All Comments on 'Prototype Ch. 09'

Consider me utterly satisfied.

Until next time!

these chapters can't cum fast enough !!!!!

the story seem pretty fleshed out. I hope you find time to delight us with more of these wonderful tale.

Need more Rachel!

Wow, just an AMAZING chapter. Anna's " recruitment" delivered on all expectations. REALLY interested to see how not only she progresses but her co-workers as well. Plus looking forward to having Maggie and Rachel back as well. Great storyline.

So good. One of the best pieces of erotica I've ever read.

I check in on Literotica just to see if there's an update. Very hot.

Below you go continually brainwashing a harem though, you might want to see down and focus on your existing characters. It's really easy to let things spiral out of control and just brainwash a new character each chapter, but it also usually makes it less manageable.

You've already got future conflicts of the previous mind controller, any errors he might make to himself with his upcoming training, and problems with harem members acting so different and noticed by friends and family. That doesn't even touch on the Maggie story arc.

Don't get me wrong, loving your story. If you want to just focus on new harem members each time, I'm sure it'll be very hot. It just seems like you are a good writer and i look forward to a deeper plot.

Wow, this is an incredible story. It could be as good as the famous "The Book". I can't wait to read about how his unrequited love Magee is brought under the sway of the machine. How about a scene with the primary escort Rachel and Magee after she gets Magee to come in for some light training. I'd like to see Magee's hidden desires exposed, even if she's not completely a slave like the others. Maybe open her up to other women, interested in more training, kept quiet from mentioning it and hot for teacher. The device is almost too powerful. We need some troublesome mean woman who gets controlled. Maybe someone who blocked our hero janitor from finishing school, not Magee. I come to literotica just to see this story, like others have posted.

This story is excellent, however I think the chapters need to be longer...5 or 6 pages instead of the 2 or 3... Feels like I am reading snippets not chapters.

The story is still terrific but I have to admit it may not be the very rare horrific masterpiece I was hoping it might be.

There was some seriously ominous foreshadowing in the first few chapters that led one to think this might go down a real Heart of Darkness path into something very, very dark and twisted both for the protagonist and his victims Rachel and Maddie. This extreme route is something very few EMC writers try because going over that kind of deep ledge is risky and can leave the writer and some readers squeamish about what happens to the characters. It also takes a tremendous amount of skill to totally destroy story characters but still make it hot, even as you watch the car wreck. Some of the masters have done it, like Trilby Else who had the desire and skill and risk taking confidence to take that not oft taken turn. And he did make it hot no matter how badly he distorted his victims and destroyed their old selves and personality, despite how dark he turned them.

I had high hopes that Firstborn would attempt that rarest of stories too because of his early foreshadowing and I was excited about that attempt because he has the writing chops to pull it off in my opinion.

But in the last few chapters he seems to have pulled back from those early warning signs and taken the story in a more gentle direction for Benjamin and Rachel.

Not every one wants a Heart of Darkness story and I understand that. And Firstborn may have never really intended to write one, despite those strong early indications (though I suspect he did but then perhaps came to like his characters too much to go that original route evil route, which I easily know can happen, being a writer myself) that he was going to do just that. But I have to admit, I wanted to see him try it because those kinds of stories, if done right are real masterpieces of the genre, the hardest of all to pull off.

I'm enjoying reading and seeing where things are going! I can't wait to see what comes next!

Although, I really am hoping that Rachel isn't planning on using Dez to satisfy her deal with Mike. She's Ben's blonde bombshell, even if he doesn't know it yet ;).

YES! Trigger words, just what I was hoping for!

Now he just needs to work on building his support base. I don't think he should make any more legal staff into sex slaves as this would cause him to get swamped. Convert all of the staff into his minions but make it subtle enough that they won't actually behave any differently, except for sending some money monthly and free lawyer services whenever necessary.

Wouldn't it be awesome if he could train himself with trigger words to restore his dick and maybe delay cumming?

I wonder if the machine can be used to teach skills. like how to fight, dance, seduce people ect... Probably not since its purely visual and text based.

Hey FB,

Hot, hot, HOT! This is a REALLY fun and HAWT story! I sure hope you continue the arc and flesh out the harem, the possibilities seem, relatively...endless!

Keep up the great work!

Mel

Love your story so far! Thanks!

Please write more I want to see you bring me more information about the current status and New updates on the machine

Not rushing you!

But I may have created my literotica account just to be notified when the next instalment comes out...

Looking forward to the next installment. Very enjoyable series. Please continue.

I can't believe I missed this chapter and only realized it when I read chapter 10 and saw the gap in the story.

Your story started good and with each chapter became better and better. The more he enslaves women the better. He should have a harem of slaves and Maggie as obedient girlfriend.

Well, just to state the obvious, we apparently will need headphones and audio files as addition to the machine.

The law stuff is a little funny here. For one thing patenting a method is pretty possible. They’re called method patents. For two, the contract talk is kinda funny but this would be unconscionable as against public policy. Still funny tho

Anon the issue with patenting is that he stole the method he is using to brainwash people which most likely means they already patented it. And if they didn't why not plus those who either did or didn't would likely be looking out for those that would try to patent it in the future and would likely come after him for his attempts. It is far easier and safer to keep this a secret than it would be to patent it for any amount of exposure patenting could cause.