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No Escape

bytungtied2u©
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by Anonymous

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by jd4george09/08/04

The first fouth fifths of your name...

...Is the one comment that I'd offer. I was thoroughly enjoying the repetitive lilt, until I came to this section:

"so many futures
snuffed out
slaughtered
a herd of horrified faces"

I became tongue-tied at the snuffed out/slaughtered, and wondered where the flow went. Perhaps something akin to "flat out snuffed out/and slaughtered"... regardelss, a little tinkering there might be in order.

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