All Comments on 'Ashley's Corruption'

I will have to change underwear.

Very nice keep it up.

One of the best stories on the site. Awesome work, hope to see more like it.

I am hoping for a continuation. That'd be...awesome. I love it. So good.

How about having the house geek blackmail her now.

Hey guys,

I really appreciate the nice words! :)

I might continue the story. I have some storylines in my head, but I don't want to force it. Also, I have big exams coming up to study to, so you might have to wait for a while :(

Anyway, love you guys and any feedback is welcome, even if it's negative!

Kisses,

A

What I want to know is if you have ever been fucked like this? How close is this to a real experience for you and if not, where did it come from? Inquiring minds want to know.

Love the setup - how much she hates the guy. And now, after their romp, she hates him even more.

Looking forward to more chapters where she has to submit to avoid the publishing of the pictures, taken on her own spy pen (of course it didn't get wet). I'm sure Max will console her guilt toward Craig by reminding her that he lied to her anyway, so why not enjoy their sessions.

Great premise. Keep it going. Maybe even a part 3 where I'd love to read the sentence, "If there was anyone Ashley hated more than Max, it was ..." :)

I love your character's hesitance, please continue to write more! I check back frequently, you're such a talented writer!

Give us a literary experience of cutting off his balls!!!

I've had a big tit fetish all my life and would work on getting any woman to bed that had a nice pair. That is textbook setup and I can guarantee it would work and has. Good story.

I'm sorry, but your vocabulary is limited and full of errors. One: " we changed numbers." should be "we exchanged numbers". What you wrote means they changed the numbers from 1 ,2, 3, to 6, 7, 8. Also, you wrote, "in all likeliness". You meant, "in all likelihood". There are more and I didn't even finish page 1. I cannot read such a slow moving story with such terrible errors and so full of cliches. Sorry. But if you take this right, you will hone this or your next story and be better for it. It is up to you.

Such a great original story!

I appreciate the honest feedback! I'm not a native speaker and I don't live in an English-speaking country, but I try to improve my vocabulary and grammar everyday by reading. Hopefully one day I won't make any mistakes. :)

As for some other feedback I got: a lot of people asked me if my stories are based on personal experience. Although the storylines are fictitious, the sex scenes are probably based about 50% on my experiences and 50% on my fantasies. But I won't go into more details. ;)

And just a quick note: I don't reply to private feedback, because I want to keep my privacy, but I read every word you send me and you guys are loveliest. Thank you for all the compliments and encouragement. :)

....when Massaged By A Nerd is still not done?

Oh, if it were only that easy... English isn't your first language but I only read a couple of lines that I thought were typos, you did very well. The story was different and entertaining, what more can one ask for? Please keep writing!

Don't worry my dear, your English is far more superior than many "native" English speakers. I also enjoy your stories very, very much. Keep up the good work!

Brilliant story, very creative and exciting to read. Please don't make us wait any longer for more !

Please, please do continue this! It's soooo fucking hot! I come back to it whenever my boyfriend is unable to satisfy me.

I keep re-reading this please more.

Please, I am sure with the pleasure Ashley received from Max she would come back for more. Please write another chapter. Love it and I keep re-reading it.

I have been anxiously awaiting your next contribution to this site. You're a great writer and I want more either continuations of your previous stories, or something new. please, I look for something from you every day.

They're not the only one! I check this page every day for a continuation or something!

Really like how the story comes together at the end. Fantastic stuff, hope you write more!

I would like a continutation to this story, but what I really want is more stories from you. You're an excellent writer and I look for a new story from you every day. Please write more

Please write more !

If anything, I'd like to see Craig's response to this and what he does to Max in retribution.

The best Christmas present would be an equally-hot chapter two!!

Please continue! This is fantastic stuff!!

Good story really but wish the guy was more like Mark (the nerd). I am so obsessed with his character ughh

Please continue this story! I need to know how Ashley copes with the realization of her true nature, you know?

Loved it, corruption is a massive turn on for me.

The only change I would make is to have her spout more feminist vitriol, it makes her crushing defeat even more sweet.

asianToy

The ending made me lose all arousal.

Could you write two versions of this?

One where he ended up being a semi-decent human being?

The person who said you write better than many native English speakers is correct, while there are errors, they don't betray that English is your second language which is very impressive.

You have a natural flow to your writing and are a gifted storyteller, I hope you return to it.

Please continue with your wonderful style of writing my dear.

This was so poorly written. Corruption happens gradually, not instantaneously. A better story to read through to see a great way to write this all is Korrupting Kayla.

The fact that this all happens in such a short time span is bad. I kept expecting things to be a little more drawn out so as to make sense, but since it didn't, it just stretched disbelief too far.

