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English
wonderful
point of view.
Things do become magnified at times like that..and you never forget.
A sad but beautiful read
Thank you
perkspective
I like the way you write. You have a certain perspective that I enjoy. I think your second stanza was too wordy and repetitive of the same word choices, but I still enjoyed your perspective. You've got this poetic thing happening everytime you put down words to paper. Not my favorite of yours, could use a little tweaking, but you've got potential and I'll be watching for more of your stuff. I think I'm a fan.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
Although you have some good images, it seems like you spend so much time and effort flushing out the image of this action that I get lost and lose the image you're going for before I'm done with the poem. There are very strong moments in this poem, and you have a great handle on poetic tools, but there are things that keep me from loving this poem. First off, the imagery thing I just mentioned. Secondly, eyes don't watch, people do through the eyes. And thirdly, I just didn't get the three paragraphs part, but maybe that's just me. I do like your style in general, but I felt like this one tried too hard.
you use the words petal and water too
much in the first half of the poem. Other than that, I do like it. Nice job.
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