All Comments on 'A Strange Car in the Driveway'

she would lose just as much as him. Plus now he knows the bitch really didn't love him. He should take her for everything.

and make sure the waters hold your prey, TK U MLJ LV NV

not quite HDK status, but worthy of 5 stars for trolling the closet cuckies living in this cat.

What a waste of time 1* not funny, been done before, just boring.

Just love your warped and cynical sense of humour.

Clint Eastwood -you are not-- closer to Don Notts in fact.

Now tell me ----Where did you get that cat?

More please.

Since there is noo cheating att all this doesnt belong here also a freaking fucking story !!!

Hilarious.

Lue

go back to school...

You've dared to be different and have a little fun along the way. How dare you!

The poor anonymous one-bombing btb misogynists except nothing less than the wife to be a brainless slut and the husband to be a stoic saint. Did you not get the memo?

Well, since you did amuse me and you dared to be different I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you five stars...this time.

You missed a few cliches. Like wife is 5'2" with 38Z bra size and weighs a svelte 105 lb. and of course she was an virgin on your wedding night which was after you both graduated from college. She still stops traffic. Oh, yes, don't forget the green eyes and long blonde hair.

So do better next time! And keep on writing because we need more smart, funny stories!

It's difficult to write a really funny story...And even more difficult to write a nonsense one. This story had some funny moments (like the one with the cat), but also had some weak moments no funny at all...Then the story went down with its ending: to be a good nonsense story it must have a real nonsense ending...But the writer has chosen to deliever a moral ending, instead of a nonsense one...2* for the smiles he brought with some parts...

@dmhack

The Saint husbands are the husbands of the RAAC story, who forgive every humuliation and forget everything.

To understand not only to sell the the cheating wives to Mexican whorehouse are BTB stories. If you understand Vulcez's story "How Are You?" is BTB then you will be to understand easily why Seurat's story "Homecoming Call" BTB story too.

Saint husbands in BTB stories??!!! Dear @dmhack, have you read Mitchfren's story "Bailing Out"?

You find the mentioned stories in my favorite collection!

Joe dimaggio. Enough said!

Not a good ending. Not much of a marriage to begin with.

You just insulted most of the lame ass writers on Lit and you did it masterfully.

I'm sorry I thought it was funny. I hope that's wat you were going for. If you read it on the internet it must be true. 5

both her and her daughter really were broken up over the divorce

it truly appears as if she has been looking for an excuse

I know it was meant to be funny but even jokes need consistency

But not quite...

a nd take five stars isn't enough with you both have I Q of a turnip.

And I'm not just talking about the story! The reaction from the humorless BTB gang is as entertaining as the story. These same people laugh out loud at the satires of swingers, bulls, cock cages, hot wives, etc., but just can't seem to laugh at their own absurdity.

You're poking fun at the BTB'ers. Nice job, got most of the cliches in there.

Instead of the brain dead wife, you give us the brain dead husband. He doesn't want to watch them because he's not a "chuckold?" Fine, but why wouldn't he want more evidence than a kiss and a hug in the kitchen? But, no, then he'd see they were in separate rooms, and his misunderstanding is revealed, and you don't have your bug comeuppance.

Must you put your BTB rant in EVERY story?

So is Oatzab really just Duna?

What are some other alternate names out there?

Though if you imagine that the characters to be real than it is a great tragedy!

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that!

Could be, language issues seem similar.

If this is the Best the B.T.B crowd has to offer then we are blessed with good hot wife stories.This is the first attempt at even a little B.T.B story in over a month so at least we do not have to read sick fetish B.T.B stories to often

This wasn't an attempt at a BTB story, it was a shot at them!

Pretty good parody of the BTB

This wasn't one of them. This was a very, very lame-ass attempt at being cute. Just Swingerjoe, lurking in the shadows of anonymity. No one would read his stories and authors just deleted his comments, so he resorts to this.

Do you imagine this is funny? You're a talentless hack, and finding clever aliases doesn't change that. If you want to see how humor is done, read Harddaysknight or Britease. If you want satire at its best, read Whatdreamsmaycome. This is just clumsy and clownish. Pathetic. One star.

