All Comments on 'The Test Shoot'

Fabulous job! The build-up, hot sex, details, follow through.. everything! 😍

Hello, hello! So, short and sweet, this all started with wanting to do a take on a typical porn trope: the girl off the street who gets talked into porn out of a desire for money or fame. I came up with a simple inversion: What if the photographer's legit, but the girl off the street is horny? From that, I added in a not-necessarily-healthy dose of self-awareness over the line being walked here, and that ended up informing Levi's hefty sense of rich white guilt. You know what kind of partner plays well off that? A not-as-rich person of color. I went with an Indian-American because that was the most interesting to me; a progressive-minded person from a culture that has some traditionally conservative views towards pornography (fun fact, I wanted to make a Savita Bhabhi reference somewhere but I couldn't find a good spot for it).

That's really all there was to it. This is definitely one of my more playful stories, and regardless of how this does with the ratings, I feel like there are a few things I could've done better but lacked the patience to really get right. I think you can argue that the leads lack consistency, though it's more of a vague feeling on my part than knowing exactly what's wrong, and I also wonder if the photography and sex scenes are too repetitive. But it was originally a lot worse: I originally submitted this on the 15th and pulled it from the queue the next day. After sleeping on it, I realized there were a few things I had to beef up. Devika quitting Umbrla was originally a much more skeletal scene than it is even now, for instance; it was just dialogue with a little bit of prose thrown in, and it was lazy as shit. But the big thing I added was the segment of the last shoot where Levi goes down on Devika. That was originally a brief allusion in the prose (like the doggystyle sex and the shower fingerblast/titfuck) that I expanded when I realized that sex scene *needed* to end on Devika's orgasm; that was the whole damn point of Devika's journey, and I'm glad I had the presence of mind to add it before it was too late.

As for influences: I spoke highly of "Exposure Compensation Factor" before and it's worth checking out if you haven't. In addition, one of my fans first contacted me by asking if I was into GeorgeDaBuilder's "Everybody Needs a Hobby," which I found to be a fun little harem story and also worth looking into if you like that kind of thing. Me, well, at a certain point you just keep typing because that's your brand, and I think I've about hit that point. Thanks for reading!

.....VOLCANIC!! (in old school AVN-speak 😊)

You may be good enough to write for a living. Honestly...

Every single word.

Definitely worth more than 5 lousy Gold Stars !

Rapier

my high school photography work, where I kept wishing I could photograph the beautiful girls a bit more than the obligatory "cheerleader" or "musician" shots for the yearbook.

my college days, intrigued by the warm smooth flesh of a couple of young women who liked to exercise.

one semester-long time of an academic career, where I kept trying to seduce a young Indian graduate student and got frustratingly close.

And a few others. Complicated by the fantasy of being a really nice, really ethical, really RICH guy who could attract women.

Outstanding. I've already got you as a favorite author, but this will go on my favorite stories list, and I'll come back to it every now and then.

long, lovely, sexy, exciting, hot, creative ... i can go on with the adjectives

I’m not big on Indian stories, but this was absolutely incredible! I don’t know how you meant for Davila to look, but I pictured her as Pryanka Chopra ... totally gorgeous and sexy beyond description. The storytelling was excellent, the dialogue great and I thoroughly enjoyed “TheTest Shoot!” Looking for a sequel or another story that’s even better!

Thanks a lot! I definitely understand not being into Indian stories and actually struggled with marketing it as such. I'm a little undereducated in the subject, but I've found that Indian erotica tends to be a subgenre in and of itself, rooted in / pushing against a far different set of cultural mores than in North America (where I'm coming from). So I was concerned about misleading potential readers who might be interested in how those specific mores might be played with; here, I'm only paying relative lip service to such mores and telling a more specifically American story. There are some similarities, I expect, but I'm not sure how relatable or interesting it is for Indians, Indian-Americans, Indian-Europeans, or people who just plain like Indian erotica. At the same time, though, I've said before that I tend to write stories that I want to read on this site, and aside from the reasons I listed earlier...well, I just wanted a sex story with an Indian-American lead, one that wasn't overly dramatic about the heroine's "shame" or "scandal." And I wanted people who felt the same way to know that there was something out there for them to try.

