Thanks. The last paragraph was the most interesting of all...a nice surprise. I had to read it several times, however, because it wasn't clear. Better grammar and construction would have helped.
by
Anonymous03/17/05
got incoherent at the end
that last paragraph was a bit incoherent. you state clearly the baby is brother Allen's because husband Dave had a vasectomy - but didn't husband Dave then know Karen the wife was cheating on him with someone?
and when did Dave the hubby get a vasectomy reversed, and why is that brought up?
What, do you only read to correct the grammar and fault the story line ? It is real simple, Dave and his sister are an incest couple just like Karen and Allen : as the author ends with..........the 4 of us got to be a real close family. READ THE STORY FOR THE STORY, NOT TO FIND THE MISTAKES
by
Anonymous08/01/06
Uh
If the person making the comment hadnt explained it, I never would have got it. And Im not really that dense. :P don't get so excited at the end of the story that you forget to make sure its understandable :) it can make or break a story for some people.
by
Anonymous10/10/09
English
Your written English is the worst i`v seen on this site so far. I had to go back and read paragraphs twice to make any sense of it. I gave up half way through.
English
The Last Paragraph
Thanks. The last paragraph was the most interesting of all...a nice surprise. I had to read it several times, however, because it wasn't clear. Better grammar and construction would have helped.
got incoherent at the end
that last paragraph was a bit incoherent. you state clearly the baby is brother Allen's because husband Dave had a vasectomy - but didn't husband Dave then know Karen the wife was cheating on him with someone?
and when did Dave the hubby get a vasectomy reversed, and why is that brought up?
and where does Dave's sister come into the mix?
YOU GOT CONFUSED ???
What, do you only read to correct the grammar and fault the story line ? It is real simple, Dave and his sister are an incest couple just like Karen and Allen : as the author ends with..........the 4 of us got to be a real close family. READ THE STORY FOR THE STORY, NOT TO FIND THE MISTAKES
Uh
If the person making the comment hadnt explained it, I never would have got it. And Im not really that dense. :P don't get so excited at the end of the story that you forget to make sure its understandable :) it can make or break a story for some people.
English
Your written English is the worst i`v seen on this site so far. I had to go back and read paragraphs twice to make any sense of it. I gave up half way through.
NICE
CONTINUE
A mess
Just...a rushed, badly written mess, sorry...
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