I wanted to laugh at this, but I just didn't care enough to put forth the effort.

Yes, what clever and biting satire Whatdreamsmaycome has offered. A person named "Clearly." A story filled with "bull" puns. Hilarious. A ridiculous depiction of a husband in a cock cage. So, so, funny.

Just admit it. You're all butthurt because now you're the subject of satire. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. Your spine is so soft you can't even laugh at your own absurdity. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

Dumb and boring. Not funny and just dull. Christ, man, it's just as bad as all those other SvingaJoe attempts at parody. They all just fell on their face. You aren't a good enough writer to pull it off. Of course luedon will always kiss your ass, so you have that. At least you didn't take shots at other writers in this one. I guess I'll give you a two for that instead of the one I'd planned.

@ the last anony. No, he's taking the shots at other writers in the comments this time. Here's your one big star.

Just when the category wars had seemingly died down a little bit , here comes the next SwingerJoe/ Frontlinecaster/ Bonnie-Vestie incarnation .

Can't believe I actually finished this . SMH .

LMAO at all the butthurt BTB douches who can't take a joke. Hilarious!

That must surely be the funniest line I've read on here in ages. I didn't know americans had this type of humour, but you obviously have, even if some of the commentators haven't. Great little story and well worth 5 stars. I loved it!

Hilarious! Nice 5* comedy to start off my Friday. Cheers!

RNebular

that you, frontSHIT?

You don't have it. This wasn't remotely funny. It's a juvenile playground "Oh yeah? Well, you're one too" taunting. Poorly written, poorly conceived and poorly executed.

To be funny, it has to bear some resemblance to truth. Only true things are really funny. This was so ludicrous that I can't imagine anyone getting a chuckle out of it. My estimation of Britease has sunk into the toilet after that comment. I've read funnier stuff scratched on the walls of public restrooms. A fail. No score

Has any story ever perfectly captured the truth of the BTB genre better than this one? Either you read a different story than I did or you have zero ability for self-reflection!

Where is the humor? Sounds more like sarcasm at a certain genre. That's funny?

All this sneaking around isn't fooling anyone. Give it up, asswipe. You're too fucking stupid to fool anyone

It's only funny when that genre isn't BTB. As long as we're pointing fingers and laughing at others, it's freakin' hilarious!

You really are a dumb shit aren't you. I always knew you couldn't distinguish one story from the next. You missed your overdone word "HOT". What this wasn't hot enough for you, ass wipe? Don't despair, the hot wife/slut wife stories will be along shorty for your perverted mind.

You can tell from the comments the cuckold lovers are out in numbers today. Did you get your belly laughs today? I get my laughs daily from the absurd stories and comments in loving wives. Priceless.

Yeah, I'm LMAO too.Just like the btb crowd laughs at you daily for slobbering all over the cuckold stories. You feel better now, that you got it off your chest?

No further comment is needed. This is good reading? But then, anything goes in loving wives. What's next?

i think the guy did the right thing. the bitch wife should have informed him the cousin spent the night while he was out of time. for all she knew a neighbor could have tipped him off. also the daughter should have also come clean that she slipped into town. and the boss should have said more than he did. the guy did not deserve anything that happened to him. my husband would react the same was as would i if it were the opposite case. i would have immediately told him if anyone was here while he was away. that is what people in love do. they communicate.

This has already received much more attention than the quality of writing merits. It’s just a very bad attempt to write something cutting.

The aim isn’t reached, because of the writer’s lack of wit. In order to be a decent parody, the story has to actually reflect some semblance of the nature of the thing it’s trying to lampoon. This doesn’t. The husband is a cartoon, drawn very badly. It's not funny, because no one actually takes his attitude seriously. The writer is too intellectually challenged to understand how to make something humorous. To make a parody, you first have to find something which people actually take seriously and mock it.

You could make a parody, for example, of political figures, as Steven Colbert did with the Colbert report, because people actually take the things he parodied seriously. He mocked their stupidity, and it was funny. This husband represents no one, actually, and no writers I have read (there may be some that stupid) have actually presented such a ridiculous figure as a serious character.

