All Comments on 'Billie - Scarred for Life Ep. 01'

This one isn't predictable at all.

I've never tried to read a more boring story. I think trolling is what you're best at.

You writing instruction manuals for people with insomnia? I'll be sure to tune in to parts two and three, next time I need a nap.

Here or anywhere. Why weren't you invited to legends day? I want my money back. This is just too awesome to be described. What I want to know is, what is cheating, really? Is it when a penis goes in a vagina? I just know you're going to answer that burning question of the ages.

Hard to tell sometimes. One of the worst stories ever written. There was nothing here. Putting words next to each other isn't writing.

You can't be serious. You're just trolling, right? This is a story? I can't believe you posted this, unless it's supposed to be a joke. I'm not laughing, so I guess it wasn't a good joke.

I wanted to return the favor and tell you how great your story is and how much I admire your writing, but then you didn't know it was me, so I'm under no obligation. You should really go back and finish the last series you started. At least it was mildly interesting. This is not.

Hey, at least you got that cesarean scar tag in there. Nothing as sexy and entertaining as a good cesarean scar story. I gave it a five, of course, because I'm hoping the next chapter will have a vasectomy scar! I'm really into scars.

Your stories are as boring and inane as your comments on OTHER stories.

I thought, what a waste of time. Then I read Kimi's comment and it was worth it. Scars! LMAO

I've five starred luedon twice before . Like or dislike Lue, Don and grrrr Ray , they weren't generic characters like,Jim and Billie ( so far , it's early ). The introduction is where at some point the reader should be grabbed by lapels by author. So far Billie is in ' poor me' funk .

The well meaning but workaholic hubby, wife's depression and studly swim instructor clearly are recipe for mayhem. But so far outside of incidental booby brush , the narrative is nigh sommolent . No bad guy , no cliff hanger ....just " no 3rd baby fugue " from main character . Right or wrong , Loving Wives is largely a male demographic - angiquesophie and girlinthemoon showed how get the guys riled up on Legends day and still get their nervy agendas across.

Maybe luedon will too. She's done it before , but this installment flatlined from start to finish . Here's hoping next installment quits trundling down narrative runway and gets airborne.

Interesting start. As far as I see, everything points to Billie being lured into a threesome with her friends or possibly swinging with them without her husband Jim, who is always working. Still too early in the tale to say if this is the case, but interesting enough to keep reading. No rating yet..

Jim's more than just a bit flat as a character goes. He's so flat, I'm not even sure he can be called 2-dimensional.

The story is not only building a foundation to rationalize Billie's (soon to be) cheating on Jim (from Billie's perspective), but it's also going a long way towards 'motivating' it - still a bit shy of trying to 'justify' it, at least for now.

And it's OK to have fantasies involving non-spouses. I'm not with you (or Billie) that it's some life altering event.

People are human, I get that... Billie can be human... no problem there... but shouldn't a human have to deal with being married to another human being? Please make this story more engaging by making Jim a human too.

Thank you for your contribution.

Did you upload or did you just want us to Upchuck!

Annony the insane hater of everything needs to be banned.

You've placed the ball on the tee. Now knock it out of the park. (Sorry, it's a baseball reference. I don't know any cricket analogies.)

You've established Billie's character well, and have explained her motivations for what is certain to come. Because Billie is a woman, this will infuriate the BTB crowd. Hell, they're already raising their pitchforks and torches and nothing has even happened yet! What was it that you recently wrote? "Fishers don't go fishing to entertain the fish?" I'm sure I mangled that quote, but you get my point.

Anyway, job well done, so far. I eagerly await the next chapter.

Re. Kimi, isn't it strange that she took the time to not only read your story but leave a comment? Isn't she constantly telling you that she hates you? Whenever you address her directly, she delivers one of her trademark snide comments ordering you not to address her. Yet she comments on your story? It's almost as if she visits this site for no other reason than to issue snarky, grade-school-level, insults, anonymously, to strangers she will never meet. Can you imagine how pathetic she must be?

