All Comments on 'The Sleeper Train'

But you can write! You didn't tell me that when we chatted a few weeks ago. Your clear description of the incidentals makes the story convincing, and the characters are well drawn. If I have a criticism it's the one I'd make of a lot of the writing here, which is that a few paragraphs don't quite pull their weight.

I have three bits of writing here on Lit - this one may possibly appeal to you:

https://www.literotica.com/s/notes-of-a-fastidious-woman

The anal section comes towards the end.

If you want to discuss your story further (or discuss anything, for that matter), you could message me via my profile. I have it set to accept feedback but not anonymous feedback.

I look forward to your next story!

Well, I am more than impressed with your story. It is wonderfully written and moves along at a very smooth pace. I'm a little slow on some things so I wasn't sure about Mary and the gentleman who took her in the vestubal and whether or not she was dreaming all that. But she did start feeling uneasy, so now I think it has to do with this guy somehow watching her. A peephole from the compartment next to hers?

Well, I reckon I'll have to give this story another read so I can get my swisscheese brain working on it.

Look forward to more of your work!

Ted

Very well written. A nice pace to it and very sensual. I hope there will be more.

Thank you for your kind comments!

It's my first attempt at a story, so it's a little rusty around the edges, but I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

I've just submitted Part II, and the final Part III will follow shortly. Unfortunately I have been too busy to write, so I feel that I've lost the thread somewhat, but hopefully it will at least provide a bit of enjoyment as Mary's journey comes to its conclusion.

I could visualize the shiny metal plug being slowly pulled from her ass, the lips of her anus clasping to it. Then sliping between the pouting lips of her mouth as the cockhead entered her asshole.

In the mind's eye one could see her taking that same plug and reinserting it into the gaping freshly fucked hole to hold the cum leaking down her legs.

truly amazing price of writing and SO erotic and well observed. As another commentator said, you could practically see her bottom open up to release the heavy plug - briliant and now I am off to read the next chapters :-)

Thank you for writing . Rated 5 * x

I saw you in a room and said I’d read one of your stories. I’m impressed and you have a style that hooks you in. Please write some more, you have so much potential