For a second I was afraid it was the hamster narrating.
Heeeheeeheeeheee! OMG! That hamster comment is so funny and cute! I'm fairly certain that the real-life Fat Louie would be too obsessed with Cheerios or his chew toys to ever watch anyone in the shower!
From cute to erotic to tense then romance, wow what a ride, thanks...Good Luck (*_~) Happy Halloween
Certainly unique, you might have wanted to give the Thugs names instead of numbers, that was a little awkward. Also, be careful about using too many hyphens...this story was infected with them, and it appeared more amateurish because of that. Good luck!
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