As a personal rule, I don't like to get into fan-casting characters because I'm not super comfortable with it, and anyway, I don't like to step on a reader's imagination. If I do enough that you have no problem filling in some blanks or substituting some minute details for what you personally find more interesting, then I'm not going to lose any sleep. But every now and then you catch me in a mood, so I'll say this: I did *not* picture Priyanka Chopra when I was building Devika. But she's not too far off, so if that's what works for you, don't let me ruin it!

As for a sequel...well, ask the fans of my series "Graduation" how good I am at delivering sequels in a timely manner. I'll take you into my thought process, though: There's a part of me that REALLY wants to write about the superhero shoot Devika wants to do with Levi because the idea of that sex scene turns me on something ridiculous. But I don't know if there's a story in it unless it's Levi's friend—the SFAI classmate who was supposed to model for him but got sick—holding the camera, and I don't really know what her character would be. I'll tell you what, though: I've got 4 other stories on this site that I'd be happy for you to read and support, so if you're interested in what else I can do, go check them out!

This is by far the best story I've read on this site

Good job @member9458.

Loved the story. I'm a little prejudiced since an Indian doctor took advantage and fucked my wife. But good job

Anon, change the names and locations, and there's a possibilitiy the experience between your wife and the doctor would make a good story in Loving Wives. If need be, use some artistic licence (fictionalize a bit) to make the story even more interesting.

Like another comment said, the best thing I've read on Lit since I've been here (not actually that long, but still...) I was a bit reluctant to start a nine-pager, especially one that promised to be a slow builder, but it drew me right in. Devika and Levi are fully drawn and their interactions and dialog compelling. Enjoyed the way you used the photography sequences to build tension and the bits of humor for relief. And the payoff...wow! Very hot. Devika blowing up and blowing off Umbrla was the crowning touch. I am certainly going to be reading your other stories now.

Enjoyed every line of it, thanks for writing and sharing it.

Highly disappointed from a girls point of view. Two pages where she gives him a blowjob, while only two paragraphs were she gets pleasured. Very frustrating. The last two pages ruined the whole mood. Would have been awesome if there were details of how he pleaured the girl rather than few lines clumped together in a single paragrph. Hated the story unfortunately. Although, i see good potential. Maybe try discussing with a female friend to get that point of view too. So that its not a male dominated, male oriented story, rather, all kind of females would enjoy it too.

Hey, thanks for speaking up. Absolutely, my goal is to write erotica that men and women can enjoy equally, and I think any arguments I could theoretically make about Devika's strength of character, and the pleasure she takes from everything she does with Levi in this story, as valid as I think they'd be, would stand beside your equally (if not more) valid disappointment over the lack of "equal time," so to speak. You make a strong point; hard to argue with the text.

For what it's worth, the long blowjob scene was a response to another story I wrote, STAY SWEET, in which the female lead wasn't very good at giving oral. I never saw myself as very good at oral sex scenes (going either way) to begin with, so with this I wanted to push myself a bit. Still, I probably could've and should've pushed myself more, and I'm sorry to have let you down. I'll try harder going forward.

The details around the photography eventually overwhelmed any erotica or feeling you intended to embed in there...Too many things going on at once completely cluttered the imagery leaving nothing to savor in the end...This story would've probably read

much better without the sexual buildup...

Liked the diversity, but I read this story right after your one set in the old west and for a good part of the story I expected Levi to turn bad in the next paragraph.

Going back to the previous story, the Englishman would also have had a holster, of course...

A lovely story jarred by a patronizing attitude. You don't need to handle Indians with kid gloves. Indians don't feel inferior to anyone in any way. If we sometimes come across as deferential or soft it's our culture that teaches accomodation, respect for other's opinions and avoiding arguments and confrontation. We are extremely proud of our ancient history, values and culture. For example no looting takes place in India when there is a flood. Shops are not broken in to -- instead people go out of their way to help others. Compare that with Houston.

Finally, Indians as terrorist is a ridiculous concept as Hinduism Buddhism and Jainisn are all based on peace and non-violence (remember Gandhi?). You really have no idea what Indians are like. Please repost by deleting the offensive parts which anyway have nothing to do with the erotic parts.

