All Comments on 'Mind Games Ch. 01'

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This is a great beginning to a story. I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

blond-females are blonde

throws-throes.

"I had planned too", is is not a sentence.

"I lifted my arm. I aimed the pistol at her. She laughed, then opened her mouth, like a woman accepting a cock.

"I angled my pistol up. "

What pistol? The one with two bullets left and toss asside?

To be continued is implies as this is chapter 01.

TBC is unnecessary even after the final chapter. The reader will know.

I've been mixing up blond and blonde for ages and will try and do better. Sorry for the other typos too.

And to be utterly fair...yes, to be continued isn't REQUIRED, but it appeals to my cheesy sense of the dramatic >.>

I like the start to this. Reminds me of some sci-fi 3D I've seen. Few typos as well. Keep going please!

Like where this is going, and hope to read more. I would just try to proofread some things before posting though.

Can’t wait to see what is going on! On to Ch 02!

HUGE FUCK UP in your plot-line there Dragon!!!

How did our protagonist somehow appear to magically be holding her pistol AFTER the villain had taken it from her and "...tossed it aside..."???

Otherwise the tale is of your normally high quality. I still gave you 4 stars.