Writers present cuckolds, bulls, alpha males, hotwives, swinging couples, Navy SEALS, giant black dongs, huge boobs, super-spies, size-queens, etc., as serious things, so stories mocking them are funny. This isn’t, because it lacks that fundamental element necessary for satire: mocking something people actually take seriously. Sadly, the author, and some others who expose the slenderness of their intellect, thinks this is funny. Most people will just find it infantile and pitiable.

Communicate? LOL, that would eliminate at least half of the LW stories!

Wow. That was funny! I can't stop laughing about the cat. Great job. I'm glad I read this.

When cuckmore shows up you know it's swingerjoe. They love sucking each other's cocks, and then luedon cleans up. The three cickateers

You're saying that people don't take the husbands in B.T.B. stories seriously? You must be joking. The subject matter for this lampoon was ripe for the picking. You're just upset that you and your pals were the target this time.

Only shit!!!

Every btb story stars an emotionless husband who gets his revenge by being a step ahead of his brainless wife. He finds some way to burn both his bitch wife and her lover. He usually is a super-sleuth or black belt or something else ridiculous. Or he used high-tech spy gadgets to catch them in action.

There is always a "confrontation" where the wife barely gets to speak, and the husband reveals his devious revenge plot. In many of these stories, the wronged hubby somehow gets his wife fired from her job. And he always end up happily ever after.

In this story, literally nothing goes right for the poor guy. He tries all of the above, but it all horribly backfires. What part of that don't you get, Kimmster?

I thought this was hilarious. It is oddly reminiscent of Swinger Joe, I don't think it is. He's never had a problem signing his name to his stories or comments. Even when he took his shots as RLMann, he didn't deny it was him. Not sure he would start now by telling a story that is exactly like one he would have done. That doesn't seem like his style.

This story is funny where Swinger Joe failed, in my opinion. First of all, this author was obvious with his intent from the start. He didn't try to get you with an "aha". The over the top ridiculousness was the same kind of humor that makes the likes of South Park, Reno 911, and Superstore funny. It was supposed to be over the top, \

What was being made fun of here was the cliche's of the BTB stories. This author didn't target anyone in particular (unlike SJ). This wasn't personal. I think this was just good satire.

Gotta agree with "Cuckmore". LOL

It didn't have the uniform cleverness of WhatDreamsMayCome's 'Dazed and Confused' or the ability to trick the readership of RLMann's 'Honey We Have To Talk', but it had some really good funny bits.

As Britease said; the line about the cat was the funniest gag seen here in ages. And the special forces training line was worth a grin too.

Maybe some LW readers just don't like authors parodying their favourite theme? Does their sense of humour fail them when the mickey is taken out of the BTB genre? Do they actually have a sense of humour anyhow?

Lue

Thats a funny persiflage!!! Better than the pervert cuckold/wimp crap!!!

I will never count you in the unintelligent group. How could I? You, of course, own my electronic heart.

The problem is, those aren't "BTB cliches." They are the cliches that cucksters like to aim at any story where cheating doesn't have a happily ever after, but they are not close to portraying the cliches. They really aren't the cliches of BTB stories, they are the cliches that people such as SJ make up to ridicule BTB stories.

I am not defender of BTB stories. I'm much happier with the problems being solved and a nice romantic conclusion where everyone lives happily ever after. This may be a parody of something like Huedog or one of the extremists might enjoy or write, but this is a parody of anything written by the better writers around? No, it isn't. It's a parody of a parody. That's why it isn't funny. It's building a straw man and beating the heck out of him. Have any one of the writers such as Qhml1, DTIverson, Randi, HDK, Oshaw, Ohio, ever written anything that this parodies? No. This is the caricature of what they write, according to the gospel of SJ, and then a parody of that caricature. That's why I can't enjoy it. This author made up his own version of a story, then tried to satirize his own made up story.

The plot alone was enough, but naming them Hester Prynne and Pearl definitely made this a parody, a satire.

I’m going to go through this Sbrooks style:

#1 Cliché: I came home early from a business trip and found a strange car in my driveway. Now, I've read enough of these stories to know what that means. It's a cliché for a reason.

How many stories start off like this? That’s not just BTB, that’s Loving Wives!