If anybody needs to be banned it's you Bonnie. Oh, wait you already were banned, that's why you have to post anonymous. Go stick something up your ass and stroll the neighborhood for some cream pies. Do you even read these stories, or just troll like always?

You can always depend on swingerjoe to give you raving reviews. What's a little stretching the truth among friends. And as always, you can also count on him to attack another reader, even though his name wasn't mentioned. Normal behavior, snarky remarks included.

As far as story, LSD's was an appropriate evaluation. No further comment required.

I'm not sure what to say about this sad story. It seemed to move at a glacial pace, the characters weren't very likable and the dialogue was mediocre to say the very least. Nothing entertaining about this mess.

1 star

into a young woman's mind set after a difficult birth, leading to infertility and loss of ability to orgasm. Somewhat common problem, especially years ago when Caesareans were somewhat of a wholesale butchering. the insights into how this made the young mother feel are quite revealing. Nice job and look fwd to more.

I just came to see if Kimi1990 would comment and how much that would make Swinger Joe foam at the mouth. I was not disappointed. Kimi, I love you. Please put a picture on your profile!

Luedon,

This first chapter is a good hook, although I worry that it could go a direction that I don't personally care for. The couple so far have been able to deal with everything thrown their way, after quite a bit of difficulty in some cases.

The current situation feels like the story is balancing on the edge of a cliff. This could be a very deep and dramatic tale about their lives, and how they deal with things...

OR

This could simply end up as an excuse for them to open their marriage and swing. If the story goes that route, that's normally not my cup of tea. I still gave this part a 5* as it has a LOT of potential. Should the story go a route that I don't normally care for, well I will likely forego reading the rest. I won't flame the story, just thank you for sharing and looking forward to whatever you may post in the future.

Thanks,

RNebular

Swingerjoe, the bully of Lit, no one can have an opinion that is different, he sees things in comments that simply aren't there, which suggests they hit close to home for the bully who calls himself Swingerjoe and thinks monogamy is whatever you choose it to be.

That has a nice ring to it, but it seems a little bit misplaced, no? I mean, who is the real bully: the person who personally attack she every author on this site (outside of her clique, of course) with juvenile sarcasm and mocking ridicule? Or the person who defends those she attacks?

I’m pretty sure I saw a comment from Luedon on Blackrandl1958’s last story. That’s someone Luedon claims has “excommunicated” her. You’ve tried to make comments on MFH’s stories and Vandimonium1’s stories, after those two made comments that they didn’t want you commenting on their stories. They just delete you. You even made some asshole comment on KK’s thank you post and the March 17 announcement. You think anyone wanted you there? Talk about pathetic! You’re the most pathetic dickwad out there.

What's the matter, jojo, you and Luedon can't take what you dish out?

I liked it, but it wasn't smooth. I now see what you mean when you say that switching POV's is distracting. Even though you used an omnipresent tone, the switching still threw me off a little. If you are going to switch between people, you might as well use 1st person. Atleast that's my opinion, for what its worth.

I like the emotional connection between her scar and her feelings of inadequacy. It made me feel for her. I also like the way she made comparisons between the two lovers in the beginning. I'm guessing it's foreshadowing for future chapters and is showing how she will process decisions if and when she takes the dive into "slutdom".

Decent 1st chapter. Lets see how this plays out.

I get you are telling a story, but wouldn't it be preferable to let the characters tell the story? Its obvious that Billie is going to fuck Roman, and maybe Jana too? I just don't see the connection between Billie's feelings of inadequacy and disappointment, and her developing lust for Roman. You're making Billie to be a very shallow stupid and immature woman. Which means when Billie starts doing selfish thoughtless destructive actions, it will be anti climatic: she's a stupid bitch, of course she's going to fuck up her life and her marriage. That's what stupid bitches, and stupid assholes, do every day. No drama, no surprises, just, Oh, you're really hot looking, and I'm without scruples or self respect, so let's fuck. Of course Billie will attempt to justify her betrayal, but it will just make her look that much more ignorant.

