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All Comments on 'Orgasm'

by Billsmiles

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AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Poor choice of tense

You are trying to get the reader to belive that he is there. That really never works.

You are telling of something that has happened so write in the past tense. This is just jarring - sorry.

BillsmilesBillsmilesover 6 years agoAuthor
Anonymous comment

I wasn't trying to get the reader to believe anything.

Anonymous
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