All Comments on 'Another Time, Place'

I like what's happening here, but find I wanted a little more transition between the "old house on Glenwood" and the memory. The way it feels now, it's like two different pieces. Perhaps a little reference back at the end, or even restructuring to have the "old house" section at the end.

The poem's converstational section conjured up images of WWI, (or even WWII), perhaps because of the names. Then there's that burning bamboo reference.

more than possibility, this is already there for me. I had to read it twice, and I will read it again. Musical word combinantions- I like the way your mind works around words like impromptu dance partners. Masterful.

Those last two stanzas are stunning! Frightening in their power. JD4G is right about the disconnect with no. 1, though. Edit: "helmet"

I'm sure, but nevertheless, it was written superbly.

I respectfully disagree with the previous note about this piece being choppy in the transition. I think it reads like a flash back that two soldiers talk about and relive every day (Terrible mind-jobs?flash backs can be).

Thank you and great work.

James! Don't change a dot. This is so powerful just as it is. I wrote one once about a grandfather lyin in a hammock watching his g'kids play w/ a puppy while bullets zinged and mortars whistled- just out of sight but really there. Its so hard to get that idea across that the battles and the moments NEVER leave your head. You did superb! (superbly?)

Thanks

Old soldiers' recollections;

Could not have been handled any better

Between the here and now

And the grit of what once was.

One can feel the poignancy and the endearing affection from the first line of this heartfelt rendering.