I loved this story! I related to it a lot in how she describes sex and insecurities and Jesus I went looking for some decent porn and found an excellent story. You’re a wonderful writer, this is fantastic

Rarely see good erotica with an Indian character.. Loved it!

I’m sorry, but I did not get the last sentence.

i loved it so much but can you continue the story so we can meet sandip and the other charactors that havent been looked at yet

Loved it, loved how the story is told from the woman s point of view, how it makes you feel you re her... and damn it s a sexy feeling

A magnificent and very hot story, thanks for writing it.

This was a very special story I could not put down. Devika was a queen at minimum.

Indian women can be as beautiful as any other women in the world, and I could easily fall head over heels for a lady like Devika. Your writing was superlative, and I loved the way you treated her in the story. You have some real sensitivity for women and how they want to be treated--at least in my humble opinion. I could read stories like this all day and I am grateful for your giving me such a beautiful piece of work to read!

This is the first comment I've posted on any story but happy to say thanks for writing it. Your sense of humour and nerdiness shine through brilliantly here but aren't overstated. I have read other works and found the same, bravo.

More please. We need the next section where they get together and take the modeling world to the next step.

6:22 am, I could not put your story down! If only more authors had your grasp of language. As a true grammar nazi, I am easily distracted from good stories by poor writing, but your story had few mistakes and was a joy to read. Not only did you use adult vocabulary, you gave us real character development! The female voice was believable and the buildup was HOT. The characters playful sense of humor and the fact that they stay together really added to my personal enjoyment. I will definitely look for your other work.

I don't know if I have the ability to properly praise you for this story. It was fucking outstanding! I'm almost 85 in a few months and to say I found it hard to read, is a miracle!

Thank you for your talent and sharing it with me and us.

This is one if the best stories I have ever seen. You were as much a genius as Levi and Danike were in the story. Thank you

This is one of the 5 Best stories I have read on Literotica! Good characterization, good development, Believable!

I WILL be looking for more from you!

Thank you for a great story!

You are an incredibly talented writer. Branch out, just like your subject.

I just came back and read this story for a second time. It was just as hot the second time! A super turnon! Thanks.

Great story

You are an incredibly talented writer!! I’m a huge fan of your work here on Literotica. I honestly believe you have greater depth to this writing endeavor. As in, write something that isn’t “erotica” per sè, and go for a real book deal of fiction!!

As far as erotica goes - here at Literotica - you’re at the very pinnacle of the heap! No one comes as close to you by way of character development, story detail depth, and drawing in your readers. Formulaic? Not a chance. Predictable? Not really, no. Just really great writing. Keep it up!

I really loved Devika's internal dialogue, it was sexy, raw and intriguing throughout. Just getting to experience and follow her journey alone would have earned this story a five star from me.

I loved Levi in the beginning, and never disliked him at any point, but the white knight savior piece of his development knocked him down a few pegs. Really liked how vivid the scenes were, and how they didn't feel like something I could easily project forward from. This was excellent work.

I've re-read the story and, even though I knew what was coming, I still loved the details.

Wish a skilled photographer would come along, find a suitable model, and illustrate it. But it leaves enough imagery in my mind, the photographs could only gild the lily.

@SilverPlated: You know, with all due respect to anyone who likes this piece, I re-read it recently and I can't say I disagree—in fact, I might like Levi less than you do! You can probably chalk it up to not really understanding the specific characterization that I was going for with him, and how that can be attractive to others; Levi's a little too eager to assure Devika that he's a good guy, and Devi's maybe a little too quick to buy in. Given another shot at this there's a bunch of things I'd try to do better: I'd make Devi sound more midwestern instead of like someone from my area, maybe change her final costume into more of an Indian stereotype rather than the Arabic stereotype it is (or at least come up with better reasons for her to play to that stereotype instead of her own), certainly I could give the professional photographer a fucking Instagram account. At the top of the list, however, would be giving Levi less to say, playing his insecurities closer to the chest and letting his reputation speak for itself. I think my finale could've been a lot more cathartic if Devika had to work a little harder to draw out Levi's inner pervert.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback! Glad you liked the story regardless!