates black jocks, finally decides to be our hero's boyfriend, only to discover his little pointer isn't a quarter of what she's used to and obviously loves. But, again magically, she agrees to marry him. Within minutes of their arrival, she's denigrating him with a nickname he earned in the showers(? But we thought he wasn't very athletic...).
Then, of course, miracle of miracles, they bump into none other than the manger of the rapper she adores (and probably daydreams of fucking senseless). Now, she completely ignores her husband and wraps herself up in this new interest to the exclusion of all else, then has the audacity to get mad at him when he finally (Finally!) puts his foot down. Oh, and let's not forget, she's entering a twerking contest, will likely be a winner and oh my! Shock! Surprise! She'll end up fucking the big black wonder, fucker of all hot white bitches. Hell, she'll probably become the team toy.
I had to stop reading. It was just too stupid, too vapid, too obvious and too trite to make it possible to continue to the bitter end. You also seem to have trouble with spelling and other technical aspects of writing.
I'd suggest you:
1. Try a more imaginative and, dare I suggest it(?), interesting storyline.
2. Approach one of the several excellent volunteer editors and see if they can't take some of the clerical burden off.
3. Fantasy or no, you must test your storyline and its rationale against not,al hi,an behaviors. And, where the story turns away from normal, you must provide an excuse, an device that makes it rational for now.
Apparently it is. It ought to be made impossible.
I wonder if you ever stopped to ask yourself "Why am I writing this story? For whom? What do I want the reader to take away from spending his/her time reading it?"
Your characters are entirely without redeeming interest, your plot line is trite, even vapid, with no identifiable redeeming literary value; it stimulates no curious reflection.
And, of course, at all critical moments requiring thought, planning, evaluation, the main male character always must "have a few beers" sufficient to prevent rational mental processes. Alcohol does that to the brain! You'd think all college-educated people would know that by graduation.
I guess this is some kind of Literotica style requirement: When life gets difficult, demanding or in any way challenging, by all means get drunk with, say, six or eight of 10 beers, then vomit, get a hangover, etc., and then go catatonic and watch the world turn to shxx. A clever plot device -- for a moron.
It doesn't matter who was fucking her...What matters in this story is that she was a whore all her life and he was the only one to not see it...That's why this story has no future! Why? Because it has its ending announced since the first word...And being so, no need for more parts...It's a sad 1st part and the next ones will be even sadder! 1*
Just a horrible story and it's not clear why it's in loving wives... The biggest
Problem, which you never address, is why this woman would marry such a loser.
If you are going to continue to write please consult a dictionary and note the difference between the words waist and waste.
DON'T CONTINUE and the right etiquette is to put CHAPTER 1 in the title, not to be continued at the end.
Given the title it did fit . But you gave the guy such a bad Character he was out of his league. But you were able to carry the story pretty well. .Don't let the other comments bother you keep Writing i have seen a lot worse. ...
This plot has been done before, but this is decent first effort.
However, making Martin a "one inch dick" seems to take away from the drama of the story.
Wrong category. Another reason this category has gone into the sewer. ONE STAR
Yes, I know you're trying to make a play on words, but I think the story is going about it the wrong way.
Isn't there a category for IR stories? Why is this in LW? That's been the problem for some time now in loving wives, too many other categories are being thrown here. Don't we enough shit stories already, do we need more? Fetish, interracial and bdsm abound in this category. Why? 1*
IR for this. BDSM for guys who get off on humiliation. General erotic, romantic, etc for stories where the main conflict is not the marriage. But people keep posting them here and, rightfully, get ripped for it.
Please don't.
To write this and then post it in loving wives is only wasting your's and the readers time.
Show some consideration.
A typical tiny-dicked repressed homosexual fantasy. Lacks suspense. Anyone can see that the one-inch wonder will soon be sucking his "wife's" black lover's gigantic cock.
It's trite and cliched, but this is definitely the correct category for it.
Why would she marry him? That was the biggest question. He's not good looking. He's a doper. He's got a little dick. And I'm sorry. In this day and age working for a newspaper is a low paying, dead end job. So with absolutely nothing going for him, a girl like Katie NEVER marries a guy like Martin, even in a fictional story. Add to that is the fact that Katie is a BBC whore and you have a recipe for this garbage. Knowing what he does about Katie, her black men and the fact that she demeans, degrades and humiliates him at every turn (Big Inch - really?) why would he marry her? This whole thing is just a cluster fuck. Don't bother to continue. This is just too stupid for words.
1 star
why continue it, it barely has even started and all it tells you is his wife is a whore and has no respect for her "hubby" leave her there, go home and divorce her ass and find someone worth while
Stop now -- no respect for either characters -- nothing to be gained
Story is progressing well, some plot points to play with. If I had any advice to give, make sure you enjoy the process of writing, and F people who read it and jump your shit. You won they read it, and cared enough to give you feed back. I'd rather someone tell me I suck, than to hear no feed back at all.
Have fun
Don't be discouraged by the other comments. This story has promise and can evolve into several categories. Despite the wimp that the husband appears to be he can be transformed in the next chapter. Finish the story. I'll read it.
same ole same ole, the dude is going to take big inch wife away cause she a bimbo.
It's a toss-up which is worse, that you couldn't be bothered to use a fucking chapter number to warn this wasn't a complete story or that there is more of this by-the-numbers "story".
Sorry fans, it looks like another cluck story....
She gets some black dick and hubby gets to clean her up...
I think I've heard it all before....
anyone who thinks this is worth a crap, instead of ignoring those who realize crap when they read it and tell you what it really is?
