All Comments on 'Cotton Candy Pt. 05'

This is obviously one of the nicest endings ever. well done and keep writing.

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This is truely immance, I read the whole series and still wanting for more. Never expected an ending like this, but now looking back at the previous chapters and hints throughout, I am guessing I must be blind to overlooked the hints which was always there. I will surely wait dor your next submission. Keep the good work. Thanks

Thank you, I enjoyed it very much and look forward to your next one.

What a wonderful story you penned. It was really a joy to read and I definitely look forward to any other submissions you post on here. Thank you Deceptivedomain. Loved all five chapters.

I am thankful that you liked the story. I know I can't be as good as most of the brilliant writers around, but I have tried my best. I know there are certainly more than a few things that I need to work on to make it a good read and I will certainly try to cover up the flaws in next stories. I am currently working on two of them.

'Nilofar' a story a started long ago, but never finished. I think I don't want to end it by the way it's supposed to and there's also my Halloween submission which is still unnamed but has a nice plot. I am planning to publish them as a long story rather than in parts, so it may take some time.

Till then take care and Thanks once again.

Couldn't ask for a better ending. I loved the character of Tina (or Simba) as well as the innocence of Olivia and would really like to read more on them. Keep writing. Thanks.

Too long since I read any good romance of this level on Lit.

One of my favorites I've found I love a good love story if the other story's you write are any thing like this one they will be great

As I have wrote in ch 4 I only read a few ch. of this series, but have not had time to go back and reread any of those yet, but when time allows I will, but for now a really great ending

I loved the story and can't wait for the next one :D

I really want to thank everyone. I am very new and not one of the most renowned authors and I must be lucky to find readers like you, who spend their valuable time reading such a long story which is more a romance than erotica.

I love stories like this, so my future works will also be like the same only. I know I can't make everyone happy and I am sorry if I have disappointed a few, but certainly this story has given me some followers, some very people, who has the same taste like me and I will keep writing for them. It's not the ratings or the views that matters to me and I can't promise you a mindblowing sex scene but I will surely give you some more truely romantic stories and I hope my actual readers will love that. Thanks.

Cotton Candy is by far the best story I've read on Literotica in a long time, thank you so much for the enjoyment it has given me.

I'm now waiting in hot anticipation for your next offerings!

Love Gertie X.

You have set the bar very high for yourself. Excellent writing and story. Tina was the master planner. Loved it. I just hope you continue, need authors like you.

Absolutely amazing story.... keep writing stories you have an amazing way of telling them

Can't wait for your next one 😍

One of my very favorite Literotica stories. All Parts. I was very happy that you posted this conclusion so soon. I kept coming back looking for more and tonight I found it. The blend of story and erotica was perfect. I was a bit concerned when I read Part 4. My initial thoughts were that the editing missed a lot. Now I read that it was the unedited version so I feel relieved and now I find that english is not your native language. This makes your writing more impressive. Please write more. I will come back often looking for the next story!

You are definitely a good writer and I can't wait to read more of your work. Keep up the with good work and thanks for sharing your talent to the world. 😘😘

it made me cry, it made me laugh and it made me love. Thank you.

The text had been changed and the edited version of cotton candy part 4 is now posted. Nothing much have changed according to the plot or stoyline but the grammatical errors are much lesser.

I have two new stories running, but can't confirm when it might be done. One of them will be surely out by Halloween. English is my third language so, I am not that good at it like others but I will surely try my best to keep the errors to minimal. Thanks for the support.

I had to go back and reread to put the pieces together but this was a great story!

This is truely awesome. Keep writing.

Superb ending, couldn't ask for a better one I guess. Keep writing.

Read it thrice, still can't get enough. Awesome planning. I simply loved Tina, such a character.

I only created this account to inform you that I truely enjoyed the story and specifically the romance rather then the sex. Will wait eagerly for your next submission. One of the best in literotica ever.

Can't ask for a better ending to this cute love story. I am so happy for both of them and now I expect much more from you and I really want to applause for you after knowing English is your third language. I can understand it must be a little difficult for you but you almost never let us feel that except a few errors in part 4 due to the unfortunate event. I will wait eagerly for your Halloween submission. My expectations are simple though - surprise me.

I alway try to be positive when I submit a comment. For parts 1-3, I'd give you a "10". For parts 4-5, I'll just say that I was very disappointed. I totally get that there s a jump in time lapse, but it almost seemed that you wanted to hurry up and get the story finished as fast as you could. The first 3 parts had lots of details, whereas the last part felt rushed, leaving me to fill in too many blanks. Probably a "3" for that. I guess I wish that you had saved the excellent writing for the end.

