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English
Well it's a great play on words
and I do love the way you write, but I must admit that the idea of divine piss raining down makes me wanna say ewwww. I know you said urine, but maybe the metaphor could be a bit more removed--I'm not sure the way it clashes with the delicate strength of the rest of the poem is worth the wordplay off the title. Just my opinion, sweety. xo, Ange
Excellent
I love the " god on a bender" and those last lines are perfect
Thank you
Ewww
Ange is right. Unless I am doing the pissing. Look out, Ant People, who foolishly built their colony so near my favorite fishing creek!
Clever poem, TT2U
I've got
a little black book I write poems in, got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb in, when I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone... ( PF) ;)
yeah, if God could create words like that, he/she certainly could be pissing down on us laughing and enjoying the whole thing !!
Come on.....
....man's greed and the crass stupidity of politicians in sacrificing the planet to oil based economics, have much more to do with wholesale pollution and the eradication of natural resources.
I'd love to see you aim your great ability at the right targets - there's not much time left!
There....
...are a lot of powerful thoughts here....I think it needs a different title to do it justice, and a bit of editing. The puctuation is inconsistent. This can be reworked into a better poem, I think, that addresses all these points and also those below. The thoughts are terrific.
I concur.
The title is too blatant for me, though the double-entendre is fun. How about something out of your first verse... such as "No Ordinary Rain"?
fuck yeah
this is a great picture!
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This poem was selected from Lit's archive of over 40,000 poems for inclusion in today's Archival Review.
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