good but rushed you should have spent more time on the back story when they were young and more time on what happened between then and when she moved also more time on after she moved in but before they had sex it would have been nice if you continued to tell what happens next do the parents find out does she get pregnant in other words this was way to short it should have been three chapters one for thier teen years one for what happens between then and now and one to tell what you said here only with more detail please do a rewrite
English
rushed
good but rushed you should have spent more time on the back story when they were young and more time on what happened between then and when she moved also more time on after she moved in but before they had sex it would have been nice if you continued to tell what happens next do the parents find out does she get pregnant in other words this was way to short it should have been three chapters one for thier teen years one for what happens between then and now and one to tell what you said here only with more detail please do a rewrite
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