I enjoyed the character development. However while I found parts of the story contradictory.. the lust and the love, to be exact, I can however understand there being elements of both. I enjoyed the shower scene, it was easy to imagine.
I think that the writing became a little too 'he did this, she did that' in the last few paragraphs, your strengths were better shown in the beginning. I appreciated the mention of the other firefighters having stopped their watching of them, that was sweet.
"She suck him gently, tenderly, licking, sucking, making love"...
One comment on this, suck should be sucked, and I think having 'sucking' later on in the sentence is a little bit repetitive.
Good luck with your future writings!
English
Steamy shower scene
I enjoyed the character development. However while I found parts of the story contradictory.. the lust and the love, to be exact, I can however understand there being elements of both. I enjoyed the shower scene, it was easy to imagine.
I think that the writing became a little too 'he did this, she did that' in the last few paragraphs, your strengths were better shown in the beginning. I appreciated the mention of the other firefighters having stopped their watching of them, that was sweet.
"She suck him gently, tenderly, licking, sucking, making love"...
One comment on this, suck should be sucked, and I think having 'sucking' later on in the sentence is a little bit repetitive.
Good luck with your future writings!
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