All Comments on 'Trapped in a Game Pt. 03'

I've come to find myself eagerly awaiting more chapters. Keep up the superb work.

SoB

Great work as usual. I hope this series is the start of a long and prosperous writing career.

As soon as you released the first chapter, what was it, a couple months ago? I was immediately hooked. You're an amazing writer and this has been an amazing (yet short, so far) book, but come on this chapter is heart-breaking! He reunites with Kelly and that is great, but Serra kissed him goodbye (almost) amd also almost committed suicide, it would be terribly sad for Josh to actually lose his sister :( heart-breaking!!! Can't wait (literally cannot wait another 20 or so days for the next one lol) for the next chapter, great work though! Sad-ish chapter but it keeps you on edge ;)

suddenly, smiles (I think you described every kind of smile a person can have and then repeated it) syntax and punctuation on that first page was horrible. The colon you're using followed by a space and then quotation marks is wrong! put a comma and delete that space because those two sentences go together.

you need to read a few books and read some 'on how to write' books, stephen king has a great one out. Stick to your style, but there is some fucking great advice in there.

This ending was a good cliffhanger (really like the ending). You can see you're an amateur writer, but there is potential there, but like most things, you have to learn about it as you practice it.

This series caught my interest immediately because of the vast number of similarities to 'Sword Art Online.' However, you made it your by incorporating "classes" and lore/creatures from D&D. There are a few nit picky things here and there that bother me, but so far it is a refreshing story. I hope you have at least started planning ahead with the story, specifically when it comes to how the players are going to get out of the game.

Also, coming rom a fan of D&D, it would be pretty cool if you somehow impement the ability or option to multiclass/prestige class (would be cool to allow this to "only" happen if a player gets the option when experiencing unique interactions/quests in the game). Just food for thought. Feel free to do with this idea as you see fit. Looking forward to the next installment of "Trapped in a Game."

Please moree! I've been chained to this story since part 1 and keep looking everyday if u have uploaded. Much love form germany

Continue! The grammar nazis gotta get their pokes in, of course. Just keep writing the adventure.

Please ignore the haters and keep writing I cannot wait for the next part.

I don't know anything about these games others have mentioned as I am way to old to have played them. My gaming ended with the Mario Brothers, but I love this story and the fact it is based around a game, even if it is out of my league. Looking forward to the next chapter and another adventure in fantasy.

Love it, just wish it was in SCIFI/Fantasy

It would be, but almost anything that involves sexual activity between blood relatives tends to get moved to this category anyway. :(

Please for the love of god don't kill josh Kelly or Serra 🙁

completely amazing, was checking daily for pt. 3.... now ill be checking daily for pt 4... cant wait...

I used to read a lot back in high school but after I graduated I had trouble finding stuff to read but I'm glad I found this because it was amazing, I came for the sex story but stayed for the plot!

I love this series. What makes me sad is the cliffhanger that this latest chapter left on and the wait before I can continue reading the story :P Great work

Absolutely fantastic. Thank you again for keeping up on this series. I eagerly anticipate each new chapter.

Dream Drive brought to another dimension, inside the incest category. Awesome!

Can't wait to read more many thanks to you kind sir.

Loving this series... can't wait for the next part which hopefully won't be too long :)

Just curious... how many chapters do you have planned out for the story?

As for the grammar nazis - funny how they're all anonymous comments. Next time sign in so that we're able to read your work...

Seeing you write is a breath of fresh air. Yes it's a sex story but the plot and details are so grasping you can't help but to want more. This is literary genius

This is the best sexy story I've ever read. At first I thought it was a SAO ripoff (which isnt even that bad) but you give your own spin to it. I love it. Keep up the good work. I can't wait for the next part :)

I've been on and off this site since 2004. This series is hitting top ten easy. Love the way you actually make it a story. Not just brother and sister fuck, fuck, oh I'm going to come....The End. Ive read stuff on here like that and it got 5 stars for a rating....out of ten stars I'd give you 9. Excellent work.

Like so many other readers here, I much anticipate next installment. I hope your private life allows you some time to write! Can hardly wait to find out what will happen! Kudos to the author!

This is the best story that I've ever read here or anywhere else, including bookstores and libraries. With enough sex in it to put it under the incest cat. I really want it to continue soon.