Like really could not at least of said the hubby had at least a 6 or 7 inch dick and at least lasted like say 15 or 20 minutes while fucking his wife nope 4 and half inches and a two minute man why she even marry him after she's been fucking big huge black guys most of her life could of made it more realistic poorly written and at least give the hubby some balls on a honeymoon and wife totally ignorant towards her hubby and slams her heel into the top of his barefoot like come on really ??? We all know she's gonna fuck her rapper crush the promoter same damn story as usual small pathetic hubby hotwife and big black cock lovers give this a minus 1
Anyone can see where this train with it's black locomotive and pink caboose is headed. Nowhere-Ville. Couldn't get past the start of page two. If this was written on quality toilet paper I would not wipe my ass with it. Why get involved with a wigger anyway? Once you go black we don't want you back.
Belongs in the sewer we know as 'Interracial'.
No mystery, no eroticism, no complex or even likeable characters. Just predictable big black dicking of a little white girl while humiliating a "little" white boy. Might as well have been a one-page stroke story in Interracial. At least then it might've had some purpose
An author who writes a story (debatable) in English, has such a problem with English comprehension when it comes to which category to submit it in, I would guess that Lit. has set out the parameters for each category quite clearly. But we still have IR, Fetish, BDSM, Non-con, Incest etc Are these authors so lacking in confidence in their own category to get good reviews that they feel it is necessary to dump them in LW.
how a college grad can exhibit so much stupidity and there is more to follow. TK U MLJ LV NV
He knew she was into blacks in college. Shouldn't have had anything to do with her then, just check her off the list as a black loving slut. This is their honeymoon and she is putting him down, ignoring him and fawning over the black guy. He made a big mistake of marrying her. Start the divorce proceeding as soon as you get back. She never was into him anyway and certainly is acting like it. Dump the slut as soon as you can before you get an STD or worse. PS: This story is typical cuck shit and the always blacks are better and have big dicks, what bullshit
I'm way ahead of you. She'll go on the yacht and get fucked and he'll yank off watching. ((((YAWN))))
Really huge dick guys always flaunt them and in my many years in gyms and such, the five biggest ones being four white guys and one black guy . So where does the big black dick idea come from . I guess porn where they're looking for huge cocks. I would of left the pig the first few minutes she ignored me for some other guy black or white on our honeymoon
I am rooting for the husband. Please have him grow some balls. She walks all over him. Flip and let her know who he really is!!!!!!
I actually think this is great. There is a sense of suspense in this story.
Can't wait for the tower contest and I hope she bangs the whole entourage.
Thanks for writing it.
When she you don't own me, why didn't he reply that if she intends breaking her vow "to forsaking all others" then it will be the shortest marriage on record no I can't stop you be you do so at your peril. If you do I shall immediately return home and you will be served on your return I don't intend to be a cuckold.
But he has no balls so he'll suffer his fate.
This is definitely my favorite story. Looking forward to the next episode, hoping Katie will suck and fuck huge black cocks in front of her husband...Keep up the good work. Greetings from The Netherlands.
While I thought this an ok first chapter, it is pretty fucking audacious to put the rest on a pay site. This chapter is as far from pro as t gets. And I mean story/cuck haters aside. Fuck off with your kindle bullshit
Another author that's is incapable of understanding why there are category's! This should be in the I.R. category and it is obviously going to be more sick,cuck,bullshit!
Why can't this site make a cuck category so we don't have to deal with this shit in the L.W. category???
Same old rote, bbc takes hot wife away from wimpy white husband. Where have we seen that before?
same old shit you got a bbc taking another white guys wife he might as well leave now and leave her to the bbc why does the black guy always win why not the white hubby
Written to troll the readers. A BBC? Really? I'm sure her husband would have packed his things, flown home without her and filed for an annulment. This was just stupid.
Why Would any Man put up with such disrespect .. Kick Her to the Curb and start Life over ..Yes Divorce is expensive but in a lot of cases it is worth it .. At Least they do not have any Kids ..
Just another misandrist, racist story on LW. In real life she'd end up with a disease and a divorce. What makes you, author, think that lots of white women are attracted negroes? It's not their cocks, because they aren't any bigger on average than whites' cocks. Do you think that it's the likely arrest record and low IQ that women find intensely erotic?
I hate the story. I am really upset that we can't vote ZERO stars. A big oversight on Literotica's part.
I just hate part1's with no part 2 but then again maybe that's a blessing in this case!
Interracial crap in the wrong category. If you like this garbage that's great for you. Just post it where it should be...in THE Interracial Love Category. You know, where people looking for interracial stories might actually start their search for that stuff?!
Why would he keep the whore get rid of the slut now she will
Only do this to him later and he will wish he had gotten rid before
Just as well that the story ends in midair as it wasn’t going anywhere—like a TV series that has a cliffhanger season finale and then is cancelled.
Martin made so many mistakes to get to where he finds himself in the end:
1) There was something Katie needed with Martin, but if the girl loves rap and dates mostly black guys, that’s what she really wants and sooner or later (in this story, it’s sooner) the white hubby is going to get cucked.
2) You know your girl has a thing for black guys, so Jamaica is the LAST place you want to go for your honeymoon!!! An Alaskan cruise would be a much smarter idea. what was he thinking?
3) As Martin becomes aware of the threat, he doesn’t curb the drinking or tokeing — really stupid! If they go on the yacht it’s all over.
Three possibilities for a Chapter 2:
1) Martin gets thrown overboard and drowns and Katie gets what she really wants in life.
2) Standard, textbook ending with Martin turned into a pitiful cuck, subservient to Katie and a never ending line of abusive bulls (yuck!)
3) Katie gets her wish with Jamal, Prince Willy and their whole entourage; Martin gets it on video; he changes his plane reservation and leaves for home, taking her plane ticket, passport and all other ID, credit cards and cash; flies home and files for an annulment. By the time Katie finally makes it back, Martin is long gone!