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English
There's
nothing like that lonely cigarette at night...
I miss that
Great poem, wonderful images, and you capture the mood perfectly
thank you
Fine....
...mood piece -- another leap in your writing. Very good job done here with atmosphere.
perkspective
I'm not sure about the "give thanks" line. It seems so jagged and abrupt and completely underrates your poem and experience, it's like saying I love you, when it's so much more than that... get what I'm saying? Maybe the last stanza is completely superfluous. I get that you love it, just by being there, but that you're living there I didn't get. I'd rework that somehow. In spite of that little bit of nothing. This poem really rocks. I was there, and I just love your "I inhale the smoke
with wisterias
sweet scent" That's just bloody delicious.
This has strong moments
Though some of it felt very familiar, like an old poem I can never place, I liked the imagery enough to be drawn in. Why is it that wisteria always winds itself into a poem like this? *laughing* I would like to see you play with something similar, but make it less fragmented in grammatical construct. Keep on writing because this shows great promise of even better to come. Good job.
sigh sigh!
i felt this one
tugged at my heart strings
very nice read tt.
after this part
"Still summers night
standing naked
cigarette in mouth"
I got the image stuck in my head and I was so distracted that I had to read the darn poem again. lol
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