All Comments on 'The Girl at the Spa Ch. 01'

constant whining and complaining was sooo repetitive and boring. And it took nine full pages before Alice came along to rescue the day. But I loved the clever asides and descriptions. I loved hearing his inner-most thoughts. Clever, sarcastic, humorous, bitchy. So Oscar Wildish.

5 stars! Wish it could be more.

With great characters we can love or hate as necessary. Still loving your background descriptions and scene settings, brings everything to life and pulls you through the story. Was so into it I stopped looking at page numbers. I see this is chapter 1 - hope we get more of Richard and Alice's adventure?

Great story.Looking forward to more.

This one is the dog's bollocks!

MORE!

But some things are not good.

How did he not know he had a sister in law? His father's marriage was not new and a fact like that would definitely be known to him, so a big fail on basic reality there.

Also the sex with the mother in law was definitely not needed in a romance catagory story, without those 2 things it would have been a definite 5* but with them it just about gets a 4*

Seriously? It's a story (and a rather good one I think!) I kind of get what you mean anonymous BUT its what authors call 'willing a suspension of disbelief'!.

How come he never knew stuff? The same reason that Gandalf never flew a giant Eagle straight to Mount Doom to dump the ring into the fire as soon as he saw it, the reason Dumbledore doesn't take the philosophers stone, Harry's cloak and his super wand, quit teaching and track down Voldermort with all of the other wizards. Because it wouldn't be as entertaining!

Five stars from me for an well written work with plenty of further potential!

Great stuff indeed, thank you for sharing.

To Anonymous who wrote "How did he not know he had a sister in law? His father's marriage was not new and a fact like that would definitely be known to him, so a big fail on basic reality there."

Not only are you too cowardly to register and post in your own name, but you are almost too stupid to be allowed access to a computer. In order to have been a sister in law, he would have needed to have a brother who was married. She is his step-sister you fuckwit

thoroughly enjoyed this first chapter, you put up quite a level to work up to or surpass

favorited and five stars and already waiting for the next instalment.

absolutely fabulous thanks for sharing.

Those 2 parts did spoil it a bit, apart from that.

Good story.

Steve wtf dude calm down, you sound lie a complete fucking psycho.

Captivating start to another of your wonderful stories. Looking forward to the interaction with the entire Mom step-family on holiday in France and the further development of his other step-family at the Spa. Thank you again and waiting for your next installment.

Swedish, all Steve did was pointing out (rather harshly) that sisters and mothers in law are something else entirely than stepsister and stepmothers. And that whining when you can't get your facts straight comes across like your rather dumb

Good story. The 'moon washed college halls' reference made me immediately break out 'Misplaced Childhood' and listen to it as I finished the story. Wrong mood, but enjoyable nonetheless. Cheers!

OMG! Those "Ugly sisters"!

Wonderful story, can't wait to get into ch2!

Five stars. Hope the next chapters very soon.

Strange but wonderful combinations.

The possibilities are endless.

Thanks

Welcome to the extended family.

Luv mum

and your sister (s)

My grandfather was from Manchester prior to WWII and then came to the U.S. and met my grandmother. I love everything English and especially the various accents and word usage. This is the second of your stories that I have read and I found them thoroughly entertaining. Yes, there are a few misused words and misspellings but I dare anyone to write without a professional editor and not be plagued by this type of error in their writings.

Please don't let any of the comments you read cause you any distress. Just keep on writing for those of us that find your stories so lively and entertaining.

Woodbgood1@gmail.com

I don't mean the 10 pages. I did not make it that far. I was surprised at the score rating and that this was not your first story. Sentences should not be long. Readers need to take a breath between thoughts, not to mention the poor sucker who might need to read out loud. It becomes a rambling mess as sentences should portray one item. Then the brain can put that away ready for the next item.

I got about six sentences in, or was that paragraphs? They are the same. Regardless of my not being able to read more, you have some talent for writing.

Sentences too long for ya?

Oh you poor guy! Still not to worry, there's lot's of good stories on this site that will be much easier for you to read with nice short sentences and words like 'in', 'out' and 'no' and 'fuckin' and 'clue'.

You write like you're smart or at least want people to think you are, but perhaps the problem is with you and not author of this excellent piece of work.

Gotta say, i love your style of writing. Don't know how to describe it, it's just comfy reading to me. Even the interaction with the "ugly sisters" at the beginning of the chapter was just fun to read. Also, living near the "little pointy bit way out west" adds to the comfiness for me.

When i catch up with this story i'll check out the rest of your back catalogue having only read the Big Brother one to date.

Keep it coming, 5* from me.

PS. Is Port George loosely based on anywhere in particular?

I like your writing, and give 5 stars. That's what gets me by stories that include pseudoscience such as homeopathy and detox. :).

Horrible. This should be under incest not romance.

Did you read the same story as the rest of us, or did you read the first few pages then just bounce through to the bit where they have sex? For your own reasons of course...

Read the whole story and then decide if you can scream 'incest!' You do realise that this is a PORN website right?

...not allowing Alice to raise a finger

...not allowing me to raise a finger

...not allowing Alice to raise a finger or me to raise a finger

Then to combine and shorten it you would say "...not allowing Alice or ME to raise a finger"

It is incorrect to say " ...not allowing Alice or I to raise a finger"

These are well-educated English, right. So throwing the F-word where unwarranted by circumstances sounds like it was put there to titillate Lit readers, who the writer must think expect it—so sort of patronizing. Agree with anonymous re I vs me—a little off putting, and an easy error to avoid. Still gave it a 5 for the fun.

and gently twisted quasi-incest.

A couple of minor issues which do not detract from a great start to what appears to be a lovely story. I'm not bothered about the long lead into the affair with Alice. Loved the way she seemed to be taking charge of the needy step-sister.

Wonderful start and nice to read one set clearly in the UK although never heard of Port George other than in Nova Scotia.

Kinda meh, like I enjoyed the premise, but there was very little depth to any of it. He's apparently quite shy and lack confidence and within a day is banging his sister and mom, no prior relationship, very little talking.

There really isn't any plot to speak of, or character development, it basically says his mom's terrible and so is his family, why wouldn't he get his own place? His dad's still paying his way.

Just a lot of plot holes that take away from any real enjoyment of the story.

Started off good, but faded as it moved forward. Repetitive and self-congradulatory.

Good story, agree with previous comment re cursing, education and money in the U.K. results (mostly) in a lot less swearing in adults, well off under 18’s still curse but mostly because they can and never at home. That said, the narrative has slowed as the story progressed, there’s plenty of sex, but very little of it moves the story forward or develops our characters. Fingers crossed there’s more to come, but hopefully we can stay away from cliche land….

Richard's man-hungry mother is just a whore

Wildly unlikely, but so what? A really good read, as usual.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It’s interesting rereading this and realising that there’s barely 3 pages of story in the 10 I’ve just read, the rest is (mostly) pointless sex and padding - more story and not so much sex would make this a much better read imho. I won’t re-mark this as Lit site rules will just erase my previous and future rating, but if I were it’d definitely be a 3.5 star if such a thing were possible. Ppfzz.