You are like fuckin J K Rowling... man. An expert in writing series. Just WOW....Please continue. Waiting eagerly.

I just wanted to compliment you on the way you make me feel like an insider to the gaming world. I am loving this story line and really look forward to the next installment.

Thank you

Seriously, this could be made into a film script. It held me from begin to end. I-Love-It. And I want to see this story in a theatre on big screen <3

I agree with one of the commentors, this should be a film. This story is excellent. Dear Lord what an amazing idea for a story. The fact that it has such little sex is simply amazing considering the site it's published on. Thank you! Keep up the work, PLEASE!!

I gotta say, this is amazing. That cliffhanger was just... Wow. I won't lie I really feel the main character so I gotta say this is just.... Amazing. Keep up the good work and I hope you can add more later

do you have any stories where the plots aren't stolen from video games or anime?

There are a lot of stories that have done the trapped in a video game trope even before Sword Art Online, if that's what you're talking about. Obviously anon (7/26/17) that commented just before me has done very little reading in their life, or they'd realize that there's nothing that is a perfectly new idea. Even if you are to be a nitpick about that sort of thing, this story and Kousakacomplex's other stories are unique, and well-written. Now if it was plagiarism then I would agree. But I've not seen any plagiarism from this author.

Why don't you come up with criticism that isn't stolen and overused, anon?

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've been enjoying this story a lot so far, and I really hope to see more. Thank you for sharing your stories with us, Kousakacomplex!

Don't need a unique critique for a common problem amateur writer's have. It's fan fiction. He sees a plot and he takes it and adds his own characters.

I don't get the BS going on. I like free/amateur writers. They make me appreciate the books I pay for.

Ignore that anon. An anonymous commenter that comes back less than an hour after your comment to reply? That in itself is pretty self explanatory. This guy has been stalking me for months now. Logic and reason just does not work on him. I'm just his excuse to vent whatever personal frustrations he seems to be harboring. He's not exactly harmless, given that he's attacked my readers on other stories, tried to defame me, and spams my stories with bad votes (this story dropped from 4.82-4.75 between yesterday and today), but thankfully the efficient staff at literotica has been doing an excellent job so far in picking up on his vote manipulation and removing his votes. He is persistent though, as he drops my ratings back down every time they do it, but there's not much else i can do except give up and take my writing elsewhere (which would really only give him the satisfaction anyway), or deal with it and keep writing, as depressing a pair of options as those are.

When is Pt. 04 coming out? Im super invested in this story!

It will take a little more time because real life has caught up with me a bit. But in terms of what's written so far it's too soon to set a date. My apologies.

Is it bad that I have looked at your typical rate of new chapters and writing so I have an idea of when next chapter is near, so I don't have to check constantly?

I do not know how long you envision your story, (seven kingdoms at peace) but keep 'em coming.

Looking forward to what could be a team of three in the near future, and all the fun that could lead to.

I swear if you kill Serra or Kelly I'm going to find your house and slap you.

I don't know why I like this much but I do.

I know it takes a while to put out good quality work like you do. I was just curious if you may have a due date...any idea when the next one may be out?

need update soon please... *twitch*... such a good story and so addicting.

Before chapter 3 came, I reread first 2 chapters cause I couldn't wait any longer for next part. Since chapter 3 I have been checking daily for chapter 4. Like many others I much anticipate what will happen, and would love it if you could post in these comments when it is close, like you did before chapter 3 I think. Also agreeing with other readers; do NOT kill Serra or Kelly. It would break my heart!

Killing off one of the girls would make for dramatic story telling. We'll have to wait and see what he rips off next to find out who is dying. I mean Ravenloft is someone else's work completely.

Just so incredibly good, keep going for sure

As I mentioned before I've been a little busy lately, but I have been making some decent progress on part 4 recently. If it keeps up then i could see it being up in two weeks' time, but unfortunately not a lot sooner.

@myanonymoushater, Ravenloft is a setting, not a work per se, and if you read as much as you claim to then surely you would understand what an allusion is, no? In addition to SAO I've made lots of nods to D&D in this story so far.

@everyone else, thanks for all of the comments and feedback. I'm taking the time to respond to all of the private messages as well, so look out for my replies. :)

Much love,

Kousaka.