So I expect this story to get very contrived and very sad. I will wait to rate the completed project, and hope you surprise me with Billie's inner strength and commitment to her husband and children. We'll see.

Most of the criticism seems to be directed at what people think you are going to write rather than what you have written and most of it is from people who will criticise you in any case. Don't be distracted. Scars seem to make your readers uncomfortable but they are integral to your story and a fact of life.

I hadn't heard the Redfern reference before but I wouldn't be getting off there any time soon (for non-Australians, think Harlem). And especially for swingerjoe, we play tee-ball here too but the cricket analogy would be "you've played yourself in, now open your shoulders".

I wasn't able to send you an e-mail from your biog page, and you don't give your location although I assume from your comment to SwingerJoe about cricket that you are from the land girt by sea.

The term 'Getting Off At Redfern' is a very old one, but it is still around. I heard it used on ABC radio a couple of months ago.

You say that critical comments have been aimed at what people think I am going to write in coming episodes. I'm not even sure myself what I will write. Right now, I have a fairly sure idea of what will be in the rest of Ep.3, but it's not yet engraved in stone. Ep.2 has just been submitted and it isn't anything like what I thought it would be when I first had the idea for Billie and her scar.

(The idea came from a woman I knew way back then who had the same caesarean as Billie, and then went on a rampage of adulterous one-night stands to prove to herself that she was still as sexy as she had been when younger.)

It's been an interesting experiment.

Lue

I sat down to read a story and must have nodded off. There was a strange woman with the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. She was being chased by a scar a three little literotica gnomes yelling at her to do it, do it, do it! In the end she drowned. Weird.

Thanks for sharing. I can empathize with the wife, I have seen co workers struggle with infertility, self image, and miscarriage issues. Even with us oldsters advising caution the moms almost wrecked their marriages. Keep on chooglin! OldBearSwitch

I was becoming worried. Where was lamebrain? But here he/she/it is, describing my story as "usual shit".

"Usual" ?? I thought my story was rather unusual. As the delightful Kimi says, "Nothing as sexy and entertaining as a good cesarean scar story."

Lue

This is deep and one way a woman can feel after giving birth. I can't wrap the thought in any case how a person tells someone else what there thinking and not the person they love (spouse). I know post partdom is a real and serious issue that woman go through in all different degrees after giving birth. When we were in our early twenties working out a the gym my friend kindly asked this older woman if she need a spot. She was late thirties and became very friendly and thankful and started to talk as friends. It started as conversation after and during workouts to a coffee after to some kissing in the car to blow jobs and sixty ones in her mini van. He being young thought he hit the jackpot fucking a hot married mother when ever. Soon skipping workouts to go to the hotel . He used her every way you could think of sexually. Until they got caught about six months into it with her riding him with his dick up her ass. Hubby came in with a bat but just threw it on the floor and cried. He said you just destroyed our Lovie and everyone were connected to and how much he loved her and way had she been refuseing him since the baby was born but she would fuck some kid like a whore in a hotel. He legend and it clicked for them both . He felt terrible because he thought he husband was a dick and not giving her attention and she realized finally that she needed a doctor who than gave her mess to help with the post pardon . This kid had balls around three months later reached out to the hubby who agreed to meet. He explained how it was a friendship and he thought that he was ignoring her so they escalated to sex and how sorry he was that he didn't know and hoped their family would stay together. Hubby explained how it was intent to kill him but once he saw them in the act it just broke his heart. They did go to counciling and stayed together. We saw them once in a while in the gym a year later for about a year for a couple of years. She would alway look away or put her head down and the hubby would just give a head nod. They moved but her last time at the gym she went up to my friend and apologized and told him how great he was and she was sorry that she almost lost her family but the time with was great and wolf alway be remembered. He from that time on would never look at an attached woman again realizing the damage it does and you never really know the truth about what's going on

This story has slow build up but it flows smoothy and easy to follow. I am looking forward to seeing the next chapter. Thanks for sharing author! *****

Ep.02 has been published today (14th April) but something has gone wrong with the handles for voting and comments. I have tried to switch them on, but they won't go. Maybe drop your notes here instead?