#2 Cliché: I nearly wretched into the bushes, but remembered to maintains my composure. In every one of my favorite online stories, the wronged husband always maintains his composure. Only a truly weak pussy would display even a hint of emotion after witnessing something so devastating.

Author’s who have characters that act like this (Vandemonium, Huedogg, etc.) get excellent ratings. Not throwing shade on any of them. But this is how LW works. If the husband spends too much time recovering from the pain, he’s a pussy. He’s a whiner. People who grieve for a short time, come up with a plan of reasonable retribution, and then executes it get great reviews from people like HarryinVA and anons.

#3 Cliché: I felt like jumping through the window, glass shattering at my feet, filled with adrenaline, charging across the kitchen linoleum like a bull, tackling him to the ground, and beating him to a bloody pulp.

"No, stop!" Hester would scream. "Don't hurt him!"

"Fuck that!" I'd shout. "And fuck you, you cheating cunt!"

Oh, man. That would have been great. He would've had it coming, too. You don't mess with another man's woman. Unfortunately, I have bad knees and a bad back, and I've put on a few pounds, so my days of leaping through windows are over.

Obviously making fun of the superhero, Navy Seal type that shows up in soooooo many BTB stories. Even you acknowledged that. What made this one kind of funny was that the author had the main character wanting to do all of that, but he can’t because he’s an average guy. Just like most of us reading these stories.

#4 Cliché: Now, in the stories, the husband character is always bigger than the lover, and always a better fighter. I'm ashamed to admit, though, that I had let myself go a bit in the physical health category. Just walking from my car to the house left me winded

Same as #3

#5 Cliché: As I lay there staring at the ceiling that night, my thoughts turned to our daughter, Pearl. She had just begun her freshman year in college. Although she was a dead-ringer for her mother, Pearl had always been Daddy's little girl. Surely, she would take my side in the impending divorce. I thought that maybe I should recruit her in my revenge plot. I'd read many stories where the daughter and father form an alliance against the cheating mother.

Oh my God! How many stories have the kid getting involved by choosing one parent over the other, and then actively participating in the plans to out the mother. In fact, if the kid doesn’t do this, then she is considered a brat and accused of being a horrible, selfish kid.

If I go on, I’ll fill this comment section with examples. That’s not even halfway down the first page of the story! Like I said, this story makes fun of the BTB genre like Reno 911 makes fun of the show “Cops” There are no cops that wears Daisy Dukes shorts and cowboy boots, but it’s still funny.

Sorry to disagree with you, my love! I’m sure we’ll still make it! Our love is stronger than that!

It is a sorry sight to see

When little birdies disagree.

.

Lue

brilliant funny spoof, the evil bond villian anology was pure genious "where did you get that cat" had me in stiches. excellent!

i for one will look out for more of your stuff.

Comedy is hard." ~Sir Edmond Kean

The funny part is that the one story Kimi has submitted was all about a daughter who discovered her mother's infidelity, and then teamed up with Daddy to make Mommy see the error of her ways. It's become a classic LW trope.

Maybe Kimi recognized this, and the satire struck a little too close to home.

Well to do and well to do for now so many trees. Approximations and approximations are so often the root cause; though here specifically, and in the now of the often times also, there are perhaps given circumstances to consider. Forests are to be considered the perfect analogy for how different in size and circumference can often only be a gateway to the deeper things. Silhouettes of the more so, if you will.

Does this story truly develop, does it linger or are there other factors to measure it all against..? Perhaps an analysis can only ever be circumspect - the perfect "Riddle me this" so to speak.

Conclusions and analyses. Continuations too. Developments to come...

As the husband slinks away, the wife turns to daughter and thanks her for backing her story. "You taught me well, mother. I'm just glad we are rid of the whiny, sneaky wimp. Please, tell me he isn't my real father."

"I don't have a clue who your real father is; but, it most assuredly is not him. Now, go change clothes. We have dates with two out-of-towners in less than an hour. We should get $1000 each for tonight's fun. So, hurry."

'Cuz all women are dirty whores with no morals or standards! Amiright?! Yee-haw!! Praise Allah!!