Ravenloft is not a setting. Budapest is a setting. Ravenloft is the copyrighted intellectual work of another. You didn't make a nod to it, you straight stole it. Also an allusion is a passing reference with mentioning it explicitly, which you did when you used the title Ravenloft. If you're going to argue with people who give you shit, know your shit. That being said, don't let them bother you.

You pretending to be various anonymous commenters used to be funny. Now it's just sad. Get a life. Move on. Go away. Find something else to do that doesn't involve stalking me.

Your amazing. I love this story. I cant wait to read part 4. People like you are why i still have a positive out look on the world.

Kousaka,

As an old gamer and writer (many years ago mind you), I have really enjoyed your story. Thank you for the ETA updates and I look forward to your future installments in this series. Daily life and petty critics will always try to derail your progress, so please continue to persevere.

I'm getting attached. You better write a fourth chapter lol

This is amazing! I remember back when this was a single chapter. Then i lost it. Now i find it and there's two more? Fuck yes! I'm so bookmarking

Well, I won't do a damn thing, but I'll be very upset. So don't do that. Lol. Anyway, Kelly says she knows Serra, but...Serra evidently had something to reveal to Josh...I wonder what that was. Really enjoyable story so far!

-Anubelore :-)

Yo, on the 7th you said you might be able to upload in two weeks, and I think that it would be fenominal if you upload on the 21st for two reasons.

1: Then I only have to wait 3 more days.

2: The 21 is my birthday and I can think of a better birthday present!!!

This is a realy good story but the problem is that if u keep the story far for so long people might forget about your story......... and like the previous 2 part was of 7 pages u reduced this one to 5 pages?

@anon from 08/18/2017

I couldn't upload in time for your birthday, so plz accept my belated birthday greetings in the mean time. Lol. I'm trying really hard to finish by the end of the week but my life is hell atm so in not 100% on that. :s

I love this story and can hardly wait for it to continue. I reread all of it in anticipation of next chapter and I want to thank Kousakacomplex for adding a comment now and then to let us know when we could possibly foresee it. I used to look for it once per day, now it is more like 4 times per day! I really hope your life gives you a bit of time over soon! And whoever puts difficulties in your way, should appreciate your artistry and let you get to it. Good luck with all your troubles!

his artistry. he writes about a brother fucking his sister. In real life that story doesn't go well. it's called molestation.

So much goes through my head when I read how you chose to put down someone and something that makes most of us who read it anxious for the coming development... I believe criticism should be constructive or not given at all. I believe just trying to put people down without said constructivity is trying to steal energy and attention from the person who deserves it. I believe you should yourself strive to create something, rather than using the energy you have to hurt others.

Yes; Kousakacomplex displays artistry! Most of us commentators enjoy what he writes. If you don't enjoy it, go elsewhere to read about things you enjoy reading about! If you don't like to fantasize about incest, cause you feel it is wrong, choose other categories here or in other websites. We who go here to read, do it cause we enjoy fantasizing about this. Most of us would not want to do it in real life, so what would happen in real life is really not an issue here, and what would happen if this or other incest stories were real life situations, has no bearing of the level of artistry of this or any other story.

When it comes to your claim about molestation, it is really silly, for so many reasons. First, if two people who are both grown up, chose to have sex together, how can anyone claim that one molests the other? Second, the only sex so far between the two siblings, is in a computer game, however real this game makes things feel... No real life pregnancy or STD or anything of the sort will come from having sex in a computer game...

Mrseeker, social loser. Justify your incest obsession all you want, we all do, but to call it art and not 'bizarre fetish writing' is sad.

@anon the only sad thing here is your insistence on stalking me and my readers to spew your hatred and project your own social insecurities onto others. As usual, please do Fuck off.

@mrseeker when it's 1 am and I think I'm just too tired, I need to sleep. it's comments like yours that motivate me to pour another cup of coffee and say, 'no, just one more hour.' Progress has been slow because of my real life constraints but it's about 3/4 complete. There are some important plot points I need to work out before this part is up though, so I'm taking my time to get it right rather letting things get wildly inconsistent in future parts. :)

My thanks as always for your continued patience.

Kousaka.

Well, either way, you're a funny sort of person, aren't you? My question is, how did you manage to make two anonymous comments in a row? I thought the site only permitted one... VPN, maybe? TOR? Curiouser and curiouser...

