All Comments on 'Again repeated'

~respectful of this artist as one who wants honest feedback~

I have never quite figured out your capitalization choices, but it is your signature, and I am sure you have reasons :)

I have a few suggestions and comments, I am just in that kind of mood. Maybe I miss YDD. Who knows. Nothing personal, okay?

"Yet He saw her as the first day He met her....

fragile like a glass soul...."

you could cut this to

"Yet He saw her as the first day He met her....

a glass soul...."

"Glommed they were tight as a seal"

are they tight as a seal, what kind of seal-- could you give a concrete example in this similie or are they the seal?

(and I thought of the aquatic mammal when reading this but that is my literal-visual brain at work)

"and then

Dipped below

Turgid waters, dank desires

her sweat mapped her brow

His tangled the chest. "

I like the wet matted hair image

"risen twice and then brought down,

He kept on

far into the baying night,

but didn?t work

her cries and moans echoed

from the walls"

I do not understand what is happening in this verse-- what didn't work?

The overall scene is nice, I would like to have it delivered in a tighter picture, with fresh metaphor and underlying meaning.

Overall, it was a nice read but could use revision, it is definately worth it, and I know you can do it!

(no thermometer reading)

"fragile like a glass soul" is a lovely phrase. Rarely does the use of soul work so well in a poem.

*No longer using the thermometer.

At first glance, appears from use of caps to signify D/s relations.

The woman of his desires ~ epitomizes everything he could wish for.