Lue

Glad I saw this.

There is nothing wrong with fantasizing during sex. Whatever works in your mind usually coincides with physical pleasure. Crossing the line changes everything. Still no rating. Needs more.

So now Billie is fantasizing and the locus of those carnal pipe dreams isn't her spouse? Whoopie. She's lying to husband about the inspiration for heated coupling because it would hurt his feelings . Uh-huh, well that's her and every other woman in relationship about an hour after returning from Ryan Gosling movie " Drive " in 2011.

Worst of all Billie is freaking out about surgical scar from operation after having 2nd kid (which she was dubious about having ) and now can't have a third, so now the carnal pressure cooker is buckling under pent up pressure and is going to explode , ruinously scalding all and sundry characters in vicinity.

Actually no its not. Because luedon has a decent but VERY challenging premise that is eluding her ability to convince me to empathize with main character mental disorder. Check what Casseventes and Gena Rowlands did in " A Woman Under the Influence " or Poe with " The Tell Tale Heart " . luedon who is so often the " voice of reason and sympathy " in comment forum is bowdlerizing herself as an author.

Keeping the torn and frayed main character at all times sympathetic - all her deviations from norm have been blips and micro- misdemeanors so far. I know luedon admires girlinthemoon and angiquesophie. One thing that twosome6 is not afraid of is letting their lead characters be BITCHES in multiple designated scenes throughout story, from start to finish..

It's high time for this waif / victim of circumstance loop to go by wayside .Time's a wastin'. Good luck.

"a woman I knew way back then who had the same caesarean as Billie, and then went on a rampage of adulterous one-night stands to prove to herself that she was still as sexy as she had been when younger."

This excuse/reason is one of the lamest out there. Men, especially men who would fuck married women, don't fuck them because they're sexy, they fuck them because they're available. Back in my younger, cruder days there was an expression, a "brown bag date." That was a date that you brought a bag to put over her head so that you could screw her. Then there was the "two-bagger." That was a date so ugly that you brought TWO bags, one to put over YOUR head in case the one over her head broke.

The bottom line is, does your HUSBAND find you sexy/attractive? If he does, then not "feeling sexy" is just an excuse to cheat.

The fact that she can orgasm to her fantasy proves that there is no physical reason she can't orgasm, that it's all in her head. She needs counseling, not an affair.

Just because her husband noticed the difference in her response doesn't mean that he had been dissatisfied before. Again, it's all in her head, get some help.

I think we all expected Billie to take that next step toward inevitable adultery in Chapter Two, and yet she managed to stay true. Instead of fantasizing about being with another man, she now fantasizes about being a different woman, living vicariously through her friend's sexy exploits. This is a much "safer" fantasy by her reasoning, and allows her to embrace it fully enough to finally experience that elusive orgasm with hubby.

I think the great unanswered question here is: why does she need to fantasize in order to achieve orgasm with her husband? And once she solves that riddle, what will she do about it?

I honestly don't know where this story is heading. And that's exactly the type of story I enjoy. Excellent work so far.

You would seriously fuck an ugly woman simply because she's available??

Yikes.

In the future, please don't speak on behalf of all men!

As usual you take the most extreme portion of my comment and ignore the basic point:

Other men wanting to fuck her is NOT proof that she is sexy.

While we're on the subject, the fact that her husband still desires her DESPITE her PERCEIVED unattractiveness, is proof of a love and devotion that should be rewarded, not punished.

SB, my note about the lady I knew who had a similar problem to Billie and then conducted a series of adulterous one-night stands drew your comment that included 'not "feeling sexy" is just an excuse to cheat.'

If that's "just an excuse", what do you think the real reason may be for a woman like her to cheat? All human behaviour has a motive, more often than not an unconscious motive. What do you believe motivates cheating by a woman like that?