He laughed. Then he cried. No, wait, he was just allergic to the cat...

Fun story. Judging by the comments, there are way too many people on this site that need to get a life.

Most of those criticizing you probably see more of themselves in your main character than they care to admit. Worse still, you had the gall to destroy some of their favorite myths (by pointing out that they were indeed myths . . . ).

Loved it !!

Yes it was funny. Yes the failures at life who always complain about a cuck story after reading it (and probably rereading it) did not disappoint us. However, the main question is:

WHERE THE HELL DID THAT CAT COME FROM??? :-)

Samson

Best ever put down of those stupidly ridiculous BTB stories we are plagued with on this site! Absolute crackup. And so much closer to the truth! 5* & favourited. Ken

Real humor isn't forced.

The writing was strained. It appeared we were supposed to find the husband comical but no humor ensued.

Fucking horrible. Even if it was in the Humor category it wouldn't be funny. Stick to baseball Joe.

negative rating, meaning less than zero

I found the story rather realistic

I usually don't like writing bad reviews. This was so out the realm of plausibility. I can only think of one was this would be realistic. The guy had a mental breakdown outside of what happened in the story or he was already that completely unhinged. Either way its a mental disorder and that's not entertaining at all.

And the majority is cucks flinging insults at the burn the bitch crowd. Lex 1 is back with his words of wisdom. Very enlightening. That should make Luedon happy since the "man" Swingerjoe left the house.

Of course let's not dismiss the electronic love affair of loving wives couple. Must not forget to mention Britease and Javmor. One line made the story for them. Something to do with a cat. How does a crappy story like this get so much attention. Ah, it must be the war of words that brought them running. What else could it be? Do I dare comment on the story, nah, I think I'll pass.

You just aren't funny. Smarmy and stupid fits you better.

Well that was just plain bad.badly written,bad story line and nonsense.id give it minus 10 but they don't allow that but they let idiots on this site that are just plain untalented.

The story was long, stupid and not funny. Of course there are stereotypes in the stories in Literotica after all the writers aren't professionals. The reality is the courts are heavily oriented to give the caretaker everything; the house, the kids, child support and even alimony to the cheating wife. So, unless you are rich and don't care about money, the only solution is to abandon ship, run and hide. Yes, it's a solitary life, but nobody screws you but yourself. You story wasn't funny, and it was full of reverse clichés.

Look at all the sad, angry, humorless men still throwing a tantrum over this story. Fun's over, fellas. Move along. Plenty of murder porn posted today for your jack-off pleasure. Sick fucks.

This is, by far, the most humorous commentary on some of the lame BTB stories on Literotica. I like a good BTB story as well as the next guy, but some of these stories require a suspension of dis-belief so enormous that it boggles the mind. Kudos to this author!

@sbrooks103x

What is the possible BTB-Revenge for a betrayed husband in the real life?

I see the editors of Literotica will launch my story in Romance which is full of good facts for our discuss.

Good reading for you if it will be published soon there to follow our discuss.

I did not publish in Loving Wives...............

Any resemblance between LW and real life is purely coincidental!

I'm not going to debate this with you any longer, as we simply don't agree.

If you really feel that you must get some sort of resolution, I've started a thread on this topic on the Bulletin Board, Author's Hangout, as Loving Wives, BTB vs. Consequences.

I am all in favour of poking a bit of fun at the stereotypes but when the wife chooses the nuclear option the fun goes out of the story.

Because she knew at that moment he was an idiot and just refused to be around that kind of stupidity any longer. Plus she's allergic to cats.

How to describe the story! Well 2 ways! On the radio an add for a sevices club and the woman doing the add her voice goes up and down in pitch " It Grates on your nerves" This Story is the same! 2ND were the hell is the B.T.B. storyline

I am sorry but this story sucks ★☆ WOOF

OH! I WISH THE BITCH DOING THE ADD FOR THE SERVICES CLUB WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP

The only reason this story gets read to completion is because it is short. Which is also this story's only positive feature. The only thing shown to be ridiculous is an author who ends up ridiculing himself.

I just had someone point that out to me. God, I feel stupid! Damn you SwingerJoe. LMAO!