Thanks linebacker, for your valuable feedback and I will surely keep this in my mind while working on the next ones. I am really grateful that you speak up whatever you feel, because I to me It's the opinion of a reader that matters the most rather than others. I am very new and I know that I will make mistakes and I want my readers to tell me what mistakes I am making, or what you think can improve the story. Because I can only work on something if I know that I am not doing it right and I am open to all kinds of criticism or suggestions whatsoever u have for me, because that's the only thing which will help me to improve.

fell in with it right from the first chapter.an oustanding story,looking forward to your next story.

I want to thank all of you, I know I made a few mistakes but I think you can forgive me for that because it's my first attempt to write anything after all and most of you did already. You looked past all the negatives and still find my story good enough for reading. I will surely try to give you better stories. My Halloween submission 'what lies beneath' will take some time. But there is two stories 'through her' which is a small romantic story and 'Nilofar part1' will be coming soon. I hope you may like them both. Thanks

Deceptive domain: I certainly want to be careful with my opinion. More than anything, I want to encourage you. I really dislike stories that start and end with nothing but fucking and sucking and no story line. It's almost like fore play when a good story builds to an awesome sex scene. When I can picture in my mind what the characters might look like and what may be going through their minds, it adds to the whole story. It has been said that the brain is the most exceptional sex organ in the human body. Write what you are feeling exactly what you would like to feel af if you are the character. Maybe you have an unfulfilled fantasy. Describe what you think it might feel like if it were to actually happen. Looking forward to your next story.

I began to suspect the true identity of Tina about a page before you revealed it. I'm glad I was sitting down. Well done!

It's really kind of you that you liked it, english is my third language so it doesn't help much when i try to write something, i know that i can't be as good as authors like you when it comes to writing of course. Your stories are so beautifully written that i always wish that if i can write as good as you, but i know that i can't. So i will rather try to create a plot interesting enough and I hope you may like my next story which has an excellent plot along with some buildup and romance of course.

Thanks once again.

Loved the whole series which I couldn't put down... even if Olivia annoyed me so much sometimes...

Certainly lives up to your pseudo "100% Deceptive" - was so not expecting the end result that I kicked myself for being so easily deceived...

Deffo should publish that as a full-blown novel where length will not be an issue - can't wait...

Thanks for an entertaining weekend!

LNC

Gave up on my Halloween submission, hope i can finish it by Halloween 2018.. Lol. Working on 'Nilofar' which I started almost 2 years back but couldn't finish. It will take some time, at least a month or two. Thanks for the love and feedbacks.

Thank you for sharing your creativity with us. I was captivated by your story and was unable to do much but read Cotton Candy. I felt so many emotions while reading this, your talent is immense and I look forward to reading more from you.

So many emotions, I could not forget your wonderful story and had to read it to the end because in my heart I was sure it would work out in the end in spite of all the twists and turns which left me in doubt.

I did not guess the end which came as a pleasant surprise. Olivia did annoy me at times, so lacking in confidence in herself except for the sex scenes which were beautifully described-well done.

I read it as a romance and the sex was not the reason for my enjoyment, I am an emotional romantic and loved your story, I look forward to your next composition.

I am grateful to everyone for their love and support and i am working on another long story which may take another month or so. I personally suggest that you should read Rags by stormyeyedone. I am not sure how things will reveal in future and how it will flow, but the emotions are too much. It got me so wrecked up that i can hardly write a thing, since reading the Rags part 2.

EXCEPTIONAL

An exceptional story - I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thanks for the feedbacks and i am almost done with 'Nilofar', my second story. It's stand alone, long but also unique in its own way and also my only submission for the winter contest. I hope you you love it.

Thanks.

Awesome story ... suspenseful

Wonderful long story - carn’t wait for your next one. Thank you.

I'd love to hear more of your stories! This one is really sweet yet suspense. I really love the turn of events and most of it are sooo unexpected. I admire how you fit the pieces and make a beautiful story out of it. I hope you don't mind me asking, are you a Filipino?

Thanks for the feedback and i hope you love my next story as well which is more romantic but with some twists n turns.

you have chapter 41 twice and 71 and 72 are missing

Thanks, it's an error in numbering the chapters and you're the first one to notice that actually. I will surely keep an eye on little things like these in my upcoming stories.

An amazing tale from start to finish!!!

lol, after your first part I assumed that English was not your native language, and you have just confirmed it for all.

You deserve much more than the 5 stars available since you took the time to translate your story into English either physically or mentally :)

The only giveaways were the odd word or use of phrase, but those in no way changed the enjoyment of your entire story.

Please continue to write, you have a natural talent for it.

