My Fall

Sometimes less is more.

There's some wonderful images and concepts throught this poem, all wonderfully describing him as Fall. That's where the magic is.

The parts that didn't work for me, were when you "talked" about the seasons and abandoned the metaphoric description. The parts that worked were where "fall" and "leaves" act as verbs, nouns and adjectives.

Consider just a tad of trimming. (The joy of editing can be as nice as the creating). For instance, imagine how this line might read, without the second "brown":

"and the leaves would be brownin'
just like his brown skin"