@Kousakacomplex:

I'm glad you're still here! I'm sorry you're having to navigate troubled waters in your "meatspace" life; that sucks. But I'm (perhaps selfishly) relieved to learn that you don't intend to leave us hanging, lol. I've enjoyed the way you've crafted and described the mechanics of the game; sometimes it reminds me of when I played WoW, heh...

If the father is already dead...did the kids do what their dad is thought to have done? Just a rhetorical question, but I wanted you to know that I'm actually *curious* about the answers to some of the puzzles in this story so far, as opposed to being interested solely in the (definitely enjoyable) sexual bits...not that there's anything wrong with that!

I hope everything gets better, or as "better" as it can get, for you in "RL" and I look forward to the next entry! Oh, and *glares ominously* don't you dare kill Kelly! ...lol.

-Anubelore :-)

It's possible one troll attracts many. They like causing shit and playing off other trolls. Ignore them.

@Anubelore: I kind of don't expect Kousaka to reveal in the comments anything about the father, so awaiting what more will be told in next chapter... From the story, when I read that the bad guy is dead in real life, I have figured; either this father of the kids have set up everything that he wanted to happen at this gathering that seems to be upcoming; before dying, or as a second option, he has found a way to stay alive in the game, until the conclusion that he is orchestrating, even when his real life body is dead. Those are my best guesses so far. It seems very unlikely that the kids are the real perpetrators, considering how defenseless they seemed against the giant and the would be person killers.

@Kousaka: Hang in there! My hugs goes to you, as comfort in all the troubles of your private life. Best wishes in your final touches of chapter 4, as well as in unknown number of future chapters. I DO love your story. Still checking daily...

...keep up the good work but take time for yourself. I've been writing various things for years now and understand that sometimes you just need to step away for a day. One of my other favorite writers has RL issues as well but, we fans of his tell him all the time 'don't worry, we can wait, take care of yourself and your problems'. You have talent. I believe that you should write published works but, I'm just glad you decided to share your work here.

I was hooked from the beginning. Please ignore the haters and keep working on this. As a gamer and a fan of erotic literature, this story is a home run! Keep up the great work.

I'm (Not so) patiently waiting on the next chapter. Please keep it up

I am waiting for the next chapter, great story!!

Come on man ... it's been time. Waited waited and waited. Please give some update.

But yeah don't rush, take your time, give us a solid part 4 . Can you give us a date!!??

Told myself I was getting part 4 up by today, but then last week I ended up getting home from work after dark everyday(and I leave home hours before sunrise to get there on time. *sigh). Was too exhausted to even touch the story, and even though I'm almost done that little bit at the end really needs special attention. If next week is better then I'll hopefully say by next weekend, but if it's just as bad, then :(

Accept my apologies.

Absolutely captivating in every way. I love the gaming aspect and how there arent as many plot holes due to the fact that we don't know the boundaries of this game. The relationship between brother and sister could use a little bit of added incentive other then the fact that they are related. Right now the series is going great! Please continue, there are few other series on this site as luring as this one. This series reminds me of Tristans Tale, a bit of an aspiring writer i see.

This story is captivating. I'm really enjoying the entire story. Can't wait for the next chapter!!

I need more story. Please bring it as fast as possible. Just like a great book

K,

I'm checking almost daily for chapter 4, however, I understand completely that life happens. The work you have invested already in this story means that it deserves whatever time you need to spend to do it properly. Thank you for the update on your challenges and progress. Take care of yourself first, otherwise we may never see the rest of the story!

Please don't bother with further 'updates'. You clearly cannot stick to shedules that you yourself have proclaimed to (4 occasions at least) irrespective of whatever is going on in you own personal life. If there's one thing I can't bear nor abide it's tardiness. I find it more disappointing than actually finding no further story postings being made.

Ignore scally 21 please finish the story and take your time you can't rush an amazing author. You should write some books and release them in amazon

Let me get one thing straight, I didn't say don't finish this great story! I'd just rather the author post when finished and not continually say this w/end, next w/end or the w/end after that.

I coudn't agree more with johnm9171, god things need time and passion and the right mood to be in. Take your time, no need for apologies though I appreciate your "update" announcements, it's good to know that this "project" will not be abandoned like too many other great stories on this side.

Have a good time and inspiration!

