All Comments on 'Blueprints Ch. 01'

Great opening chapter with an especially interesting setting. I'm eager to read more.

A vivid introduction to what could be a passionate affair. It's a very impressive first story and I look forward to reading more.

Nice! A Must Read story

Christ! £12 cocktails! I can't get over that. Little wonder I prefer bitter or Guinness and lord knows they're expensive enough these days. Anyway, this is a very promising start---although you don't mention it, I assume that there will be more to come. You say this is your first foray into a Literotica tale but the story's so well written that I take it you've written before. Whatever, keep this story going.

I'm really impressed by your story. It's an excellent start and I'm looking forward to more.

"- This is very much an introduction to two characters. Focus is on, Zara, the younger of the two. Although there's a steamy section, the story may not be to everyone's tastes. So, if you prefer a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinda thing this may not be up your street."

Get rid of that. It's pretentious, silly and irritates readers.

"The way even a smirk met her dark green eyes made, the younger woman's stomach flutter. "

Why is there a comma after "made"?

Please learn the proper use of the comma. You insert it randomly and inappropriately all over the place and render many sentences non-sensical.

"The author moved into the light, which exacerbated the greenness of her eyes " - "Exacerbated" doesn't mean what you think it does. Look it up.

Take your time with this one because its brilliant

I want more!

Love the slow burn, keep up the good work!

I find myself eager for more. I really enjoyed the scene where Zara was fantasizing about Joanna. I certainly hope it foreshadows what is to come.

Keep up the great work.

especially that gay friend who mocked her. The story can become interesting.

But - I really do not like anonymous comments, and I think Literotica shouldn't allow them - can you explain why you put so many commas right before the names? I always had to begin reading the same sentence once more because I feared I misunderstood some grammatical structure, but it never seemed to be the case. It is your story, and who are we to blame you - we are reading it volunteerly and for free. Still, I do not see the point just to throw dice where to put commas and bewilder readers.

Hi! When is the next chapter coming out? Can't wait 😉

Excellent start to what I hope will be a long series. Five stars. I like the detail and the slow buildup.

There is only one thing I don't like: repeated use of 'the older woman', 'the younger woman', 'the author', 'the taller woman' etc... Sometimes I find this confusing, other times a bit distracting. I prefer just 'she', or if that is ambiguous, 'Zara'.

lovely!

You've loads of room for character development. I like how you've eased us into Zara's life a bit, and how you've let us see a touch of the enigma that is Joanna.

I've just had a thought. If you've eased and teased us this far with your easy-to-read writing skills, I can only wonder at what it will be like when those two finally get together.

I hope to see more from you.

Hi! When is the next chapter coming out?

Thanks again for the encouraging comments. I'm on vacation just now, so hoping to get some more of Chapter II written... Thank you for your patience ☺️

This is a lovely beginning of a hopefully longer story. There's a nice tension to it.

I can't really say that much yet but I must say that this story keeps my feet on the ground. I'm excited to read more!

Wow, this is incredible. So well written and both Zara and Joanna are really engaging and relatable. I'm so glad there's more to read :)

The story is building but I'll like to suggest you do less commas, its really distracting. Then the words the "young woman" and the "older woman" is repeated almost everywhere, just stick with Zara and the professor's name(can't recall). The typos are understandable, other than that, nice story build.

BUT(isn't there always after a compliment?) you need an editor. Being from USA I don't claim to know British English except some mistakes are glaring with misused words, punctuation, and unneeded adjectives.

The story is well paced and keeps the reader interested in continuing and at the same time filling with side stories to make a complete story.

Thanks for writing this.

More interested in 'loving wives' stories but came across yours and like how the people are coming to life.

Really engaging opening that stoppped me from putting the story down!

Believable characters, beautifully drawn. Enchanting dialogue. I do hope there is more. Congratulations, and thank you.

I love the detail and build up. I'll be reading the remaining chapters in bed. ;-)

Great start to what seems like will be an even greater story! I’m looking forward to continuing reading the rest. I really like Zara’s indecision in between wanting her new “crush” and being “straight”.

Really well done.

The trams don't go anywhere near Morningside and these characters aren't believable Edinburghers because they don't have a conversation which involves complaining about the works. 😛 😛