She hates the guy and just because he annoys her with rude questions she decides to keep going further? She only had 3 drinks, and it was less than 5 minutes after she drank them that we are supposed to believe she is drunk, even though she never acted drunk, nor was she acting drunk even after sex? Have her stumble or slur words or forget stuff. The way she was acting was not drunk at all, especially because she kept clearly and cogently analyzing everything. And why did she keep drinking when she didn't want to in the first place? Why not just storm out pissed off at him? Any normal person (which you wrote her as) would just leave somebody they hated.

Having them be together for longer like a whole afternoon and evening where she keeps drinking (dumb that she even started though instead of saying Screw You and leaving) would have worked, or having him give her "normal" drinks that he spiked so she doesn't realize she is getting drunk would have been better. Or he could have drugged her, or blackmailed her somehow, or threatened her in some way.

If she wasn't such a smart person it would be more believable too. Have her be an airhead/bimbo type who falls for his obvious bullshit. This character knew he was being a jerk and sexually harassing her, but still decided to stay and strip for him to prove him wrong? The character you built for her makes no sense making those decisions, especially because she didn't have enough time to get drunk, nor did she act drunk at all, especially at the end after she left and was still acting perfectly sober. You say the whole "Alcohol removes the inhibitions" line, but she never acted drunk at any point in the whole story, even at the end when she more believably would be feeling drunk.

The fact that you add the tiny thing at the end of how she wanted this all along makes it worse. Like you couldn't think of a way for this to be believable, so you just hastily added "By the way, she um like wanted to sleep with him the whole time. Okay bye." It is like if at the end of Star Wars Ep. 3, Anakin talks to Obi Wan for 5 minutes and Obi Wan agrees to betray and kill the Jedi, and the only explanation we get is Obi Wan saying "I guess I was evil all along." Nobody would buy it and it would just sound forced.

There was some really hot scenes in this that could have been great with the proper build up to it, but just having her have sex with a guy (which she hates and wants to destroy) in such a short span of time just to prove him wrong is so unbelievable and forced that it ruins the story.

I think you could do an excellent job of writing a corruption story if you just made the time span bigger. Build it up over time, have her wonder why she always wants to have sex after she sees Max playing volleyball, have her get aroused by something else, like she is masturbating and then Max shows up to do the project and she has to stop right before she cums, have her want to do submissive things with Craig and always be yearning for somebody to control her more. Give breadcrumbs and foreshadowing so that her eventually wanting to have sex makes more sense.

As I said, a good one to read through to see a great way to write this all is Korrupting Kayla. It starts slow and gradually builds up to things, sometimes things get a little more difficult to believe, but never to the point of it being unbelievable.

Is lifting your hips to help him remove your panties consent.

I heard don't and stop a few times.

Omg I was looking for this story! I read it so long ago when I didn't have an account I think. I have been looking for this single story and by chance I found it again thanks to another story. It is 1 of my favorites and it is very memorable.

5⭐

amazing detailed realizaion of a slut by the slut herself

please continue it what happened next?

Good lord. What a juvenile piece of cat dung

So the author does not know what consent is nor how alcohol works............................................... Someone needs to be carded.

Always loved this story. Very hot.

High quality Erotica

What an incredibly sexy story! You are an excellent writer. Please write more!

The last paragraph of this story, where she discovered her "true self" should be explored more.

This story has too much potential for a sequel. How is she going to act around her boyfriend now, will she be thinking about another guys dick and how it fucked her better? Wouldn't it be hot if she got knocked up while cheating only to let her boyfriend think he's the father to raise the kid? How will she act around Max next time they see each other in public and/or in private?

I keep coming and reading this great story over and over, just excellent work. I definitely agree with other commenters that this story deserves a sequel. I think the burrogirl18 is a bit perfectionist, that's why she doesn't release many stories... which is fine, since the outcome is obvious. However, this situation avoids us from enjoying her deliciously hot brain more. Keep up the good work!

Outside of the fact that she gives in way too quickly I generally like this since a lot of the parts were very hot.

You said her boobs gave her back pains but she's an E-cup. Large breasts don't cause back pain. Poor posture does, and many women with large breasts have poor posture because of becoming self-conscious thanks to staring or bullying about their breasts when they're in high school or middle school. Large breasts don't directly cause back pain, only indirectly. But you said she was proud of her breasts, so she shouldn't have the poor posture that would cause back pain. You pushed an untrue stereotype about busty women and lost me in the first paragraph...

Sequel please

Kinda sucks this never got another chapter. We never got to see the fallout of her corruption, like how she or Max are going to react next time they see each other. Would have been great if she were to have been impregnated by Max, especially if Craig never found out and raised the kid thinking he is the father

I think a follow up where she bangs all the guys in the frat house is pretty logical.