Lue

Wait, wait, don't tell me! People who cheat do it because they're sociopath sluts, right? Do I get a prize?

There can be many reasons. Maybe, as the Anon says, she's a slut! Maybe she's one of those women who "can't be satisfied by one man." Who knows? Maybe CONSCIOUSLY she doesn't "want" to cheat, and she's using this to rationalize her sub-conscious desire. I'm just saying that just because other men want to fuck her doesn't mean that she's sexy? Despite Joe's twisting my words, guys want to fuck! She isn't ugly, she just has some ugly scarring. If she picks some guy up, and he sees an ugly scar when she gets undressed, is he going to throw her out? Not likely!

Indeed, SB, there can be many reasons and very rarely will the person be consciously aware of those reasons. I asked the lady why she was doing what she was doing and she said she didn't know. But it was clear to others that she was feeling insecure after the C-section. Why not go to husband to obtain confirmation? She couldn't explain that either.

The fact that many men will take advantage of such a woman is not really part of the diagnosis. That merely gives her opportunity to act out her urges.

If you haven't already encountered the JoHari Window, may I suggest that it gives a very simple but beautifully explanatory model of self-and-other perceptions.

Lue

Ps: 'Don' wasn't one of those who took advantage, despite having the offer on several occasions.

While you're saying NOW that she "didn't know" why she was doing it, your original statement was she "went on a rampage of adulterous one-night stands to prove to herself that she was still as sexy."

I can only repeat my original statement that just because other guys are willing to fuck her does NOT mean that she is still sexy, and her husband's willingness to love her, both emotionally and physically, despite her PERCEIVED lack of sexiness is proof of his love that should be respected, not shat upon!

Luedon , I'm following your lead here and only reading the comments . Just like yourself , I'm not reading much LW anymore , unless I know it's looks to be a storyline that I know I'll enjoy .

Now , to the hubaloo going on between sbrooks , Joe and yourself . I personally have known several men who would " screw a snake if someone would hold it " , that's just the sad fact of the matter . When I was in the Navy , their were two guys who had a contest to see which could sleep with the "largest " Lady , and had to have her underwear to prove it ! I am still mentally scarred by those " Trophies " . I'm only telling this to let you know that yes there are males ( I won't call them men ) out there who give into the most animalistic parts of human nature. Probably some females are just the same , but hide it better or at least do not publicly brag about it.

Now as to the reasoning behind this acquaintance of yours who went on a promiscuous spree after having a c-section , I haven't a clue to whether it was consciously done or subconsciously , but regardless , she wouldn't stay married to me if she were my wife . That would definitely be a conscious decision on my end .

Of course there are some men who would fuck a farm animal if given the opportunity. My only objection to sbrooks speaking on behalf of all men. But regardless of that, how does any of that pertain to this story? The woman in this story -- so far -- has only fantasizes about being with another man. Is thoughtcrime now enforced in the LW universe?

Let's see where luedon takes this story before we start hurling stones.

I wasn't talking about all men, simply that the fact that there are men that will fuck her doesn't mean that she is sexy.

Interesting topic. Frustrating to read. Fantasizing about someone else, even someone you know, isn't necessarily bad. It certainly isn't cheating unless intent goes along with it. But it's the lack of communication, the lack of trust, that will kill this marriage--even if she never goes further with Roman.

Quite the battle raging below. Running in circles, you lot. It's totally irrelevant whether some men or all men have no standards, or whether a woman actually *is* sexy when she sleeps around. This mindset and scenario are totally realistic, an I'm curious where you'll take it.

You say you're curious where I'll take it. So was I, but I think I've now got it sorted out in my mind. The interesting experiment has been transferring some things that have from time to time occurred in my own mind to being within Billie's mind.

Surely other people have occasionally thought of something or somebody else whilst in the middle of a sexual episode? As I said in another story, "the man between my legs was not the man between my ears."

I should have the words together to describe what Billie does in a few days time. It's been an interesting exploration from my viewpoint as a writer, starting with one idea and ending up with something quite different.

