All Comments on 'Susie's Freshman Year'

Your stories all have the promise of being very erotic yet fall short for me because you narrate in a very 'objective' way: as if stepping outside the action. Get in there man, use your sense of feeling. Empathise with your characters. E.g. the pussy eating can be just that 'she ate her pussy and made her cum by laving her clitty' OR it could be 'she touched her tongue to the hard little nub. It sent shivers in radiating arcs from X's pussy, over her belly and aroused her hardening nipples. X felt such love for this woman who knelt slavishly between her feet as she attended so eagerly to her saphic task. And X wanted her, so wanted her, hungry to taste the young woman whom only 20 minutes before she had called a slut...'

Who was the slut now? All she could think about was pushing that pointy little tongue harder against her cunt. She pulled on the poor girl's hair, urging her to lap harder, closer; wanting her to let the pointed tip stab at her sopping wet hole. She had the urge to scream obscenities and nothing censored her as streams of sexual urging left her throat...'

This is a waste of space and reading time.