All Comments on 'Heatstroked'

I've been reading stories on Literotica for a few years, and must say this is the best one I've ever read. I got swept up in the personalities and life of John and Becki and everyone else so much it felt I was reading about family as I watched people grow up and together. Best wishes to all of them!

PUT OFF DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO TODAY JUST TO FINISH THE STORY. IT KEPT ME INTRIGUED FROM BEGINNING TO END. THANKS FOR THE GREAT READ!

Loved it!!!!!

Thanks for sharing.

loved the story, stayed up all night to read it from start to finished

The twists and turns just made it better

😎

This seemed to be a nicely detailed anthology with some erotic wickedness and simple daily life wrapped up into not outlandish reality.

BRAVO!!!!

It kept me reading all day, seriously hope you win the contest.

Great store, kept me reading all 25 pages, enjoyed the story.

it gets more and more dumb near the end. not a bad read though.

Wow, what a great story, I just couldn't put it down.

Then the nearer I got to the end the more I wanted to read, why does it have to be such a short story ? I so desperately wanted to read more

Thank you for a masterpiece you genius

This was an amazing read. Loved the story and the characters. Thank you for this excellent effort.

This is the best story I've read here out of the many hundreds.

Hi, read your story, all 25 pages. The story wasn't about the sex, you had developed interesting characters, had the reader wanting to know what happens next. Great story, made me want to read it all. The last page was a little confusing. I was a little surprised to see John described as having a droopy eye, droopy mouth, walking with a stick, (might indicate a stroke). If it was a medical condition causing this (skin cancer) then it could have been explained, because it seems you wrote it to imply John was old, You also described Becki as looking like her grandmother. John and becki would have been 48ish in that last chapter, which is a few years younger than me, I certainly hope I wouldn't be considered old. Or am I? I may not be fit to offer any feedback. I’m not sure I’m sane, I'm 51 and pushed my shopping cart at a furious speed down Ikea's car park this afternoon before jumping on for a bobsleigh like ride toward a carpark filled with expensive german cars, I didn't care what people think, I laughed. Congrats for podium place in the contest. Regards.

i know it's hard to love and go physical with only one girl. but isn't that perfect. to know that there is a women loves you to death waiting for you at home

Very good read. The story line was great. The love story sweet. The sex was awesome!

I'll be looking for more from you!

This is the second best ever story that i have read over on the site. And that is really something.

Excellent excellent writing. Incredible story.

very well written, got me hooked, finished it all and enjoyed!

This story was amazing. It felt like I was watching an 80s movie. I was laughing at parts, had tears in my eyes at others. Great Job.

Thank you for a wonderful story.

a lovely love story, enjoyed reading all of it.

Loved it. What an awesome story. Lovely writing too.

Words like best and awesome don’t do justice as adjectives to describe a story like this. The depth of the character development, the twists and turns of the plot- amazing! The sex parts just made it that much better. What a wonderful gift of writing you have shared with us! Thank you so much!

I don’t understand why this wasn’t #1 in the contest. This should be #1 of the year and #1 of many years!

This story should have won! I loved it. Great character development, awesome story line, and the perfect amount of romance and sex. I loved the setting as well. Made me nostalgic for my formative years.

Hmmm.... So his dad was a closet queer and the mom and sister were lesbos

Very enjoyable story. Thank you for it. I think Becki was a very immature young lady, glad she finally grew up. Five Stars!

Like the factual basis to the story. Actually had towns, locations and weather right for West Texas. Wasn't all sex but about two people learning how to become adults and the compromises necessary to do so.

All the characters are well written. I actually read the whole story in one sitting. Thanks for writing this.

I have been an avid reader for about 55 years. The last few years I quit reading anything because stories, books and novels held no mystery for me anymore. I just didn't care what happened in them or who it happened to as the writers of today don't craft a complete story. This was a complete story that made me care about the characters and what happened to them. I sit here with a tear in my eye typing this because it made my happy. Thanks for writing it.

Good one.

All that promiscuity on his family side looked quite out of place in the story. Great one nonetheless.

Loved it. At first it was more like a realistic Forrest Gump that I could relate to. Then the other characters went off the deep end and I figured that they were the ones that had heat stroke, not him. Loved it

Good but glossed over the college experience too much, felt like it needed more time between them breaking up and getting back together. Not calendar time but space within the story so we can see his life without Becki. Also I don't believe that she could go without sex for as long as she claims, as she was written it seems she has a very healthy sex drive and doesn't seem like a person who would abstain for that long.

A couple other nitpicks: 1) She has been writing to him for years and even wrote to him about Chaz, but never mentions that he was her gay stepbrother?

2) This is supposedly a small town where everyone gossips about everyone else, yet neither of the characters hear about each other for 4 years? No one in town gives John a heads up that Becki was back in town? And no one tells Becki that John's mom is sleeping with/in a relationship with Emma?

Really liked it but, even at 25 pages, felt the story was rushed in the end.

Yeah, liked it except for the gay dad, lesbian mom and sister, and the it. Why can't people write normal stories anymore? I can't watch TV shows anymore either.