I have been a literotica reader for about five months now, but I have never comment on any story I read, though I enjoyed many. But I had be selfish if I refuse to comment here. Your work is so amazing, I can't believe I finished all the parts in a single day. This is the type of story that I have always wanted, not much sex, and there is a lot of build up. Though English is not my native language, I hope one day I can write English just like you and write my own story too. Thank you for sharing this with us, please keep it up!!!

The smoothness of the writing improved from part to part. Well done.

I really enjoyed the first four parts of the story, but I have to say that this last episode felt abrupt, rushed, however you want to put it. It felt as if you didn't put as much into it, just writing it for the sake of creating an ending rather than telling the end of their story.

I guess it's the adrenaline rush. It happens when you run an a half marathon and finally able to see the finishing line, that's when you rush to finish it as soon as possible. I'm not an author and it's my first story, thanks for pointing out the mistakes I'm making, I will try my best to not to repeat them. Thanks once again for your kind words and your time.

Just recently read Cotton Candy Pts 01-05, which I immensely enjoyed. The Author seems to "favor" leading ladies, whom are shy, insure and hopelessly jealous of the female partner, while not yet admitting to being a lesbian or attracted to women. Olivia was often angry with Tina for varying odd reasons throughout 04-parts. I felt that Pt-05 was short & sweet since it was the culmination of Olivia-Tina-Meg & Mom's journey of love.

The story line was quite nice and the sexual aspects entertaining, which in total was a good reading experience for me. I awarded all 05-Pts with "5-Stars" and will / have read all of Deceptivedomains submissions!!

This the second time I'm reading this story, but it's so so so beautiful! Amazing job buddy, I hope you keep writing more such lovely stories.

This is my 3rd time reading I fall in love to the story please write more as I always check the if you have new one

I really love all chapters of that story. Nice build-up.

Didn't think of Tina being Simba, Rose talked about her one time earlier.

Thanks for sharing

Sylvain

This series was wonderful I loved all of it from its simple moments of beauty to its heart gripping dramatic moments. I would gladly read a libraries worth of stories written with this much thought and heart. It reminded me of "The Sneaky Valentine". I think others would agree that more stories would be happily received. Thank you for writing and sharing such an amazing story. My hopeless romantic heart is thrilled.

It doesn`t matter how often I read this, its still one of my favourite stories and is still as good as the first time.

This must be the 5th or 6th time I`ve read it and it still retains its magic.

How this story isn't in the hall of fame list. This is literally the best story I've ever read.

An extremely belated bit of feedback, but what the hell, I like at least pretending I'm contributing.

The storyline here was excellent. I'm always a fan of the "straight single mom falls for a younger lesbian who's great with her kids" sub-sub-subgenre, but the added layer of mystery around Tina's true identity and intentions really elevated the entire piece. You did a great job with foreshadowing, too-- the final reveals felt like all the pieces finally falling into place, rather than coming out of nowhere.

The prose is solid enough, especially for a non-native speaker. It was occasionally clunky, but not enough to really detract from the story. (You might look at some synonyms for "angry," though; I wonder if the frequent harshness of Olivia's temper is coming from word-associations not quite matching up).

The biggest point of improvement I can think of is pacing. Particularly during the beginning-- a short montage showing Tina taking a couple weeks to work her way into the family would have helped a lot, I think. Olivia's temper also seems to flare up very quickly and disappear just as suddenly; the moments would have more emotional impact if they were less common and had longer-lasting effects on the text.

Overall, a good story and a very successful first attempt at this sort of fiction.

(Although I stand by my previous comment-- Olivia needs to see a therapist. I know some people with borderline personality disorder and it really seems like it fits with her character and actions. Whether or not that was what you were going for, you certainly presented her with every bit of respect and authenticity a reader could ask for. A explicit shout-out, even if it's just in the chapter introductions, might mean a lot to people.)

I'm surprised I haven't come across this story before. Some small imperfections didn't spoil a thoroughly enjoyable read. Five stars.

BEAUTIFUL ...... For all the time you took in detailng your storie the end was i bit in a rush ...... It was a fabulous wonderful tale, a romance par excellence ...... Your talent with the pencil is clearly visible, so thank you for sharing this heart and soulful peace you published here

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I liked this story a lot up to part 4. For me it might have ended there with Olivia fighting Tina/Peter to take Meg away.

The reasons why I dont like part 5: After all the lies and manipulating to Olivia I just cant understand why she still likes Tina, the lack of trust must be unsurmountable. The story with Simba is also completely unbelievable. And after 3 months much of the love Olivia had shd be eroded away especially if she thinks they are after Meg.

Aww. You write with a certain tone and humor, but it adds to the charm of the characters. Thanks very much. I enjoyed reading this series.