All Comments on 'Morning Ride'

liked the rhythm you found in fits and starts, in this poem. However, I think that rhyming in a set pattern as you do, here, is detrimental to the overall poem. Adding sketchy grammer in a couple places (to force a rhyme or two, I think) only brings down what could be a really good poem. I love sex before work, too. >=]

If you've never read the poem "the love song of j. alfred prufrock" by t.s. eliot, i'd suggest looking it up and paying special attention to the way he rhymes, and the rhythm of the poem, in general. if you can get a feel for that, you'll be a long way ahead of where this poem is at.

Overall, I enjoyed it, loved the content, but I think you can do it better. Feel free to pm me anytime, if you have any questions, or want to tell me to go to hell.

~D.A.