Because of the hiccup with the rating/comment handles for Episode 2, I don't know whether your comment comes after reading both episodes published thus far, or just the first one. I look forward to your further comments. Episode 2 now accepts comments. Episode 3 in a week or so.

Lue

It relates to this story in that, while she hasn't cheated YET, her perceived lack of attractiveness is what is leading her down this path, and although lue walked it back later, that was what drove her friend/acquaintance in a similar situation to cheat.

I assume you are referring to my later clarification of the motivation of the woman I knew who "went on a rampage of adulterous one-night stands".

Maybe I cold have chosen my words better in the original reference to her, but I never intended to suggest that she was consciously aware of her motives. That was our diagnosis, and the diagnosis of others who knew her.

Billie seems to have become more consciously aware of what is driving her behaviour than was the woman who provided my original model. Billie has taken on a life of her own as the story developed.

Lue

Thanks for the clarification.

I do still stand by my other point, that since she COULD orgasm during her fantasy, then her failure to orgasm isn't physical and should be addressed through counseling.

That runs from belly button to mons.

I haven't been to Oz since '90, and my medical training is limited to first aid, but that shit right 'chere...proves this is fictional.

Spectacularly well written story introduction. I'd give it a 20 if I could. If this submission didn't earn a >4.50 nothing should. I added it to favorites (my only) and you as a favorite author. I knew I wouldn't be disappointed.

Bill

Seems to be an outline for a story more than story.

I'm not Luedon's advocate, thank God (I would have to sabotage my own case), but aren't you the pathetic little toad? Your racist screed got the ultimate insult, perhaps the lowest score in the history of LW, and everyone now knows you for the racist excrement you are., Luedon called you out, so you come and bomb her story? That is pathetic, dude, even for you. I have few expectations for someone as vile as you, but that is just petty and vindictive. At least judge it on the merits of the story, not your racist rage.

I was curious after you left such an eloquent (and very kind) comment on my story. I thought that like me, you may have pieces of yourself in your writing. There is so much that we as authors lend to our stories from our own personal experiences and emotions. Consider it my attempt of getting to know you a bit better. :)

I enjoyed reading this first chapter. The build up of Billie's character was necessary for a story such as this. Emotions need reasons and explanations to be believable in stories. I found your strategy to be thoughtful and strategic, but unfortunately I can see from the comments that many do not seem to believe the same. The LW category seems impossibly scary and judgmental so I do not believe I will attempt writing one anytime soon. I applaud you for having such thick skin.

The one person that I truly dislike in this story is Jim. He doesn't come off as a bad person and he's certainly a loving husband, but I found myself angry with him that he was willing to risk his wife's life over the need to have a son. That kind of thought process is very self-serving, almost like he needs his wife to birth him a son so that he can feel more like a man in front of his own father. I think it takes a truly gifted writer to somehow manage to make a likable character have such realistic flaws that you can't help but get mad at the character.

I'm so glad you commented on my story. I'm glad to have discovered your work. I will be reading the rest of the series in these next few days.

x cheers,

Nora

The man upon whom Jim was based was very likeable in real life. He was just a product of his upbringing. Even in the 70s the patriarchy still reigned supreme in the households of many family businesses like the Smalls.

You really should take courage in both hands and try writing a LW story. The commentariat here is so much more involved than in other categories. Your demonstrated skill with describing emotions in your story 'Renascence' would go down well.

I attract criticism from many among the LW commentariat, partly because of my first story (Lue to Lucy) and partly because of my expressed opinions in the comments. It all makes for great entertainment.

Lue

A very interesting story, will look to see where you go with it. The eternal battle of the comments goes on. I personally do not care why a person cheats. There is simply no excuse to cheat. Ever.

Ha ha, getting off at Redfern brings back memories.

Not of sex, just getting off at Redfern.

I had thought that 'getting off at Redfern' was one of those old sayings that had died out years ago, but I heard it used a couple of years ago on an ABC program.

Lue