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English
You are a fine example of our sick society.....
Your imagination is obviously limited...too limited to write a decent story on this fantasy sex site. Your last name offers a possible answer, your limitations are controlled by your failure to understand the full realm of an Anglo-American society that is free to do as we please.
Wife's One Night Stand
Dear Author,
The story has a plot somewhere, but I can't find it because your writing style is far too choppy. I'm certain you know what you wanted to say. It just didn't come through in a way I could understand.
Your ending is foolish
But normal in these "erotic fantasy" stories. I prefer my stories to cleave closer to the truth, with real life conswquences.
Once the ice has been broken on any human activity it is easier to do it again. I think you were trying to tell us that this escapade had no long term consequences. But the ice has been broken. Maybe she won't go back to Joe, but it will be infinitely easier to do Tom or Dick the next time they ask when she is in the mood.
huh?
Had to read twice to understand what I was reading. Agreed with anonomous that writing is choppy.
The Troubador hit nial on head as far as the story and consequences.
a BIG something is missing
Maybe more than just one thing missing... suggest to restructure
Yep something big is missing
and missing big time... got a good start hummm
Hummm Allow me to suggest,,,
Please revisit this and rewrite... you have a good idea... but the holes are everywhere... So I suggest redo and so label it a REVISIT or REWRITE
Huh????
If anybody understood ONE sentence in this potentially interesting tale, PLEASE clue me in!!!
Did Hubby and Sweetie (about 2 years into their marriage) decide to tell each other about their sexual history? Sounds like Sweetie's deflowering happened with her FIRST boyfriend (duh?), which is presumably Hi School. That relationship lasted about a year and a half, then her PREVIOUS (?? before first??) squeeze from her COLLEGE years hits on her, and that quickly seems to morph into a CURRENT extramarital affair!?!?
Aw, just fugit!
1*
lick
rambles a bit - got no fucking idea what went on except she got fucked in a hotel when she should not have. not sure about the house bullshit either.
Kinda interesting
I am not saying a rewrite would work... This is a strange one... I am thinking the writing is of a fractured thought process... With that said That Does Make Sense either..
throwing her full grown boobs around
sounds interesting, Joe. No cigar this time. 3*
No interest at all...
She was single, he was separating...All natural...No loving wife in this story....
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