All Comments on 'Wrathchild'

"Whilst" is not a term any Texan would use, it is however a European term, mostly heard spoken in Britain. If you are going to say that your character came from Texas at least throw a bit of accent in there or use some American or Texan terms.

You became repetitive.

Example: "a hive of activity"

There are many descriptive words in the human language. Maybe broaden yours with the use of a dictionary or even better, the Internet.

You gave away the whole plot of the story in the very beginning and honestly it was a very boring read because of it and lack of adjectives.

Add a little life to your commentary.

I'm looking for that juicy story that keeps me riveted from the very beginning and eagerly looking forward to each page and possible future chapters.

Please do not take all I say negatively, but consider it constructive criticism.

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Funny...I've been a Texan for 45 years(which is all my life) and have never written a thing with an accent....don't even type y'all or any Howdy's...so you just keep writing your way

i like incubus/demon stories but because she dies at the end please consider re-categorizing as Erotic Horror. Wasn't expecting this ending.

The Hyman is not like a piece of plastic that needs to be broken in order to enter the vagina. The Hyman is a ring of tissue around the vagina and is more like a scrunchy that can stretch in nature. If the "scrunchy" stretches too far it will rip but many women have flexible Hyman and do not tear, especially if a woman is properly lubricated. https://youtu.be/fBQnQTkhsq4

Hi man, it's the hymen. And I swear to god, every time I read the whole, "hymens aren't really tough!" "Losing your virginity won't hurt if you do it right!" I cringe. My (horrible) hymen was a little way inside and it FUCKing hurt. So. Much.

Did you know that humans and their cunts come in all shapes and sizes? And hymens are equally eclectic? And textbook anatomy is flawed?