All Comments  for

Kiyomi's First Taste

byAnythingcanhappen©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by barepusslover10/03/17

Too Fast!

Water fountain to naked in three sentences. Slow down, develop scenes and characters. Keep writing. :-).

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by Anonymous10/04/17

What barepusslover said

Editors are available here on Literotica

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by Anonymous10/06/17

unrealistic character descriptions

I dated a Japanese woman in college, and like most Asian women, she does not have red hair, green eyes, or DD-cup breasts.

Mei does have brown-black hair, Godiva chocolate colored eyes, sensitive A-cup breasts supported by strong Coopers ligaments that sit up and smile at you, a tight, tasty twat and a ballet dancers figure.

I also remember telling Mei that she would age well after meeting the grandmother she was named after, who looks far younger than she is.

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sorry

Sorry, I will try harder to make the stories more accurate. I will also try to make the length and description better. Thank you for letting me know how you think. :)

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by TLMorgan11/06/17

Nice start.

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by artinsd11/07/17

I loved it

I loved it. You have a talent for capturing her innocence and desire.

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