Joe is gone. Luedon said so. Besides he doesn't have any trouble signing his name. Isn't that what you said? He's never made an anonymous comment, either. He said so. LMAO at you. The rest of us always knew Joe and Luedon were liars.

Yeah, and here you are crowing like a little bitch you are. Problem is you're wrong, there aren't enough good stories in loving wives, except the trash hot wife, slut wife, willing cuckold garbage you seem to prefer and slobber over daily. LMAO at you sick perverted whiners who fall over yourself at another one of Swingerjoe's crappy sarcastic stories.

Awwww. You mad, bro? Are you gonna cry? Sure seems like it. You and your ilk just got exposed big-time for the hypocrites you are. You have no problem pointing a finger and laughing at others, but the moment someone makes fun of you, you can't take it. You whine like little bitches. Humorless fucks.

Now go find your safe space. Find another story where a woman gets murdered.

That'll make you feel better about yourself. Hell, there were two murder-porn stories posted for you just yesterday. Plenty of jerk-off material for your sick fetish.

How would you know? You bitch about the btb stories, but yet read every one of them. Isn't that like calling the kettle black. You guys moan about the guys that bash the cuckold stories, but yet you do the same. Let's call it a draw. As long as this site allows both type of stories to be posting in loving wives both parties of moaners better live with it. Who's forcing anybody to read anything here?

As to this story, if one can call it that, Swingerjoe is just doing what comes natural to him, crying like always about the stories he claims he doesn't like, but just like all of you whiners, reads every one of them. The site thanks you for the continuation of the battle, they see the dollar signs and are very happy to rake it in at your expense. LOL

Your reading comprehension is for shit. DenverYo just wrote that he enjoys BTB as much as the next guy. Your gripe with him is that he doesn't love EVERY BTB like you do. He's apparently smart enough to discern the good BTB stories from the shit ones. He doesn't brainlessly wave a BTB flag and don a BTB cheerleading uniform like you do. And he probably doesn't bash every non-BTB story like you do.

As for calling a truce, sure, let's do that. Let's see a story posted to this category that involves a married couple having fun with others outside of their marriage that doesn't elicit two dozen juvenile comments about "cuck shit", STDs, and imminent divorce. Maybe if you fucking Sharia-loving primates would stop throwing your feces around this category it might be more enjoyable for everyone. We all know that day will never come, though.

Despite all those comments suggesting that DiMaggio5 is our Joe of previous times that we all knew and loved, I have my doubts. I did wonder, but I don't think so. I sent an e-mail, but received no reply.

Read SJ's farewell note in his biography. I thought it was sad. He took it all too seriously.

Unfortunately, the Dimaggio biography is uninformative, so there were no clues there.

I don't think the style was SJ's. His stories are well thought through and consistent. The Dimaggio story was patchy with little masterpieces (cat) interspersed with less effective writing. It was good, but I just don't think it was SJ's style. (Nor was it RLMann's style.)

If Dimaggio is indeed a new contributor, I hope he continues and develops. The LW commentariat needs a new whipping boy now that SwingerJoe has departed the scene. Their disappointment is obvious.

Lue

I too think it's Joe. If it isn't, the coincidences is uncanny. The similarity in the name along with the "poking fun" style of story.

I also emailed the author and didn't receive a reply. We may never really know, Lue. I have my suspicios, but I don't think it matters in the grand scheme of things. Things will continue on as they have been. BTB vs. the Cucks, clique vs. clique, commenter vs. commenter, and the ongoing category wars. Loving Wives will find a new villian, and a new hero to fight the villian. All of it will generate views and clicks on the stories, and the website will continue to flourish.

In the end, that's all that counts. We all find enjoyment in coming to Literotica. Whether it be moral outrage, getting turned on by stories, or simply submitting stories because you enjoy to write. This place is special to each of us. We want the site to flourish so that we can continue to use it for our entertainment.

Que sera sera.

One of the worst stories I have ever read on this website!

By Hester don't let the door hit you in the ass.

This was a fun read, even though the ending was telegraphed about midway through the story. Yep, could see that the wife wasn't actually cheating a mile away. Still was a nice fun read though.