I concur with johnm9171, you should submit work to Amazon, as I stated in my previous comment, you should write published works.

I read a lot of books and this by far was the most captivating. Drawing you in as if you were there. Please finish this story in you own time. I for one will wait patiently for its release no matter the date.

Wow! What a cliffhanger. You have an amazing talent for story telling...especially this type of story. Your attention to detail is phenomenal. You have an uncanning ability of immersing the reader deep into the story. I am so looking forward to the continuation of this story. Thank you so much for sharing.

I read hundreds of books and thousands of erotic stories and in any cathegory of writing, Kousakacomplex stories comes very high on my personal top list. Therefore I publicly ask any and all God/Gods and family/friends/employer or whatever natural and/or unnatural forces that holds back or could possibly in some way aid Kousaka; please give him time to continue the story. If any part of its' delay is writers blocking, I sympathize with that and hope the block goes away, but as far as I got it, the problem is life (probably =other people) getting in the way and, for the love of great writing, could those other people give Kousaka some space!

@scally21: I realize you find it frustrating to read an update from Kousaka with suggested time of publishing and then not find next chapter by that date. We all feel that frustration, but me and obviously other commenters as well, still appreciate to get these updates, cause they let us know Kousaka has not abandoned the story. So don't ask Kousaka to cease publishing updates: You COULD stop checking these comments and then you would not need to read them.

@Kousaka: I live in Sweden and I doubt that you live closeby. If I could, I would gladly do some of the things that take up your time for you, in order for you to be able to put that time to better use (writing). I still check daily for next chapter, but I figure it will come in a weekend. Maybe this weekend? Many hugs, from one of your loving readers!

I'd really like to see this story continue. Please provide more chapters as soon as you're able.

Can't wait to read more of this story.

Wow... So good. The story is fascinating as well as the sexual play I really hope there to be a lot more of this. Good work

I know life comes first but it's been over 3 months, I have to know more! Do they ever get out? Are they trapped forever? Either way does their relationship grow or fall apart? Don't leave us hanging

I'm starting to think that part 4 is not going to happen :(

I still check every day, comments to see I am not alone waiting, and of course checking for chapter 4. I am sure there is a reason, or several reasons for the delay. Previous comments here by Kousaka shows he did not let go of the story. Let us all keep our hopes up. I for one will!

@Kousaka: Hugs and love!

At the risk of incurring further wrath upon myself, I'll drop one more update. The story won't be abandoned, but my job doesn't give me much time for anything. It is a stressful job but finances were getting pretty tight since i hadn't worked since like March this year and I kind of needed it. The sort of good news is that it is a temporary job (good news for the story I mean, for me... well, you know) so at the end of October I'll be back to unemployment and will have the time to really get back to working on it. I really thought I'd at least be able to upload part 4 while working since it was so near to completion when I got the job, but that little bit of story really required dedicated effort and I only get maybe an hour a day to sit at it and it isn't enough for me to even get focused on what needs to be done. I am making notes and writing what i can so the good news is that a significant bit of part 5 will be done by the time 4 gets uploaded (hopefully it'll make up a little bit for how long this took) and there will also be a couple other shorter stories out with them.

Kind regards,

Kousaka

Whatever it takes, don't stress yourself. We're patient and we can wait and check every day like the addicts we are. We aren't going anywhere, you're stuck with us. :D

So glad that you have income, and that you are continuing the story While I have my own thoughts on how I would like it to end, I would not be able to tell the story in the same way. Further more glad to know this will continue beyond 4, With your story telling would be happy to see this going for a long time.

Keep up the good work, We all have life getting in the way of things we want to o, so don't worry.

Awesome is all I can say

'lurking'

Please tell me you are continuing with this amazing tale of love, beauty, and gaming.

So josh is S-Ranked now right...???

is there going to be more of this one or did it die like so many others???????????

To those questioning if there is more, in previous comments the author has said the story will continue, part four and even part five will arrive, give this glorious author some time to finish this story without rushing it.

Indeed, as our glorious author is a student, he is currently wrapping up exams (that's what I gathered anyway). He shall continue his work/passion when he is capable.

I love this story. Can't wait for more of it. I hope you do finish it

but this is ridiculous, it's been 4 months...

Great story ! Please please please finish it !!!

Good things are worth waiting for. Good luck to you in your studies!