- All
Comments (8) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Alas...
...no flame. Check the stove, and put another log in before your pour water on the rocks.
I swallowed the raindrop bliss, bliss, bliss. Didn't need the fourth one. Work out the muscle knots and this could be quite good.
sounds almost like
like a sweat lodge.
There is nothing like emerging from darkened, suffocating heat, naked, into a world of cool color.
Rather like being reborn
: )
I liked this :
~Heats snakes
Sliding into pores
Steams wrenches
Turning out sweat~
Nice work
The snakes gice it a ritualistic feel too
very interesting poem
this has a nice feel to it / the first three lines are very strong / and other areas of equal strength are throughout the poem / minor repairs of some inconsistencies would improve its already apparent strength / if you hyphenate de-muscled, why not pink-skinned? / in line twelve, it seems 'strike' should be 'strikes' / there are two stray commas / if those, why not others in areas that require? /
i like the image of raindrops of bliss...
I like how the heat is seen as weight and it becomes too much...i imagine staying inside until the last possible minute and bursting into the cool rain.
Heat begins to feel like a weight
Heavier and heavier
Another blast of steam adds tons
Cannot carry it anymore
Makes me want to head to a sauna. Guess a hot bath will have to do. Sigh.
...
Best three lines
"Heats snakes
Sliding into pores
Steams wrenches"
I risk going up against one of the big guys, I think the end is fine
"But each drop is a bliss
Bliss
Bliss
Such bliss"
I gave you five...
yet, I don't understand this:
Heats snakes
Sliding into pores
Steams wrenches
Turning out sweat
Sorry to the last poster, but I don't get it, and I have always loved lostandfounder's poetry.
Sorry lostandfounder, that line just lost me amongst the rest of it. Great as always, ignore my ignorance. ;-)
~~
Terrific sensory experiences with just words.
██
This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 39,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.
════════════════
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Flame, Stones, Steam, and Rain or
More submissions by lostandfounder.